The Drones 🛸

***This post is meant to be tongue-in-cheek. Do not take it seriously.***

If you have been following the news in the United States, you have no doubt heard about the drones that are appearing in the skies. If you are not familiar, here is a little background. A large number of mysterious drones have been reported flying over parts of New Jersey and have been spotted in recent days across the eastern U.S., sparking speculation and concern over where they are coming from and why. Dozens of witnesses have reported seeing them in the state since mid-November. At first they were spotted flying along the scenic Raritan River, which feeds the Round Valley Reservoir, the state’s largest aquifer, about 50 miles (80 kilometers) west of New York City. But soon sightings were reported statewide, including near the Picatinny Arsenal, a military research and manufacturing facility, and over President-elect Donald Trump’s golf course in Bedminster. The government has stated that a review of the reported sightings shows that many of them are actually manned aircraft being flown lawfully, echoing the opinion of officials and drone experts. The Homeland Security and the FBI also said in a joint statement they have no evidence that the sightings pose “a national security or public safety threat or have a foreign nexus.” 

Conspiracy theories are going wild. Here is my theory: they are a precursor to an alien invasion. If you have read this blog for a while, you no doubt know that I am a fan of science fiction, especially Star Trek. I also find it hard to believe that the people of earth are the only intelligent beings in the universe. Astronomers have discovered planets in the known universe that are in what is known as a “habitable zone,” region around a star where planets can receive the perfect amount of heat to maintain liquid water on their surfaces. The theory being that planets in a habitable zone may also be planets capable of supporting Earth-like extraterrestrial life and intelligence. It’s hard for me to believe that we are the only ones out there. What has not been figured out by scientists on earth is how to bend the laws of physics to allow interstellar space travel like we often see in science fiction. However, that does not mean that someone else out there has evolved enough to make this discovery.

In 1947, the United States Army Air Forces balloon debris recovered near Roswell, New Mexico, was actually a crashed extraterrestrial spacecraft. Operated from the nearby Alamogordo Army Air Field and part of the top secret Project Mogul, the balloon was intended to detect Soviet nuclear tests. After metallic and rubber debris were recovered by Roswell Army Air Field personnel, the United States Army announced their possession of a “flying disc”. This announcement made international headlines but was retracted within a day. To obscure the purpose and source of the debris, the army reported that it was a conventional weather balloon. While this has always been a fun conspiracy theory (though there are those who will believe anything), what if that crashed “weather balloon” was really a crashed extraterrestrial spacecraft? The government and the military has been known to lie to cover up different things, so this could be one of them.

If it was an extraterrestrial spacecraft, why have they not made contact since? It could be that they looked at the geopolitical state of the Earth, the Cold War, and the potential for nuclear war as a reason to “wait and see what happens.” The people of Earth might destroy themselves with nuclear weapons and either make the planet uninhabitable and thus useless or with the advances in technology available to an advanced species, they could rid the planet of deadly radiation and colonize the planet with no resistance. So, they waited. What they saw was a planet of people who were constantly at war, but that one country had developed an overwhelmingly powerful military industrial complex that might be able to make an invasion difficult, but probably not impossible. I am talking about the military industrial complex of the United States here if you had not realized that yet. Then in early November 2024, the country with the greatest military known in human history proved that more than half the country is fucking stupid enough to elect an old, fat, stupid, and senile rapist, convicted felon, and lifetime conman to be the leader of this country. Then they have watched as he appoints people to his government who are drunks, child traffickers, other rapists, and just plain evil/stupid/crazy (use whichever adjective fits) people. They would have realized by now by watching right-wing news media and the Republicans in Congress, that this proposed cabinet and loyal followers this orange idiot who was elected president love conspiracy theories and will get whipped up into hysteria quite easily over nothing. So, by sending a few low tech observation probes to scout the United States, they can get these blithering idiots (and to their surprise and delight there are many Democrats who are also falling for their scheme), they can distract the people of the United States into now seeing the big picture, which has always been apparent throughout the nation’s history.

In other words, if you are going to strike when the iron is hot, defeat them at their lowest weakest moment, NOW is the time to do so. By January 20^th, all three branches of the United States government will be controlled by some of the stupidest people to ever exist in the country. These extraterrestrials probably have realized that China could pose a problem but could be dealt with effectively. The country is already ruled by fear and a corrupt government, they could probably be bought off and convinced to surrender because the extraterrestrials would take care of their largest competitor, the United States. Easy-peasy. Hell, COVID-19 could have been their first strike to weaken the planet, and they got lucky (we got unlucky) when stupidity won the 2024 presidential election.

So, the drones could be observation probes sent by extraterrestrials to scout out the planet, or…it could be a group of people who think it’s hilarious to freak out the United States like the so-called “killer clowns” in 2016. Then again, it could be some nefarious foreign government behind the drones. Maybe they started “innocently” by appearing over the Raritan River in New Jersey, then moved onto military complexes, major cities, and an orange idiots golf course. I don’t think they would be gathering intelligence for an invasion, there are much better ways to do that, but they may be scouting potential terrorist targets. A large percentage (though not a voting majority apparently) of the United States and the rest of the world know that form January 20, 2025 until at least January 2027 (if the Democrats are able to take control of Congress in the midterm elections), the United States will be in utter chaos as the patients have been chosen to run the asylum, or more appropriately in this case, the inmates have been given control of not just the prison, but the government as well. 

Regardless, the United States us fucked for at least the next two years. Honestly, if there are extraterrestrials scouting out the United States, they have at least proven that they have a far greater intelligence than the inhabitants of Earth and might actually be benevolent beings who could save us all. Live Long and Prosper! 🖖

This post is brought to you by me being bored at work and having too much time for my mind to wonder about senseless things. Luckily, you will be spared another set of similar musings because I will not be at work today and instead will be going to Dartmouth for my next Botox treatment for my migraines.