Category Archives: Inspiration

‘Tis the Season

I like your Christ,

I do not like your Christians.

Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.

~Mohandas Gandhi

At the beginning of October, Artistry of Male, one of my favorite blogs, not only for it’s beautiful pictures of men, but also for his words of inspiration, wrote a post about his faith, titled, “Another Disclosure – My Religion: AOM SoulFood.”  I hope you will read his statement.  It is very close to my own philosophy on religion.  I may lose some readers for my religious leanings in the following posts, but please remember that I am not proselytizing, merely stating my faith and showing that someone can be devoutly Christian and be gay.  Not all people see Christianity and homosexuality as two things that can coexist, but I am here to tell you that they can.  In this season of giving, fellowship, and peace, please remember what the angels said to the shepherds as they watched their flock on the day of Christ’s birth, “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.” (Luke 2:14)

I am a devout Christian.  Some of you may recognize the following as the Nicene Creed:

I believe in one God, Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible.
And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the only-begotten Son of God, begotten of the Father before all ages;
Light of Light, true God of true God, begotten, not created, of one essence with the Father through Whom all things were made.
Who for us men and for our salvation came down from heaven and was incarnate of the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary and became man.
He was crucified for us under Pontius Pilate, and suffered and was buried;
And He rose on the third day, according to the Scriptures.
He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father;
And He will come again with glory to judge the living and dead. His kingdom shall have no end.
And in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the Creator of life, Who proceeds from the Father, Who together with the Father and the Son is worshipped and glorified, Who spoke through the prophets.
In one, holy, catholic, and apostolic Church.
I confess one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
I look for the resurrection of the dead
and the life of the age to come.
Amen

This is a profession of faith.  My particular “denomination” of Christianity does not recite the Nicene Creed.  We simply have our faith in the Holy Trinity: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.  For me, I believe that if you follow the basic tenements of all faiths Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you, then you will be rewarded in the next life, whether that life is a an eternity in Heaven, reincarnation, reaching moksha or other form of enlightenment, or being forever remembered by your ancestors.  In America we are blessed to live in a country where we are all free to worship our own faith, or no faith at all.

I am writing this post because often I am irreverent (sometimes borderline sacrilegious), especially in my other blog, but I have no doubt about my faith in God.  I strive everyday to treat those around me the way in which I would like to be treated.  I teach my students that intolerance is unacceptable in any form.

What I am about to say is not because I believe I am a messenger from God, merely his humble servant.  When God has sent messengers to earth, he has used some of the most humble of humans.  The young man Joseph sold into slavery in Egypt, who God sent to interpret the dreams of the Pharaoh.  The shepherds who in the fields as they watched their sheep who were told of the birth of Christ.  There are many more examples, just remember that messages can come from the most unlikely places.


A Glass Half Full

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By the way, next week is my birthday.  I will be thirty-three years old.  Since last week was Thanksgiving, and this week is my birthday, I thought I would take an assessment of my present situation and remind myself all the reasons I should be thankful.  Hopefully, I will also have some bubbly on my birthday (though I hope it is something better than Ballatore Gran Spumante, like the model above).  I love champagne, sparkling wine, Asti, and prosecco, any of the before mentioned will do (Moët White Star is my favorite).  While in France, I learned the dangers of cheap champagne. (Note: never, ever, ever, and I mean, never, buy a €1 bottle of champagne in France.  It will be the worst hangover you have ever had, no matter how little of it you drink.)

I am certainly glad that a few years ago, I decided to change my attitude about life and become an optimist.  I keep the motto that everything will work out in the end, because it is God’s will, not mine.  I could easily be a pessimist, like many people I know, including my mother.  I am still in graduate school, though I wish that I were finished by now and if I had not procrastinated and things had not gone against me several times, I might be done by now.  I have a job I really don’t like at a small private academy teaching middle and high school students, with some subjects outside my field and making very little money.  Five days a week, I deal with spoiled brats who have very little respect for elders, and I deal with an administrator who has a completely different philosophy than me when it comes to education.  I have to deal with parents, who think their children do no wrong and that I show favoritism to other kids, which they see as a bad thing unless it is their kid that they see me showing favor to.  Furthermore, my parents know that I am gay and refuse to accept it.  They insist on a total don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t discuss policy toward my sexuality.

So what am I thankful for?  First of all, in this economy, I have a job doing what I love to do: teach.  It may not be a perfect situation and on many days it may be frustrating, but at least it is a job and it is a teaching job. 

Second, even though the income is not great, I found a wonderful little house to rent with a ridiculously low rent from the sweetest landlady who is not nosy in a small town of busybodies.  This also means that I am no longer living with my parents.  I have my freedom to come and go as I please, with no questions asked.  It may not be a lot, but it is something.

I also have a college class that I teach two nights a week that keeps me sane.  My students are older and are an absolute joy to teach.  Even after a long trying day teaching middle and high schoolers, my college class can lift my energy and spirit like nothing else.  I wish everyone had the chance to find that much fulfillment in a job that only takes two and a half hours a week.

Furthermore, though my parents may not like my sexuality, nor fully support it, at least they did not disown me.  They still love me no matter what and maybe one day they will accept the situation for what it is.  Until that time, the don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t discuss policy is working fine as a sort of armistice. At least it keeps questions from being asked all the time.

Also, I have not given up on graduate school.  I will get my PhD eventually, I just have to finish this damn dissertation.  I think I am on the right track finally, and I just need to learn how to manage my small amounts of free time better.  Whether that means working on my dissertation during my planning period at school or learning to get enough sleep.  Maybe I am somewhat caught up on my sleep after this week where I have done a lot of sleeping during my recovery from surgery.

Lastly, since I started my blogs, I have made some wonderful new friends.  Those friends I cherish as much as the flesh and blood friends I know in my personal life.  You guys are just as real to me as those flesh and blood friends (after all, you are made of flesh and blood).  I love hearing from you guys through comments, emails, chatting, text messages.  All of you are dear to me, though some I may not keep in touch with like I should, I still love you guys and think about you.  Thanks for being my friends.

Oh, and one last thing.  I have made it to my thirty-third year (well almost, here’s hoping, LOL).  Now if this just means that I am only a third or a fourth of the way through my life, then I have a long and happy life to look forward to.  So my advice, look at the things you can be thankful for, not what you might find depressing.  Look on the bright side, and be an optimist.


Two Male College Students Break Guinness World Record, Raise GLBTQ Awareness

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The Guinness Book of World Records may have a new entry.

Matty Daley and Bobby Canciello, both gay men, have apparently broken the record for the world’s longest kiss after locking lips for nearly 33 hours. The record was formerly held by Nicola Matovik and Kristina Reinhart, a German couple.

As they said on their website, “After years of fighting bigotry and discrimination, it’s time to put down our words and demonstrate otherwise. When there’s nothing left to say, say it with a kiss.”

While most college students spent their weekend with friends or catching up on homework, Daley and Canciello, both students at The College of New Jersey (TCNJ), stood kissing from Saturday morning to Sunday night. The kiss was streamed live on the Internet, with thousands of viewers watching. Neither Daley nor Canciello ate, slept, sat, or used the bathroom for the duration (and as per official Guinness rules, neither wore adult diapers or sanitary napkins).

Daley and Canciello stood for the entire kiss under a small tent set up in a central part of the TCNJ campus in full view of people passing by. An audience gathered for the “finale” Sunday night, after which Daley and Canciello took a bow.

Officials from Guinness World Records will now review the taped material to determine if the record has in fact been broken. The record would be published in the 2012 print edition of the book, because the 2011 version was just released this month. If entered into the Guinness Book of World Records, the best-selling book series under copyright of all time, Daley and Canciello will be the first same-sex pairing to hold the record for longest continuous kiss.


Those Dark Days

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Chances are that if you are reading this blog, then you are part of the GLBT family and chances are that you have experienced these dark days. Those days when you just want to sit down and cry, or when the only thing that you feel like doing is curling up into a ball and staying in bed.  With Thanksgiving this week in America and the Christmas holiday season just around the corner, many of us will be dealing with our families.  I love my family, so don’t get me wrong, but for me and many GLBT people dealing with family and the questions about your personal life can be very depressing.  I know that I have had these feelings depression and not just at the holiday season and statistics show that most GLBT people experience depression at a greater amount than heterosexual people.  Here are a few of those statistics:

* In a study of depression and gay youth, researchers found depression strikes homosexual youth four to five times more severely than other non-gay peers.

* Gay and lesbian youth are 2 to 3 times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual young people.

* Several studies suggest that gay men, lesbians and bisexuals appear to have higher rates of some mental disorders compared with heterosexuals, although not to the level of a serious pathology. Discrimination may help fuel these higher rates.

* Higher rates of major depression, generalized anxiety disorder and substance use or dependence in lesbian and gay youth.

* Higher rates of recurrent major depression among gay men.

* Higher rates of anxiety, mood and substance use disorders, and suicidal thoughts among people ages 15 to 54 with same-sex partners.

* Higher use of mental health services in men and women reporting same-sex partners.

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The following information is from:

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Depression and mental health among GLBT people

Introduction

Everyone gets sad sometimes, and sometimes it feels worse than at other times. Sometimes people feel depressed or sad because something stressful has happened in their lives–like losing a job or the death of a loved one. Even a good thing can make a person feel overwhelmed if it is stressful enough. And sometimes people get depressed for no obvious reason.

Millions of Americans, both gay and straight, transgender and non-transgender, have emotional or psychological problems of some sort during their lives. While we know that homosexuality, bisexuality, and transgender identity are not mental illnesses, the stresses caused by society’s negative messages, condemnation, and violence can sometimes result in depression and other types of emotional difficulties for GLBT persons.

The research on homosexuality is very clear. Homosexuality is neither mental illness nor moral depravity. It is simply the way a minority of our population expresses human love and sexuality. Studies of judgment, stability, reliability, and social and vocational adaptiveness all show that gay men and lesbians function every bit as well as heterosexuals.

— American Psychological Association

What is clinical depression?

Clinical depression is a medical illness that attacks both the mind and the body. It may be far more complex an illness than most people recognize. Depression can cause significant chemical changes to the brain that may make it difficult for many people to overcome it without some time of professional help or treatment.

Depression is not the same as feeling blue or sad–those feelings are a normal part of life. In clinical depression people feel bad for prolonged periods of time–weeks or months. People who are depressed often find it difficult to concentrate. Sometimes they feel like they are on an emotional roller-coaster, sometimes they have trouble getting sad or anxious thoughts out of their minds, and sometimes they just have no energy at all.

Depressed people sometimes have significant weight changes, either up or down. They may have difficulty sleeping, especially in the early morning. Some depressed people sleep more than usual. Sexual interest may decrease.

Untreated, depression can last for months or even years. It may resolve by itself, but it often reoccurs. With treatment, those who suffer from depression often report significant relief within 4-6 weeks.

“Many depressed people feel that they could ‘snap out of it’ if only they could work things out in their head. That’s unrealistic. Depression is an illness. Just as people with AIDS or cancer cannot ‘snap out of’ their illness, people suffering from depression cannot will themselves to recover.”

~ Peter Shalit, MD, PhD

Is clinical depression treatable?

Clinical depression is readily treatable with counseling and medication. Many people suffer needlessly from depression because they don’t seek treatment. They may feel that depression is a personal weakness, or try to cope with their symptoms alone.

If you are feeling depressed, and have been for over a month, you should consider seeking professional help from a gay-positive (or trans-supportive) therapist, doctor, psychiatrist, or other health care provider. There are plenty of mental and other health professionals who will support you and guide you towards being a happy and healthy GLBT person-you deserve nothing less. If you are looking for a gay-supportive counselor, ask friends for referrals or call a local GLBT-friendly mental health agency.

A study performed by the National Institutes of Mental Health showed that after 16 weeks of psychotherapy, 55% of those with mild to moderate depression reported significant improvement. Different people react in different ways to various types of counseling, but cognitive therapy–in which you learn to recognize and replace depressive thinking–can be particularly effective for people experiencing depression.

When there is a chemical component to depression, antidepressant medication can help to correct the chemical imbalance (low levels of brain serotonin and norepinephrine). People with moderate to severe depression are most likely to benefit and improve from the use of medication. Many different types of antidepressants have been developed-if one doesn’t work for you, another one probably will. Some studies have shown that combinations of antidepressant drugs and good psychotherapy may be the best approach.

Depression and suicide

Sometimes people become so depressed that they think about harming or killing themselves. These thoughts and actions can be “passive”–like not wanting to wake up in the morning or wishing to disappear, as well as “active”–like taking pills, cutting oneself or shooting oneself. When suicidal thoughts or acts are present, it’s a good indication that the person may be struggling with a very serious depression.

If you are thinking about hurting yourself or have laid out a suicide plan, please get help immediately. Call a friend, your doctor or your local crisis telephone service. You are not alone and although it may be hard to imagine right now, these feelings will pass and you will be glad you did seek help. If you’re in King County and want to speak with someone right away, call the Crisis Clinic at 206-461-3222 any time of the day or night.

If you have a friend or loved one who is thinking about suicide, talk to them about it openly and help them get some professional help as quickly as possible. Asking about suicide does not make it more likely that a person will harm themselves–often people find it a great relief to finally have someone to talk to.

Tips for handling depression

  • Try to accept your depression as an illness. You cannot will the depression away.
  • Try to do things that you enjoy–visit friends, get a massage, take a class–to get your mind off what may be contributing to the depression and to focus on things that help you feel better.
  • Delay any big decisions or changes that involve work, love or money until you feel better.
  • It’s common to be forgetful when you’re depressed, stressed out or anxious. Take notes and make lists. Your memory will improve when you feel better.
  • Waking through the night is very common. It’s better to get out of bed until you feel sleepy again. Repeated awakening in the early morning without being able to return to sleep easily is a sign that medical evaluation is needed.
  • Mornings are often the worst time. The day usually gets better towards evening.
  • Avoid being home alone for long periods–the depressive thoughts can get worse when no one is around.
  • Get outside at least once a day for a walk. Light to moderate exercise of any kind can be very helpful to your recovery.
  • Don’t try to “medicate” yourself with alcohol, marijuana or other drugs. These drugs may actually make you more depressed than you were to begin with.

What do if someone you love is depressed

It can be difficult to be around a friend who is depressed. You may feel helpless and sometimes angry, particularly if the person is irritable and doesn’t respond when you reach out. Keep reminding yourself that the person is ill, and doesn’t mean to be hurtful or unresponsive.

You can’t relieve clinical depression with love alone any more than you can cure heart disease or diabetes with just love. People who are depressed need professional help, and some require medication.

On the other hand, social support improves treatment results in many serious illnesses including depression. Reach out to your depressed friend so that he or she knows that you care. Call. Send affectionate notes. Invite the person to dinner, movies, ball games, parties, and other events. But keep your expectations low. Even if your friend doesn’t respond, you can be sure that he or she appreciates your attempts.

Who is at risk for clinical depression?

Clinical depression is similar to heart disease and cancer in that everyone is potentially at risk for each. If you have a family history of one of these illnesses, your susceptibility increases. This explains why some people develop a clinical depression only after a large, stressful event, while others develop clinical depression seemingly out of the blue.

Young adults (18-25) are more prone to depression than people in midlife-perhaps because of the particular stressors of separating from one’s family and learning to live on one’s own. Elderly people also have higher rates of depression than people in midlife.

People who abuse alcohol may become depressed–and excessive use of alcohol often indicates that a person is “self-medicating” a depression. But alcohol and related drugs like valium and barbiturates are themselves depressants, and just make problems worse.

Depression screening questionnaires

This screen questionnaire is not designed to provide an actual diagnosis of depression. For that, you will need a complete clinical evaluation by a psychiatrist or other health care professional.

  1. I am unable to do the things I used to do.
  2. I feel hopeless about the future.
  3. I can’t make decisions.
  4. I no longer enjoy the things I used to find fun.
  5. I am losing or gaining weight.
  6. I get tired for no reason.
  7. I am sleeping too much, or too little.
  8. I feel worthless and unhappy.
  9. I become irritable or anxious.
  10. I think about dying or killing myself.

If you answered yes to 5 or more of these questions, and you have felt this way everyday for several weeks, there is a good chance you are suffering from depression and should see a psychiatrist, a therapist, or other health care professional.

If you answered yes to question 10, you should seek help immediately, regardless of your answer to any other questions.

Click here for another online depression screening questionaire.

LGBT Mental Health Resources:

• GLBT National Hotline: 1-888-THE-GLNH (843-4564)
• Rainbow Youth Hotline: 1-877-LGBT-YTH (1-877-542-8984)
• LGBT Suicide Prevention Hotline: www.TheTrevorProject.org or 1-800-850-8078
• NAMI: www.nami.org or 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
• Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays: www.pflag.org
• Rainbow Heights Club: www.rainbowheights.org
• Association of Gay and Lesbian Psychiatrists: (215) 222-2800 www.aglp.org
• GayHealth.com: www.gayhealth.com
• National Foundation for Depressive Illness: www.depression.org
• Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance: (800) 826-3632 or www.dbsalliance.org
• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: (888) 333-2377 or www.afsp.org


‘Mama Wu’ unlikely hero for homosexuals in China

Wu Youjian, right, chats with another parent of gay child at a recent event at Shanghai Pride, a month-long celebration of gay culture in China's largest city.

Wu Youjian, right, chats with another parent of gay child at a recent event at Shanghai Pride, a month-long celebration of gay culture in China’s largest city.
STORY HIGHLIGHTS

  • ‘Mama Wu’ has earned fame by publicly defending her homosexual son
  • Homosexuals face deep cultural prejudices and pressure to marry
  • About 30 percent of Chinese homosexuals have attempted suicide
  • Although not illegal, homosexual venues regularly shut down in China

Beijing, China (CNN) — When Wu Youjian’s teenage son told her on a spring night in 1999 that he was gay, Wu did something rarely heard of in China.
“I told him, there’s nothing wrong with liking boys and it’s no big deal,” said the 63-year-old retired magazine editor.
Five years later, when her son discussed his sexuality on local television in the southern metropolis of Guangzhou, Wu made another groundbreaking decision. She became what state media calls the first Chinese parent to go on television in support of her gay child.
Zheng Yuantao, 30, knows how lucky he is to have such a mother.
“Many of my gay friends are afraid of going home during holidays, because their parents would ask about girlfriends and press them to get married,” he said.
“I grew up in a very open-minded family,” he added. “I didn’t have too much of a struggle about my sexuality.”
Wu now devotes her time and energy to speaking up for gay acceptance by family and society. Her small frame belies her big role in China’s gay community, where she is affectionately called “Mama Wu.”
She taught herself to use a computer three years ago and now writes a blog that has clocked more than 2.2 million hits. She also tweets frequently, has launched a hotline and founded the country’s first PFLAG – Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays – group in her hometown.

“I just followed my instinct and my love for my son,” Wu said.
For other Chinese parents in her situation, however, instinct usually means a deep sense of shame. Many refuse to face the reality and some sever ties with their gay children. Others scheme to break up their children’s relationships. Some may insist on psychiatric treatments, while others may threaten to commit suicide if their children don’t change.
‘Mama Wu’ inspires other Chinese parents of gay children
“In China, we consider carrying on the family line of paramount importance, but we don’t value the happiness of individuals,” said Li Yinhe, a sociologist with the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences.
Societal pressure cooker
Suicide is high among Chinese homosexuals, Li said, with some surveys saying as many as 30 percent of gay youth attempt to take their lives. That trend mirrors the United States, where a spate of suicides by gay adolescents in recent months has shaken the nation.
Most gay men in China still succumb to social pressure and marry women. It once meant heterosexual marriages, often with children, Li said. Now, gay community activists say a small but growing number of young gay men in big cities are tying the knot with lesbians to both placate families and maintain their lifestyles.
Li conducted China’s first comprehensive surveys on gay men. She published her findings in a 1992 book, which Wu credited for shaping her views on homosexuality.
While society at large has loosened up on homosexuality, Li said, family pressure on gay people remains strong because of deep-rooted Confucian ideas and the government’s one-child policy – making Wu’s words and actions all the more powerful.
“No one would listen to an outsider, but she is not – she is a mother whose only son is gay,” Li said. “Others would wonder, if she can handle it so well, why can’t I.”
It’s not all accolades for Wu, however. Vitriolic attacks often dog her online. On a popular video-sharing site, under a clip paying tribute to her achievements, a recent comment accused her of “leading our youth to a place filthier than a brothel” and “hastening the moral death of our already-sick society.”
Wu brushes such verbal assaults aside. Her son, often a target himself along with Wu, understands why.
“It’s not about how many people she can change,” Zheng said. “The important thing is that she is out there helping real people every day.”
Gay venues shut down
Homosexuality is not illegal in China, and in 2001 it was also removed from the country’s list of officially recognized mental disorders. But it remains largely a taboo topic on state-run media.

China mom becomes advocate for gay son
No one would listen to an outsider, but she is not – she is a mother whose only son is gay –Li Yinhe, Chinese Academy of Social Sciences
RELATED TOPICS

Police sometimes shut down gay venues when high profile events are held. Gay rights advocates reported raids on gay clubs, saunas and cruising spots ahead of the Summer Olympics and the annual parliament sessions in Beijing in the past.
Officials have also pulled the plug – often at the last minute – on gay-themed events, including the country’s first gay pageant last January.
Li, the sociologist who also serves as a government adviser, has tried to cement gay rights in Chinese law. She submitted proposals to legalize same-sex marriage in 2003, 2005 and 2006. None have succeeded so far – and she admits her goal probably won’t be realized anytime soon.
“Gays are minorities in society,” she said. “People just don’t think this issue is important enough, compared to national priorities like economic development.”
Wu stresses the social and non-political nature of her activities, highlighting official approval and state media reports in her speeches. Her group also joins the effort in HIV/AIDS prevention, a gay-related cause promoted by the government.
She has picked up pace in spreading the message of acceptance, giving lectures and hosting seminars across the nation.
At a recent PFLAG gathering in Beijing, Wu, sporting a rainbow scarf and speaking in a calm but firm tone, addressed a packed hotel conference room of about 100 people, with her son and his boyfriend in attendance.
Her voice cracked, however, when she mentioned how parental intransigence drove a married young gay man, who had sought her help, to take his life.
“We have to give them hope,” Wu said, quoting iconic gay American politician Harvey Milk.
Wu says she constantly reminds other parents about one basic fact.
“It doesn’t matter if our children are gay or straight – just like it doesn’t matter if they are left-handed or right-handed,” she said. “They are always our children.”
Thousands of blog posts and phone calls later, Wu has compiled her stories in a new book – titled “Love Is the Most Beautiful Rainbow” – and vows to continue her effort.
“I have only one child, but so many call me Mama,” she said.
 
This article was originally written and published by Steven Jiang, CNN on November 16, 2010 1:36 p.m. EST


Blanche DuBois

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Sometimes I feel like Blanche DuBois in Tennessee William’s A Streetcar Named Desire when Blanche is led off to a mental hospital by a matron and a kind-hearted doctor. After a brief struggle followed by the administration of a sedative, Blanche smilingly acquiesces as she devolves into her fantasy life, addressing the doctor with the most famous and poignant line in the play:

‘I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.’

Thank goodness that strangers can be occasionally kind.  It is one of the great things about living in the South.  We are so often taught to be hospitable that it eventually wears off on most of us and being kind comes as second nature.  So commit a random act of kindness today and make someone’s life a little better for just a moment at least.

(Yes, I realize that this message is not in the context of the play in the least, but it is one of my favorite lines in any movie or play.)


Stop the Carnage

Remembering Brandon Bitner (1996 – 2010)  
Brandon Bitner was buried on Wednesday, November 10.  The 14-year-old high school freshman from rural Middleburg, Pennsylvania committed suicide by running into the path of a tractor trailer. He left a note that he wanted to draw attention to bullying.  Brandon was a talented musician, who aspired to be a classical violinist. According to the note, he was tired of being called “faggot” and “sissy.”   According to his mother, Tammy Simpson, “He was the most wonderful child anyone could ask for.”

“We need to stop the carnage of gay teen suicides,” said Malcolm Lazin, Executive Director, Equality Forum, a national LGBT civil rights organization headquartered in Philadelphia.

In October 2010, Tyler Clementi, a Rutgers University freshman who committed suicide by jumping off the George Washington Bridge, brought national attention to the epidemic of gay teen suicides that resulted from bullying.  It is estimated that about 500 gay teens each year or 40 gay teens per month take their lives as a result of homophobia.

“In most public, middle and high schools, homophobic taunts are hurled without any disciplinary action,” stated Lazin.  “Sticks and stones will break your bones, but names can really harm you.”

Currently, there are two bills in Congress, the Safe Schools Improvement Act and the Student Non-Discrimination Act.  “Preventing bullying is a non-partisan issue,” said Lazin.  “Congress needs to unanimously pass the Safe Schools Improvement Act and the Student Non-Discrimination Act to make resoundingly clear that our nation demands safe schools for all children.”

Equality Forum produced the documentary film “JIM IN BOLD” (www.jiminbold.com) about the impact of homophobia on gay youth. The film centers on James Wheeler, a 19-year-old talented youth who committed suicide.  Jim was surrounded in his high school’s locker room and urinated on. There was no disciplinary action. The award-winning film has been screened at over 50 film festivals and at the annual meetings of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and the American Psychiatric Association.


Veterans Day

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John McCrae: In Flanders Fields (1915)


image Canadian poet John McCrae was a medical officer in both the Boer War and World War I. A year into the latter war he published in Punch magazine, on December 8, 1915, the sole work by which he would be remembered. This poem commemorates the deaths of thousands of young men who died in Flanders during the grueling battles there. It created a great sensation, and was used widely as a recruiting tool, inspiring other young men to join the Army. Legend has it that he was inspired by seeing the blood-red poppies blooming in the fields where many friends had died. In 1918 McCrae died at the age of 46, in the way most men died during that war, not from a bullet or bomb, but from disease: pneumonia, in his case.


In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on rowimage
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly



Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.



Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.


Veterans Day is an annual United States holiday honoring military veterans. A federal holiday, it is observed on November 11. It is also celebrated as Armistice Day or Remembrance Day in other parts of the world, falling on November 11, the anniversary of the signing of the Armistice that ended World War I. (Major hostilities of World War I were formally ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 with the German signing of the Armistice.)

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Especially, please remember all of the gay and lesbian service men and women who have served and too often died in silence about their sexuality, yet served their country with as much élan as any other soldier.  Hopefully soon, GLBT members of the military can serve openly and we can celebrate their service to the fullest extent of their deserved equality.  We need to rid America of DADT.

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Happy Veterans Day!
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October Is GLBT History Month: Finally

Eleanor Roosevelt
First Lady
b.  October 11, 1884
d.  November 7, 1962
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
image Eleanor Roosevelt transformed the role of First Lady. She served as a diplomat and was a tireless champion of international human rights.
Roosevelt was born into a wealthy family in New York City. Both her parents died before she was 10; thereafter, she moved in with her grandmother in upstate New York. At the age of 15, she lived in England, where she learned to speak French and Italian fluently.
Soon after her return to New York, Roosevelt met her future husband, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, her father’s fifth cousin. Franklin was attending Columbia Law School. The couple married and had six children, five of whom survived infancy. Franklin took his first leap into politics, winning a seat in the New York State Senate. The family moved to Washington, D.C., when he was appointed Assistant Secretary of the Navy by President Wilson.
Life in the nation’s capital kindled Eleanor’s interests in policy making.  She joined the board of the League of Women Voters in 1924 and became involved in Democratic Party politics. In 1928, after her husband was elected governor of New York, she became actively engaged in domestic and international issues. She wrote a syndicated newspaper column titled “My Day.”
In 1933, Roosevelt became First Lady of the United States, a position she held for 12 years. While she assumed traditional duties, she did not allow them to compromise her ideals. In 1939, she announced in her column that she would resign her membership in the Daughters of the American Revolution, after the group refused to allow Marian Anderson, a black singer, to perform in Washington’s Constitution Hall. “The basic fact of segregation,” Roosevelt wrote, “is itself discriminatory.”
While First Lady, Roosevelt developed an intimate relationship with Lorena Hickock, a journalist who covered the White House. The relationship lasted for the rest of Roosevelt’s life.
Eleanor Roosevelt’s commitment to public service continued after her husband’s death in 1945. President Truman named her a delegate to the United Nations, where she was elected chairwoman of the Commission on Human Rights. In that position, she helped draft the influential Universal Declaration on Human Rights. 
Roosevelt was a member of the Board of Trustees of Brandeis University and delivered the school’s first commencement address. She also authored several children’s books. In her lifetime, she received many civic awards and honorary degrees.
Jalal al-Din Rumi
Sufi Mystic/Poet
b. September 30, 1207
d. December 17, 1273
“Only from the heart can you touch the sky.”
image Jalal al-Din Rumi was a poet, theologian and Sufi mystic. He founded the Order of the Whirling Dervishes, a branch of the Sufi tradition that practicies a gyrating dance ritual representing the revolving stages of life.
Rumi was born in the Persian province of Balkh, now part of Afghanistan. Rumi’s father was an author, a religious scholar and a leader in the Sufi movement—the mystical dimension of Islam.
When Rumi was 12, his father moved the family to escape the impending invasion of Mongol armies, eventually setting in Konya, Anatolia, the westernmost tip of Asia where Turkey is today.
In 1231, after his father died, Rumi began teaching, meditating and helping the poor. He amassed hundreds of disciples who attended his lectures and sermons.
Rumi was married and had one son. After his wife’s death, he remarried and fathered two more children. In 1244, Rumi met a man who changed his life. Shams of Tabriz was an older Sufi master who became Rumi’s spiritual mentor and constant companion. After Shams died, Rumi grieved for years. He began expressing his love and bereavement in poetry, music and dance.
Rumi had two other male companions, but none would replace his beloved Shams. One of Rumi’s major poetic works is named in honor of his master, “The Works of Shams of Tabriz.” Rumi’s best-known work is “Spiritual Couplets,” a six-volume poem often referred to as the greatest work of mystical poetry.
In “Rumi: The Book of Love Poems of Ecstasy and Longing” (2003), Rumi expresses his perception of true love. “Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.”
Rumi died surrounded by his family and disciples. His tomb is one of the most revered pilgrimage sites in Islam and is a spiritual center of Turkey.
David Sedaris
Writer/Humorist
b. December 26, 1956
“A good short story would take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized, now, and uneasy with the fit.”
image David Sedaris is an award-winning best-selling author whose short stories depict, variously, the life of a young gay man in 20th century America, the experience of an American living abroad and the comedy of family life.
Sedaris, who was one of six children, was born in Binghamton, New York, and grew up in Raleigh, North Carolina. In 1983, he graduated from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. He began writing and supported himself with odd jobs in Raleigh, in Chicago and eventually in New York. His big break came on National Public Radio, where he read his short stories.
Called the “preeminent humorist of his generation” by Entertainment Weekly, Sedaris is the author of numerous collections: “Barrel Fever” (1994), “Naked” (1997), “Holidays on Ice” (1997), “Me Talk Pretty One Day” (2000), “Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim” (2004) and “When You are Engulfed in Flames” (2008), which was number one on the New York Times best-seller list. He edited a 2005 collection of stories called “Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules,” the proceeds from which benefit a nonprofit writing and tutorial center.
Sedaris is known for his distinctive style, combining elements of memoir, humor and the traditional short story. He is clear that his stories are embellished. “I’m a humorist,” he says. “I’m not a reporter.”
Sedaris is a frequent contributor to the award-winning “This American Life” public radio show. Along with his sister Amy, he is the author of numerous plays written under the name “The Talent Family.” He has been nominated for two Grammy Awards and was named Time magazine’s Humorist of the Year in 2001. In 2008, he delivered the commencement speech at Binghamton University and was awarded an honorary doctorate. 
Sedaris lives in London, Paris and Normandy with his longtime partner, Hugh Hamrick. 
Matthew Shepard
Hero      
b.  December 1, 1976
d.  October 12, 1998
“Every American child deserves the strongest protections from some of the country’s most horrifying crimes.” – Judy Shepard
image As a gay college student, Matthew Shepard was the victim of a deadly hate crime. His murder brought national and international attention to the need for GLBT-inclusive hate crimes legislation.
Shepard was born in Casper, Wyoming, to Judy and Dennis Shepard. He was the older of two sons. Matthew completed high school at The American School in Switzerland. In 1998, he enrolled at the University of Wyoming in Laramie. Soon afterward, he joined the campus gay alliance.
On October 6, 1998, two men—Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson—lured Shepard from a downtown Laramie bar. After Shepard acknowledged that he was gay, McKinney and Henderson beat and tortured him, then tied him to a tree in a remote, rural area and left him for dead. Eighteen hours later, a biker, who thought he saw a scarecrow, found Shepard barely breathing.
Shepard was rushed to the hospital, but never regained consciousness. He died on October 12. Both of Shepard’s killers were convicted of felony murder and are serving two consecutive life sentences.
Despite the outcome of the trial, the men who took Shepard’s life were not charged with a hate crime. Wyoming has no hate crimes law, which protects victims of crimes motivated by bias against a protected class. Shepard’s high-profile murder case sparked protests, vigils and calls for federal hate crimes legislation for GLBT victims of violence.
Shortly after their son’s death, Judy and Dennis Shepard founded The Matthew Shepard Foundation to honor his memory and to “replace hate with understanding, compassion, and acceptance.” Judy Shepard became a GLBT activist and the most recognized voice in the fight for a federal hate crimes bill.
In 2009, more than a decade after Shepard’s murder, The Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act (HCPA) was signed into law. HCPA added sexual orientation and gender identity to the list of protected classes, giving the United States Department of Justice the power to investigate and prosecute bias-motivated violent crimes against GLBT victims.
Dozens of songs have been written and recorded to honor Matthew Shepard’s legacy.  Several films, television movies and plays about him have been produced, including “The Laramie Project” (2002) and “The Matthew Shepard Story” (2002).
Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir
Prime Minister of Iceland
b. October 4, 1942
“Egalitarian policies are the best way to unite and empower people.”
image Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir is the first female prime minister of Iceland and the world’s first openly GLBT national leader.
Sigurðardóttir was born in Reykjavik, where she received the equivalent of a high school diploma from the Commercial College of Iceland. Her first job was as a flight attendant for what is now Icelandair. After six years in that position, she became a union organizer with the airline—a move that served as her entree into Icelandic politics.
Sigurðardóttir was elected to Iceland’s Parliament in 1978. Viewed as a rising star, she was named minister of social affairs in 1987. In 1990, she ran for the top spot in her party, the Social Democrat Alliance. She narrowly lost that race, declaring, “My time will come,” which has become a common catchphrase in Iceland.
In January of 2009, following the collapse of the nation’s economy in the worldwide recession, Iceland’s president asked the Social Democrat Alliance to form a new government, which elevated Sigurðardóttir to the office of the prime minister. At the time of her appointment, she was the longest-serving member of Iceland’s Parliament.
Four months later, Sigurðardóttir’s party, along with its coalition partner, won a majority of seats in the Parliament, handing her a strong mandate to lead Iceland’s economic revitalization efforts and to work toward joining the European Union. While focusing on these important tasks, Sigurðardóttir has not forgotten the value of equity in politics. “A society that does not use the intellectual power of its female population fully is not a wise society,” she says.
Sigurðardóttir was married to a man prior to coming out. She and her ex-husband are the parents of two adult children. On June 11, 2010, by a vote of 49 to 0, Iceland’s Parliament approved same-sex marriage. On June 26, 2010, the first day that legislation became effective, Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir and Jónína Leósdóttir were married. 
Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky
Composer 
b. May 7, 1840
d. November 6, 1893
“Music’s triumphant power lies in the fact that it reveals to us beauties we find in no other sphere.”
image Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky is one of the most popular composers in history. His best-known works include the ballets “Swan Lake,” “The Sleeping Beauty,” and “The Nutcracker”;  the operas “The Queen of Spades” and “Eugene Onegin”; and the widely recognized Fantasy Overture “Romeo and Juliet” and “1812 Overture.”
Tchaikovsky was born in Votinsk, Russia, a small industrial town. His father was a mine inspector. His mother, who was of French and Russian heritage, strongly influenced his education and cultural upbringing.
At age 5, Tchaikovsky began piano lessons. His parents nurtured his musical talents, but had a different career path in mind for their son. In 1850, the family enrolled him at the Imperial School of Jurisprudence in St. Petersburg, where he prepared for a job in civil service.
After working in government for a few years, Tchaikovsky pursued his passion at the St. Petersburg Conservatory. After graduation, he taught music theory at the Moscow Conservatory and worked on new compositions. Tchaikovsky created concertos, symphonies, ballets, chamber music, and concert and theatrical pieces. His passionate, emotional compositions represented a departure from traditional Russian music, and his work became popular with Western audiences.
Despite his career success, Tchaikovsky’s personal life was filled with crises and bouts of depression. After receiving letters of admiration from a former student, Tchaikovsky married her. Historians speculate the marriage took place to dispel rumors that Tchaikovsky was gay. The marriage was a disaster and Tchaikovsky left his wife after nine days.
Tchaikovsky began an unconventional relationship with a wealthy widow, Nadezhda von Mek, who agreed to be his benefactor on one condition: they were never to meet face to face. The couple exchanged more than 1,000 letters, until von Mek abruptly ended their 13-year liaison.
The famed composer died suddenly at age 53. The cause of his death, believed by some to be suicide, remains a mystery.
Rufus Wainwright
Singer/Songwriter
b. July 22, 1973
“It’s important for famous people to be an example for gay teens.”
image Known for his unique style and daring artistic endeavors, Rufus Wainwright is one of the most accomplished singer/songwriters of his generation. He has produced six albums and is the recipient of two Juno Awards and five GLAAD Media Awards.
Wainwright’s musical talent was shaped by his folksinger parents, Kate McGarrigle and Loudon Wainwright III. He was born in Rhinebeck, New York, and holds dual United States and Canadian citizenship. After his parents divorced, he spent most of his youth with his mother in Montreal.
At age 14, Wainwright broke into the entertainment world with a song he composed and sang in the film “Tommy Tricker and the Stamp Traveller,” earning him a Juno Award nomination for “Most Promising Male Vocalist of the Year.” That same year, he was sexually assaulted by a man he met at a bar. Deeply disturbed by the attack, he remained celibate for seven years.
In 1998, following the release of his first album, Wainwright was named “Best New Artist” by Rolling Stone. He composes music for theater, dance and opera, and has contributed to numerous film soundtracks, including “Moulin Rouge” and “Brokeback Mountain.” Additionally, he has acted in “The Aviator” and “Heights,” among other films.
As a collaborator, Wainwright has worked on albums with music greats Rosanne Cash and Elton John. John hailed him as “the greatest songwriter on the planet.” His first opera, “Prima Donna,” premiered in 2009 at the Manchester International Festival and was the subject of a documentary film that premiered on Bravo! in 2010.
Despite fame and success, Wainwright struggled with crystal meth addiction, a habit he eventually recovered from in 2002. With two decades of performing under his belt, Wainwright assures his fans that he won’t be retiring any time soon: “I am a self-sustaining, vibrant, long-term artist, and I’m not going away!” 
Mel White
Minister/Activist
b. July 26, 1940
“I’m perfectly happy going on TV now and saying I’m a gay man. I’m happy and proud to say that.”
image Mel White is an ordained minister who left his career as an adviser to prominent Christian evangelists when he came out during the mid 1990’s. White has dedicated his life to gaining acceptance for GLBT Christians.
In 1962, White graduated from Warner Pacific College. He received a master’s degree in communications from the University of Portland and a Doctorate of Ministry from Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California, where he was also a professor.
Early in his career, White served as a speechwriter for evangelical leaders Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson. He married a woman with whom he had one son. When he realized he was attracted to men, he tried to “cure” his homosexuality with therapy and exorcism.  Acknowledging that nothing could alter his sexual orientation, White attempted suicide.
White ultimately accepted his sexuality and amicably divorced his wife. In 1993, he publicly acknowledged that he was gay when he was named dean of the Dallas Cathedral of Hope of the Universal Fellowship at Metropolitan Community Churches. Two years later, he published “Stranger at the Gate,” a book that chronicles his struggles as a gay Christian.
In the early 1990’s, White shifted his focus to GLBT advocacy, both within and outside of the church. In 1996, White led a two-week fast on the steps of Congress as the Senate considered and ultimately passed the Defense of Marriage Act. He moved the fast to the White House, where he was arrested. “How can we stand by in silent acceptance while the president and the Congress sacrifice lesbian and gay Americans for some ‘greater political good’?” he asked.
In 1998, White and his partner of more than 25 years, Gary Nixon, founded Soulforce, an organization whose mission is to “seek freedom from religious and political oppression” for GLBT people. Its name comes from “satyagraha,” a term meaning “soul force” used by Gandhi in to describe his civil rights struggle.
White is the author of nearly 20 books, including “Religion Gone Bad: Hidden Dangers from the Christian Right” (2009). His story is featured in “Friends of God” (2007), a documentary film about evangelical Christians.
In 2008, White and Nixon were legally married in California. In 2009, White and his son, Mike, were a team on the 14th season of “The Amazing Race.”
Emanuel Xavier
Poet   
b. May 3, 1971  
“Being Latino and gay gives me much to write about. Anything that oppresses us as artists is always great fodder for art.”
image Emanuel Xavier is a poet, author and editor. He is one of the most significant openly gay Latino spoken word artists of his generation. 
Xavier was born in Brooklyn, New York, the child of an Ecuadorian mother and a Puerto Rican father who abandoned the family before his son was born. When Xavier was three, he was sexually abused by a family member. At 16, when Xavier came out to his mother, she threw him out of the house.
A homeless gay teen on the streets of New York, Xavier soon turned to sex and drugs for money. He became a hustler at the West Side Highway piers and sold drugs in gay clubs. After landing a job at a gay bookstore, A Different Light, Xavier began to write poetry and perform as a spoken word artist.
“Pier Queen” (1997), Xavier’s self-published poetry collection, established him in the New York underground arts scene. “Christ Like” (1999), Xavier’s novel, was the first coming of age story by a gay Nuyorican (Puerto Rican living in New York) and earned him a Lambda Literary Award nomination. Fellow author Jaime Manrique said, “Once in a generation, a new voice emerges that makes us see the world in a dazzling new light. Emanuel Xavier is that kind of writer.”
“Americano” (2002), another poetry collection and Xavier’s first official published work, advanced his prominence within the literary community of color. Xavier edited “Bullets & Butterflies: Queer Spoken Word Poetry” (2005), for which he received a second Lambda Literary Award nomination. 
In 2005, Xavier was the victim of a random attack by a group of young men. As a result of the beating, he lost all hearing in his right ear, but continued to write and perform.
Xavier reflects on the assault in his poem “Passage”:

Had they known I was gay they would have killed me
None of my poems about peace and unity
would have kept me whole

Also an activist, Xavier focuses his work on homeless gay youth. He has organized benefits for many organizations, including The New York Pier AIDS Education Coalition, Live Out Loud, and Sylvia’s Place, a shelter for homeless GLBTQ youth.
Xavier has appeared on HBO’s “Russell Simmons Presents Def Poetry” and “In the Life” on PBS. In 2010, his CD “Legendary—The Spoken Word Poetry of Emanuel Xavier” was released to critical acclaim.


Words of Inspiration

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