Category Archives: Miscellaneous

March 25, 2012

Springtime

By Joe

I had planned on writing this post after I got home from church, hoping that something in the sermon would inspire me to write something inspirational. To be completely honest, I was trying so hard not to fall asleep, that nothing really struck me to write about. There was one thing though, as our preacher was praying (he’s a bit long winded at times), we always know when he is nearly finished when he begins to thank God for all of he beauty in nature: trees, flowers, creatures great and small, etc. Since spring is here and the wisteria has been blooming along with the azaleas and other flowers that remind me of spring, I too am thankful of the natural beauty that surrounds us because of God’s blessings.

4 Comments | posted in Miscellaneous

March 22, 2012

Normal?

By Joe

What is normal?  Everyone seems to have their own definition of what makes up normal.  Merriam-Webster defines it as “according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle.” We mean that he or she is like everyone else, behaves as most people behave, and stays within current conventions. The idea of what is normal changes from one decade to another.

Behavior can be normal for an individual when it is consistent with the most common behavior for that person. “Normal” is also used to describe when someone’s behavior conforms to the most common behavior in society. Definitions of normality vary by person, time, place, and situation – it changes along with changing societal standards and norms. Normal behavior is often only recognized in contrast to abnormality. In its simplest form, normality is seen as good while abnormality is seen as bad. Someone being seen as “normal” or “not normal” can have social ramifications, including being included, excluded or stigmatized by larger society.

Although it is difficult to define normality, since it is a flexible concept, the existence of these ramifications also makes it an important definition. The study of what is normal is called normatology – this field attempts to develop an operational definition distinguishing between normality and abnormality (or pathology). The general question of ‘what is normal’ is discussed in many fields, including philosophy, psychology and sociology.

As part of the LGBT community, we are often seen by some as being abnormal, but really that is just an aberration.  Because we are all unique, I don’t think there truly is anything as normal or abnormal.  Teaching high school and college, I’ve known many students who buck the norm.  They want to be different, and they have no desire to be like all of the others.  Our former principal believed that for those who were outside the norm, bullying them back into the fold was natural and worth encouraging.  I, and most of the other teachers, believed that he could not be more wrong.  The uniqueness of students, and people in general, are what makes us such a wonderful society.  We don’t live in a totalitarian society or even a utopia where everyone is the same and there is no reason for normal v. abnormal.  For me, such a society would be a very boring place.  Instead, it takes all of our uniqueness to make the world a better place.  We all have our talents and individuality.

How can we claim that just because someone is different (especially when we are all different in some way) that anything is abnormal?  The definitions of normal and abnormal have long been reasons used for discrimination and hatred.  We all have a little bit of discrimination in us.  We all look at someone and think: they are a bit odd.  Truthfully though, we should embrace those differences and allow the world to be a better place for it.

We should embrace the rainbow of diversity. The use of rainbow flags as a sign of diversity, inclusiveness, hope and of yearning has a long history. This denotation goes back to the rainbow as a symbol of biblical promise. Aside from the obvious symbolism of a mixed LGBT community, the colors were designed to symbolize: red (life), orange (healing), yellow (sunlight), green (nature), blue (harmony), and purple/violet (spirit). Just as one of the most well-recognized symbols within our community denotes diversity, why would we even want a world that was “normal”?

3 Comments | posted in Inspiration, Miscellaneous, Theory

March 21, 2012

Hangovers

By Joe

Sometimes (not often) the hangover is worth it.  I had a great time with a few friends in New Orleans on Monday.  New Orleans is one of my favorite cities, but those hurricanes will kick your ass.  I felt it yesterday morning.  It didn’t help that I had to drive back to Alabama when I got up that morning.  So I felt a bit like the guy in the picture above.  Thank God for Starbucks Vanilla Lattes, LOL.  Oh well, sometimes the hangover is worth it.  There is nothing quite like sitting on a patio in New Orleans having drinks with friends.

4 Comments | posted in Miscellaneous

March 19, 2012

Mimosas and Mame

By Joe

Yesterday, I had a nice relaxing day. Something I have needed for weeks. I am visiting a friend of mine, and we went to brunch after we got up late Sunday morning. After crab cakes, eggs, Cajun potatoes, cheese grits, and mimosas, we decided to head back home, take a nap, then went for sushi for dinner. The food was wonderful, so we decided to make the best of the evening and had more mimosas while watching Auntie Mame, one of our favorite movies.

The movie Auntie Mame is centered on the main character, Mame, an unconventional individualist socialite from the roaring 20’s. When her brother dies, she is forced to raise her nephew Patrick. However, Patrick’s father has designated an executor to his will to protect the boy from absorbing too much of Mame’s rather unconventional perspective. Patrick and Mame become devoted to each other in spite of this restriction, and together journey through Patrick’s childhood and the great depression, amidst some rather zaney adventures.

The movie was based on the book by Patrick Dennis. Patrick Dennis was an American author, whose novel Auntie Mame: An Irreverent Escapade (1955) was one of the bestselling American books of the 20th century. In chronological vignettes “Patrick” recalls his adventures growing up under the wing of his madcap aunt, Mame Dennis. Dennis wrote a sequel, Around the World with Auntie Mame, in 1958.

Throughout his life, Dennis struggled with his bisexuality, later becoming a well-known participant in Greenwich Village’s gay scene.

Dennis’ work fell out of fashion in the 1970s, and all of his books went out of print. In his later years, he left writing to become a butler, a job that his friends reported he enjoyed. At one time, he worked for Ray Kroc, the founder of McDonald’s. Although he was at long last using his real name, Edward Everett Tanner III, he was in essence working yet again under a pseudonym; his employers had no inkling that their butler, Tanner, was the world-famous author Patrick Dennis.

He died from pancreatic cancer in Manhattan at the age of 55 in November 1976.

At the turn of the 21st century there was a resurgence of interest in his work, and subsequently many of his novels are once again available. His son, Dr. Michael Tanner, wrote introductions to several reissues of his father’s books. Some of Dennis’ original manuscripts are held at Yale University, others at Boston University.

2 Comments | posted in Gay Icon, Miscellaneous, Movie Review

March 14, 2012

Elections, Gaydar, Etc.

By Joe

Yesterday was the primary elections in my state.  What an eventful night it was!  First of all, I have never lived just around the corner from the courthouse before, and in a rural town like mine, it is the place to get the local results.  I live less than a block from the courthouse, and it was rockin’ last night.  There were parties all around the courthouse square.

I was hanging out with a friend of mine while her husband was over at one of the election parties.  We decided to drive by the courthouse and see what was going on, when I spotted who I thought was her husband at one of the offices near the courthouse.  She called him, just to see what he was doing and really to check and see if that was him (it wasn’t like he was somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be, she just wanted to make sure that was him).  It turns out that it was him, so we came back by so that we could take him some beer.  We parked and he and another guy walked up to the car.  As soon as the guy with my friend’s husband walked up, my gaydar went off immediately, but I didn’t say anything.  I thought I would see where this was going.  The stranger was quite cute, a bit young (he was 21), and very drunk.  They were talking, and it was quite obvious that he was one of those people who thought he was “someone” mainly because he had family political connections.  In other words, he was a total douche, and I don’t use that word very often.  Once he figured out that my friend was the wife of the guy he had, as I found out later, been hitting on all night, he was not a very nice person to her. Like I said, he was a douche.  It was not a good confrontation since my friends husband did not take well to the fact that he was disrespecting his wife.  Nothing happened, but the guy finally figured out that he had been barking up the wrong tree.

So let me back up a bit and explain what had happened the previous two hours before we got there. Apparently, this guy had become real friendly with my friend’s husband and they had been having a good time.  I suspect the guy is in the closet and has not had enough experience at 21 to hone his gaydar skills, because there is nothing even remotely gay about my friend’s husband.  Growing up in the rural South, you develop a good gaydar so that you don’t hit on the wrong guy, and mine has never failed me.  Though my friend’s husband is quite attractive and has one of the finest butts in the country, if not the state, the stranger had barked up the wrong tree with this one.  My friend got pretty mad about the whole thing until I explained to her that he was obviously a closet case, who was drunk and had been raised to be a prick (this particular political family are all pricks, if I told you who they were you would understand immediately). Once she realized that the real reason that he was rude to her was not because he was looking down on her or anything, but the fact was he had gotten cock-blocked by the wife and didn’t like it.  In fact, he was probably a bit embarrassed.  My friends husband is a bit clueless about these things, but he had never figured out that the guy had been hitting on him for the past two hours.  And if you are wondering what tipped of my gaydar, there were a few stereotypical things about his mannerism, but the fact that he never once looked at my friend, even though he was talking to her, but checking out the husband and then evaluating me to see if I was worth moving on to, but he didn’t get quite that far. Even if I think he could have been a fun little fling, the only thing I would have gotten out of that deal was to be able to say I screwed “insert asshole political family here” instead of them screwing us as they have for nearly twenty years.

Hideous Monument
So that was my interesting night, or sort of interesting.  Not a lot goes on in this town, but I was amazed at how busy the courthouse and surrounding area was tonight.  In other news, I can’t believe that Rick Santorum  won my state’s Republican Primary.  I had thought Newt would have won here.  I voted in the Democratic Primary because of some local races for which I needed to vote for the candidates.  The other things that I cannot understand is that for Chief Justice of the State Supreme Court, the Republicans voted for Roy “the Ten Commandments Judge”  Moore.  First of all, he was the state Chief Justice until he defied a court order about removing that hideous Ten Commandments Monument, and had subsequently been removed from office  for violating federal laws and state ethics codes.  Yet, these dumbass Republicans (sorry if you are a Republican that read this) voted for him again.  I do hope that the Democrats have a viable candidate that can defeat him in the general election.

2 Comments | posted in Miscellaneous, Politics

March 11, 2012

Mothers…Ugh!

By Joe

My mother has a bad habit of driving me crazy sometimes.  She has always been terribly embarrassed that I am gay, and she certainly doesn’t like it because she thinks that I will go to hell because of it.  One day last week, she asked me if a friend of mine knew I was gay.  I told her that she did.  My mother was very upset because she believes that if one person knows, then it will get out.  She doesn’t understand what it means to keep a secret.  She’s never been very good at it herself, but that is a different point.  The discussion, however, led to an interesting point.  I told her that if she understood what the Bible actually says about homosexuality, then she would understand what I believe better.  You know that I believe that what the Bible says does not pertain to modern understandings of homosexuality, and therefore, I don’t think it should be applied.  I asked her if she would read a book about the subject, if I gave it to her.  I am in the middle of reading God vs. Gay?: The Religious Case for Equality, and I want her to read it when I am finished reading it myself.  She has a tremendous interest in understanding and studying the Bible: how the Bible was written? who wrote it? when and how were the books of the Bible chosen? what is the history of the Bible? etc. God vs. Gay?: The Religious Case for Equality, from what I have read of it so far, lays out a well researched and logical argument that there is not a conflict between God and gays.  I do hope that she will read it, and that it will help her to see that I am not doomed to Hell for my homosexuality.  I am a good person, the person who she reared me to be, and I want her to understand that.  I think all of our mothers make us mad at one time or another, but I want a better relationship with my mother. Since I came out to her several years ago, our relationship has always been a bit strained, and I don’t like that.

By the way, even though my blog is called The Closet Professor, I do not actually consider myself in the closet.  I do not change the way I act around people, and those who I feel have the right to know, do know, and those who I feel have no right to know, do not know.  Most of those at the school I teach do not know that I am gay, simply because they would not allow me to teach there if certain people knew.  I can do more work teaching tolerance without publicly proclaiming my sexuality then not having a job and not having the chance to do so. I work each day to teach these kids tolerance.  In the rural South, teaching tolerance is not always an easy job, and it takes time, but with persistence, it will be done.

7 Comments | posted in Miscellaneous

March 8, 2012

Short Post

By Joe

This is going to be a short post for two reasons. 1) I couldn’t think of anything to post on short notice. 2) I have a terrible backache that got worse all day yesterday, and as I was writing this last night, I was laying on a heating pad.  Hopefully, my backache will get better, and I will feeling like posting something for tomorrow.

2 Comments | posted in Miscellaneous

March 5, 2012

Frat Star Fridays!

By Joe

I had planned on writing this post for last Friday, but with everything that was going on, I’m embarrassed to say, that I forgot. However, I want to introduce you to a new blogger, Frat Star. Frat Star has his own blog, A Bi Kid’s Life, along with two other bloggers. After a short hiatus, they are back to blogging. I was introduced to Frat Star’s writing by a friend of mine and have found it a wonderful change of pace. Frat Star also writes for BI LIKE ME every Friday in a segment called Frat Star Fridays. I hope that you will check out his writing because I think you will find it interesting.

On the most recent post by Frat Star on BI LIKE ME, he writes about his relationship with women, and I think that many of us can identify with:

I come from a family of strong women, and that prototype is still sexy to me. To some extent, I wish I was straight just so that I could fall in love with one of these women and learn to grow with them. I understand them. I like them. I just can’t have sex with them anymore, because I’ve found that I connect with men far more. 

It may be a stereotype that gay men like strong women, but where would we be without them.  Many of my greatest friends have been strong women.

Check out Frat Star’s blog, A Bi Kid’s Life, I think that you will enjoy it.  And just a side note, it is apparent by Frat Star’s writing that he is an intelligent young man.  He has a maturity with his language that I wish more people his age had.  It’s very refreshing.

5 Comments | posted in Miscellaneous

February 22, 2012

Red-Faced Jazz

By Joe

A U.K.-based radio station’s programmers are understandably red-faced after they inadvertently aired five minutes of a gay porn soundtrack.

Pink News reports that Jazz FM, which focuses on light jazz, standards and occasional blues numbers, aired a recording of what sounded like “two British men in a mostly wordless, but fairly graphic, exchange” on Sunday.

You can listen to a recording of the broadcast here (WARNING: contains graphic language).

Mike Vitti, the station’s head of programming, has issued a statement apologizing for the gaffe: “Unfortunately we had an unauthorized access to the live feed this evening which resulted in a highly regrettable incident. Please accept our profound and sincere apologies for any offence that may have been caused.”

Mike Vitti, station programme director, said disciplinary action would follow.

A spokesman for the broadcasting regulator Ofcom told PinkNews.co.uk that it has “received a small number of complaints and is currently assessing whether the broadcast broke the Broadcasting Code”. If found in breach, broadcasters can receive a fine or the loss of a license although this is thought highly unlikely in this case.

PinkNews.co.uk wrote that a broadcast assistant was watching pornography while the recorded show was being broadcast and that they accidentally transmitted the audio of the porn to the nation because their microphone was erroneously active.

4 Comments | posted in Funny, Miscellaneous, Music, Uncategorized

February 5, 2012

15 Gay Reasons to Watch the Super Bowl (Not Counting Madonna)

By Joe
From:
John Polly

Editor-at-large, Logo’s NewNowNext.com; co-host, ‘Drag Ya Later with Jon & John

This Sunday brings the Super Bowl, and like many Americans, I will attend a party, watch the mega-spectacle unfold while eating lots, drinking a bit, and hooting and hollering as stuff happens on TV.

Why should you care as a gay person? Why should you watch? Here’s the deal. (Some generalizations will follow. And some X-rated suggestions. Mom, please, don’t read number 6. And yes, I’m skipping Madonna entirely in this equation, to truly make a valid case.)

15. Because gays like sports.

Many gay males enjoy pop divas, theater, watching Toddlers & Tiaras, home decorating, and anal sex. And very, very many gay males also enjoy playing sports, watching sports, talking trash about sports, obsessing about players’ stats, and cheering uproariously for their favorite teams.

Simply put, the old saw that homos aren’t into jock-related things (jock-straps aside) is dated and bogus. And I’m not even talking about lesbians, which is an entirely different article or thesis project on sports history, gender roles, and sexual identity.

14. Because the two quarterbacks are worth watching.

Tom Brady is very, very handsome. Remember all those pics from VMan a few years back? And Eli Manning, though not as Bruce-Weber-ly handsome as Brady, possesses his own dorky cuteness. (They tried to dress him up for Men’s Vogue a few years back. An adorable effort.)

Let’s put it like this. You’re 14 years old and in high school. Brady’s the Big Man on Campus who is your older sister’s boyfriend, whom you follow around like a pup. He’ll be nice of you in front of your sister but never give you the time of day otherwise. Eli, on the other hand, is the approachable jock down the street who’d actually give you a ride home from school, even though you’re in 9th grade and he’s a senior (and All-State!), just because he’s nice (and honestly, not that cool). How can you not love them both?

(At the risk of digressing completely, what is with all of the hot QBs these days? Mark Sanchez. Alex Smith. And can you just imagine how good the searingly studly Aaron Rodgers must smell?)

Also, Brady and Manning are both at the top of their game and completely unpredictable, which makes for a good match, yes?

13. Because a supermodel is pleading for your help.

Brady’s wife, Brazilian supermodel/gazillionaire Gisele Bundchen sent out a mass email asking friends/family/fans to send prayers and good vibes to the powers that be so that her hubby can win the big game. Like, really!

I don’t know about you, but I listen to my supermodels. They know best. And if you disobey, you might get clocked in the head with a pointy cell phone. (JK, Naomi!)

12. Because you’re a snarky media whore (social and otherwise).

Gays love to be all slick and on top of every media moment. The Oscars. Fashion Week. Presidential Inaugural Balls. New Britney demos being leaked. And while we gush about those sorts of things, the Super Bowl really is the big, honking grandmama of all media events, people. Nothing else comes close to taking over all the news, coverage, cultural conversation, ad dollars… Face it, the Oscars are a forlorn, gay stepchild when it comes to the sheer onslaught of 360-degree-medianess of the Super Bowl.

Thusly, your Facebook and Twitter will be exploding. Own it. Instagram pics of mounds of chicken wings. Unleash your wit and gift for pervy sass as the big match rolls on, blinding others with your gift for double entendre and sharp, punny comments.

11. Because you’re an advertiser’s wet dream.

I’m not ashamed to admit I’m excited to see the commericials. Even though I’ve already watched many of the biggies online (part of that aforementioned social media Super Bowl juggernaut), including the return of Ferris Bueller for Honda.

But to add extra gay excitement, we get David Beckham in his undies, adorable John Stamos getting owned by some chick over a bit of yogurt, Sir Elton John in a furry robe and crown, and… doggies and Star Wars!

Also, I must admit, I loooooove the stupid, gratuitous T&A that the GoDaddy ads deliver each year. (I also grew up loving the buxom, hayseed ladies of Hee-Haw and laughing madly to Benny Hill’s antics. What can I say? I like cheese!)

And if you really want to get into a social-media/advertising K-hole, you can point your iPhone at the TV during a number of the ads, use your Shazam app, and you’ll get coupons for free stuff or entered to win cars! Gaaaah! Consume like you’ve never consumed before!

10. Because you like musical TV fare.

The Super Bowl is on NBC this year, so it will be followed by a very special episode of The Voice. (Gay-friendly hottie Adam Levine! Diva/mess extraodinaire Xtina!). And you can be assured that throughout that, NBC will also be promoting the hell out of its new TV series Smash, featuring Grace (Deborah Messing), Anjelica Huston, Broadway musicals, and Marilyn Monroe. Expect random gayish promo-splosions amid the first downs and car ads.

9. Because the Super Bowl is gay-supportive.

Both teams this year hail from states where gay marriage is legal. And according to the gay sports experts at OutSports.com, the N.Y. Giants have sent representatives to queer sporting events (like the “Gay Super Bowl”), and Giants’ owner Steve Tisch released a video supporting gay marriage, as has former Giants superstar Michael Strahan. The owner of the Patriots has spoken at LGBT business and networking events, and players from each team have supported the NOH8 campaigns. Woo-hoo! Go gays!

Also, in a very cool move, fans in Indianapolis’ Lucas Oil Stadium will see a PSA created by GLSEN that features NBA stars Jared Dudley and Grant Hill and targets anti-LGBT language among teens. The PSA will be shown to the 70,000 fans attending the Super Bowl and to the 80,000 watching from the tailgating mania surround the place. Rah, rah, gay!

8. Because you like food.

Over a billion chicken wings will be consumed in the U.S. this Sunday. Which is terrifying (if still kind of tasty). But chances are, you’ll also have a chance to hang with friends with decent palates and food-prep skills, so you’ll be noshing on really good versions of BBQ, chili, hoagies, and sweets and chips and dips for days. And if you follow food mags like Food & Wine or Bon Appetit or sites like Epicurious.com, they’ve been exploding for weeks with a million ideas of great party eats.

Indulge your inner Ina Garten (or Martha or Paula or Giada or whichever culinary idol melts your butter) and turn your kitchen out!

7. Because you like food and you’re twisted.

Ummm… This is somewhat scary, but the freaky and possibly bearishly hot guys behind Epic Meal Time have schemed up this jaw-dropping video about making a disgusting creation called a “Big Dirty Manningwich,” which gets topped with “Brady Gravy.”

Watch, use your filthy mind, and recognize that this video (and its participants) are not very far off from some version of amateur gay bear porn. You could almost just loop the existing soundtrack over another sort of video and you’re good to go. (Did I mention “Brady Gravy?”)

6. And speaking of being twisted…

(Skip this part, Mom.) Maybe you have no interest in football, splashy commercials, chicken wings, gay-supportive sports franchises, or pop divas. You are just a proudly shameless, filthy sex fiend. Go to Craigslist.org for your city. You’ll already see M4M ads looking for willing partners for all flavors of Super-Bowl-themed action. Maybe you just wanna “help out” a party of straight guys as they watch the big game? Maybe you’re a hungry human end zone ready to be violated by an opposing team? Maybe you just like to watch people who like to watch a big game? Maybe you just wanna dress as a maid and… you get the idea.

Also, Grindr and ManHunt will likely be blowing up during this whole thing. Folks drinking early on a Sunday evening. It’s gonna get trashy.

Listen: This. Is. Your. Moment. Sex it up. Go team!

Speed Round!

5. Because there will be puppies.


4. Because there will also be a kitty-cat half time show.


3. OK, how about a puppy and Jimmy Fallon?


2. Because Chaz Bono is into it!

And…

1. Because you love America.

Right?

1.1. Because… Madonna!

Oh, how could I not? Honestly, I’m very excited about the Giants/Patriots match-up. But come on! How can any person with a pulse not be a little curious about what Madonna — arguably, the biggest living pop icon — is going to do at half time? We already pretty much know about the songs (the new one, as well as most likely “Vogue,” “Music,” “Ray of Light,” and possibly “Holiday”) and the guest stars (M.I.A., Nicki Minaj, Cee Lo Green, LMFAO?).

Will she crash and burn? Will it be awesome? At the very least it’ll be dishy, spectacular, overblown, and dish-worthy! (I’m still grinning from the half time show three years ago when Bruce Springsteen [whom I love] slid crotch-first into an onstage camera, putting the entire planets’ collective eyes out with his man-groin.

Still, I can’t help but root for old Madge to pull something off brilliantly. She’s due. And though seeing her pointy mug splayed up live on a 72-inch, HD, plasma screen might be jarring, I’m ready for it.

And, yes… while I’m at it, I am ready for some football.

Now, please pass me some of that “Brady Gravy.”

Truthfully, I personally am not very excited about this Super Bowl.  I only get excited if the Saints are playing, so I have only been excited once, LOL.  However, I will bow to the social pressure and watch the game, really only for the commercials.  After you’ve watched the Super Bowl, what was your favorite commercial this year?


I will be pulling for the Giants because I have a former student in their starting line-up.

3 Comments | posted in Miscellaneous