I’ll admit it, I don’t understand a lot of people. One minute they are friendly, and the next, they won’t even talk to you. It’s always a mystery to me when people seemingly get pissed off at me. I ask myself, “What did I do to make them act this way?” Most people consider me a nice guy who’s smart and kind. I’d do anything for my friends. 

They are those who have a dislike of me from the start, usually either because I’m gay or Southern. You’d be amazed at the number of people up north who discriminate against Southerners. Of course, most people just want to hear my accent and have no problem with me being Southern, though sadly a lot of people hear a Southern accent and think you’re dumb. It’s a bad stereotype. Think of really dumb people in movies or television; they more often than not have a southern accent, though usually a really bad one.

Then, there are the people who you thought were your friend, but as Heidi Klum would say on Project Runway, “One day you’re in; the next day you’re out.” I think those are the ones that hurt you the most. There are few things as devastating as when someone you thought was a friend turns their back to you. As gay people, we often have to deal with this when we come out and you find out who your true friends are. 

Of course, there are also the users. They use you for their benefit and take advantage of your kindness only to turn on you when you say no. I had a boyfriend like that once. He liked me for exactly two things: I had a car that could take him places and the sex. I mostly didn’t mind the sex part, but only liking me because I could drive him places was something I did mind.

Finally, there are the true friends. When you need them, they are always there for you. They are always there with an encouraging word or an ear to listen to your problems. They are there when you just need to gossip but want to make sure no one else will hear what you have to say. Friends, true friends, will laugh with you and cry with you. They’ll give you a hug when you most need it, and when you’re upset and think you just want to be left alone, they realize that you really need someone, even if you don’t think you do.

I’m not sure why this all popped in my mind, but it’s probably because of a few things going on in my life right now that have me perplexed.

For many of us, Memorial Day weekend is about cookouts, sales, watching fireworks, and fellowshipping with family and friends. However, this weekend is supposed to be about honoring those who made the ultimate sacrifice. They gave their lives serving in one of the branches of the U.S. Armed Forces. As a military historian working at a military college, I am very much aware of the sacrifices made every day by military personnel. Historically, LGBTQ+ soldiers have sacrificed even more. For most of the history of the U.S. military, LGBTQ+ soldiers had to be closeted because being “out” wasn’t acceptable. Being outed could have cost them their military career. Many LGBTQ+ soldiers kept their mouths shut and their business to themselves to protect themselves from harm and protect the nation.

In 1982, the U.S. military enacted a policy explicitly banning gay men and lesbians from their ranks. Before that, however, same-sex relations were criminalized and a cause for discharge. And in the early 1940s, it was classified as a mental illness, disqualifying gay men and lesbians from service. In 1993, the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy (DADT) went into effect, allowing closeted LGBTQ+ soldiers to serve in the military. Under the policy, service members would not be asked about their sexual orientation but would be discharged for disclosing it. 

Many LGBTQ+ soldiers were outed as gay or lesbian by fellow soldiers and not allowed to serve. Some soldiers were killed by their fellow comrades while on active duty. If you saw the 2003 film Soldier’s Girl, you are aware of U.S. Army infantry soldier PFC Barry Winchell who was murdered on July 6, 1999, by a fellow soldier for dating a transgender woman, Calpernia Addams. The murder became a point of reference in the ongoing DADT debate. Eighteen years after DADT was enacted, Congress repealed the policy, allowing openly gay, lesbian, and bisexual people to serve in the military.

Another barrier was lifted in 2013 when spousal and family benefits were extended to same-sex married partners in the military. After ending temporarily in 2016, the ban on transgender individuals was again rescinded in 2021, allowing transgender individuals to enlist and serve in the armed forces. It’s been a long journey, but LGBTQ+ soldiers have always been part of the American military. In an era before gay marriage or open pride, military men fell in love, formed passionate friendships, and had same-sex encounters. Due to social and official discrimination, most of the stories of these LGBTQ+ soldiers have gone untold. One famous example was Baron Friedrich von Steuben, a Prussian military man hired by George Washington to whip the Continental Army into shape during the darkest days of the Revolutionary War. He was known for his bravery and the discipline and grit he brought to the American troops. Historians also believe he was gay—and served as an openly gay man in the military when sex between men was punished as a crime.

So, if you have never considered the LGBTQ+ service members who lost their lives to serve a country that didn’t respect them, you should. We shouldn’t take our freedom for granted. It comes with a price tag, and we all need to remember this. As we celebrate another Memorial Day weekend, please note this isn’t just another time to party. Today is a day set aside to remember those who have sacrificed their lives so that we may live and be free, fight against discrimination, and love who we want. These brave, unsung heroes sacrificed the truth of themselves. Let us never forget them.

Be safe, be conscious, be proud, and remember our fallen LGBTQ+ service members who died in times when being “out” wasn’t allowed. Thankfully, things seemed to have changed drastically in the U.S. military. LGBTQ+ service members are able to serve openly and without harassment. While acceptance of LGBTQ+ service members is a relatively new development in the military’s long history, the Department of Defense is committed to maintaining a strong force that reflects the nation’s diversity.

I woke with a terrible migraine yesterday, and sadly, I had to go to work regardless. Thankfully, I was able to leave early and go home to a dark room and my bed. It’s mostly better this morning, but I’m still glad to be working from home today in case my migraine comes back. I’ll still be working, but at least I’ll have the comforts of home. 

Isabella makes for an easy supervisor. She mostly just sleeps close by enough that when she opens her eyes, she can see me. Occasionally, she’ll wake up and walk across my desk to check on what I’m doing. Then, she’ll go back to sleep.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Memorial Day weekend. I have nothing planned for this weekend, but I’d love to be going to a beach somewhere. Alas, that won’t be happening. What are your plans for this holiday weekend?

The week is half over, and we are closer to the weekend. Memorial Day weekend is the unofficial beginning of summer. Many people will be traveling this weekend; I will not. I’m going to stay home and just relax. If I do anything, I might take a hike. 

Not much interesting is going on this week. It’s been just about as boring as it can be at work this week. Today will probably be a long day. I woke up at 3:45 and was not able to fall back to sleep. It might be a struggle to stay awake at work today, but I do have a few things that need to be done, so maybe that will help.

In my personal life, I did have something really nice happen. It was something that has caused some angst, so I’m feeling better about the situation now. On another happy note, my increased medications seems to be helping my migraines and anxiety. Hopefully, this will continue. 🤞 I’m not migraine free, but I have longer amounts of time without pain than I usually do.

There wasn’t much to this weekend. I really didn’t do anything of note. I guess I watched a little TV, though there wasn’t much to watch. Saturday, I had a migraine, so it was a wasted day. Yesterday, I just spent the day with Isabella. I had to do a presentation at one of the local historical societies last night. It went pretty well. The week ahead is a pretty simple one. There’s nothing on my calendar for today nor tomorrow. Wednesday, I’m giving a VIP tour. I have some meetings on Wednesday and Thursday, but nothing else seems to be scheduled. I’ll work from home on Friday and then have a nice three day weekend:

I’m not in the mood to say much today. Thankfully, I am working from home. Yesterday was rough. Work was awful; I had a migraine; and I received some heartbreaking news. I’d like to just be in the fetal position all day, but I actually do have to work when I’m home, not to mention I have some work that needs to be done today. 

Work has become somewhat intolerable, which became all the more evident yesterday. I like my job but hate going to work for a variety of reasons that I can’t seem to fix. I’m actually looking at jobs elsewhere. I like where I live in Vermont, and I have grown to really like Vermont as a whole. But, it may be time to move on to bigger and better things. 

There are at least two that I think I’d be an excellent candidate for: one in Boston and another in New York State. I’d take the one in New York if the salary is good, but the salary was not listed in the job description, which is so aggravating . The one in Boston pays about twice what I’m currently making, and I’d take it in a heartbeat if offered. I think I’d really like living in Boston. The one in New York is not too far from New York City, so that would be nice too.

It’s been quite a roller coaster week. I’m just glad Friday is here and I have the day off. Tonight I’m going out to dinner with a friend and possibly a drag show. I didn’t sleep well Wednesday night, and I’m going to take today to recover and tonight to try and get my mind off things that have been weighing on me.

I was sitting in bed last night trying to think of something to write about for today. I came up with nothing. I’ve had other things on my mind this week (both personal and professional), and they are not anything I want to discuss. Let’s just say these issues are occupying and monopolizing my thoughts. I was awake at 3 am and couldn’t get back to sleep because my mind refused to settle down. I’ll probably crash this afternoon while at work, but there’s not much I can do about it. Other than that, I just don’t have anything more to write about today.

After a week and a half of a fairly unproductive vacation I have to return to work today. Because of a number of reason, this wasn’t a particularly relaxing vacation. My doctors appointments Monday and yesterday will hopefully prove productive. Some of my medicines have been changed up. I hope the increases in dosage will both help my migraines and my depression which has been increasing lately. We’ll see how things go. For now though, it’s back to work. I still have some vacation time I still need to take, so it won’t be completely back to my regularly scheduled programming.

If Susan had not emailed and reminded me, I’d have totally forgotten to post anything today, and apparently, I forgot to post a Pic of the Day. Originally, the Star Wars pic yesterday was supposed to be my Pic of the Day, but I really didn’t have much to say yesterday, so I made it my main post. I guess I then forgot to schedule anything for that evening. I know I’d thought about it, but there was an issue with my morning post, so I guess I got sidetracked. 

Anyway. This is one week that I’m not thankful it’s Friday because that means my vacation is almost over. I have Monday and Tuesday off, but I have doctor appointments on both days: my neurologist and a general checkup with my very hot regular doctor. Anyway, it’s all good. While today is going to be another cloudy day, it looks like we might have a nice weekend.