I was supposed to be going to New Queers Eve (NQE) tonight with friends; however, because of the Omicron variant of Covid-19 and rising case numbers, NQE has been postponed until March 4. That means it will be about two weeks after Winter Is a Drag Ball, which has “The Good, The Bad, and The Fabulous” as its theme in 2022. For that, I have an outfit, and with just over two months until the postponed NQE, I should have an outfit figured out for that one too.
Since I will not be going out tonight, I’ll ring in the New Year with Isabella, but she won’t be getting any champagne, although she might get a kiss if she lets me give her one. I am sure by midnight, she’ll be sound asleep, or she’ll be pestering me to go to bed. She doesn’t like me staying up late, which may have everything to do with me sleeping later when I do stay up, and if I sleep later, then she gets fed later. She expects her breakfast no later than 5:45 am, but earlier if possible.
If you do end up going out tonight please be careful. If you don’t know the vaccination status of everyone, and probably even if you do, please wear a mask. Have fun if you do, and I hope you get a kiss from someone you love or just someone you want to make out with or someone you want to be your first fuck of the year. I’ll live vicariously through y’all.
Ever since I was a teenager, I have often thought how much simpler my life would have been if I’d been born a female. Just because I say that does not mean I actually wanted to be woman. I love having a penis way too much to want to be anything but a man. However, as a teenager, my parents expected me to play sports because I was a boy. I hated playing sports. My personality did not mesh with the guys who loved playing sports. I was competitive in academics, but I cared nothing about being competitive in sports. I also was not athletic in the least. I was uncoordinated and sports did not come easily to me. My sister on the other hand loved sports. She was very athletic, or at least tried to be, but she was never expected to play sports. So, I always thought, “Wouldn’t it be easier if I was a girl?”
Furthermore, whether I understood it or not, I found myself more attracted to guys. I always had “crushes” on other guys, even though I always fooled myself by saying I admired their physique or their athletic abilities. I even admired how they seemed more confident, though I now know they were not as confident as they seemed. If I’d been born female, my attraction to men would have never been thought about twice.
As I got older and had to go dress more formally, I hated wearing a tie. Women never have to wear a tie. Also, there are always events where it’s never clear how formal a man should dress. For example, Friday night is New Queers Eve in Burlington. I have been trying to figure out what to wear. If I were a woman, I could always wear a LBD, little black dress. I could wear more formal jewelry and look more formal. However, as a man, it’s not such an easy thing. I thought I had one possible outfit, but decided that I just didn’t like it.
I know that it’s not as simple as I have stated. I know that there are expectations of women that there aren’t of men. I also know that deciding what to wear is not as simple as I made it sound. I’ve known far too many women to actually believe that. I’ve also known a fair amount of women who have thought, Wouldn’t it be easier if I was a boy?” I guess it’s all just a case of “the grass is greener on the other side.”
I hope everyone had a good Christmas. Mine was good. I woke up and made breakfast: scrambled eggs, grits, and biscuits. I opened the gifts my mother sent me after I had breakfast. She sent me two nice sweaters. Thankfully, she didn’t have them monogrammed like she did last year. I watched some television and played some Christmas music before I started making lunch. I cooked an already sliced turkey breast, cornbread dressing, and butter beans. It was a simple meal, but it was all I required. I had ice cream for dessert. I watched one of my favorite holiday movies, Holiday Inn, during the afternoon. It’s a movie of its time, and some scenes are problematic, but I enjoy most of the music. For dinner Christmas night, I took the leftover dressing and the sliced turkey and rolled the dressing in the turkey. I then poured the leftover gravy over the turkey and dressing “rollups.” They were delicious. After dinner, I watched White Christmas, another favorite holiday movie of mine. On Christmas Eve, I’d watched my “must watch” holiday movie, Christmas in Connecticut.
Yesterday, I drove down the West Lebanon, New Hampshire to do a little shopping. I sometimes prefer to go down there because New Hampshire doesn’t have sales taxes. At least it afforded me time to let the ice that covered my car because of the freezing rain on Christmas to melt. I hate freezing rain. It leaves a layer of ice that’s always a pain to get off my car. Plus, everything outside was also covered in ice. After I had lunch and did my shopping, I realized that I had a bit of a headache and it seemed to be getting worse. By the time I got back home, I had a full blown migraine. I spent the rest of the day either sleeping or lying down watching television. Eventually, I just went to bed early.
Early one May at the North Pole, one of Santa’s reindeer gave birth to a little reindeer. When the little reindeer stood for the first time, he fell forward, directly into a pile of glitter meant for Santa’s toy shop. Everybody laughed at the little fella when he stood back up on shaky legs and his nose was covered in glitter. His mother decided then that she would name the boy Glitzen a portmanteau of her father Blitzen’s name and the glitter he fell into. As Glitzen began to grow, everyone noticed that his nose continued to sparkle. It seemed he never could get rid of all of that glitter that was his first encounter in this world.
All of the boy reindeers used to laugh and call him names. Glitzen knew he was different. Instead of playing reindeer games with the other bucks, he preferred to prance and dance around with the does. He always had a great time with the young does, and he always felt more conformable with them. They never laughed and called him names, and he always seemed to have the best ideas on how to make the does more fabulous. Glitzen had a natural instinct for fashion and decorating. He knew just how to make anyone and everything seem more fabulous. The young bucks refused to have anything to do with him. His parents loved him, but his father was always a little embarrassed by his son. His mother knew her son was different, but she loved how confident he was in himself, even when the other reindeer bullied him.
One year, the world seemed especially gloomy. A pandemic had swept over the Earth. Santa’s elves just didn’t have the spark they usually had. The toys didn’t sparkle, and the wrapped packages were drab. Santa was so disappointed, but he understood that when the world was gloomy, the North Pole was always gloomy as well. Everything in Santa’s Village at the North Pole fed on the energy of the world. When the world was unhappy, Santa’s Village was unhappy too. Santa was blue too, but he tried to keep his spirits up for all those at the North Pole. Santa decided to walk around his Village to try to cheer everyone up and maybe get some spark back around the place.
As Santa walked around, he noticed that the reindeer were not playing any games, just moping around. The elves had no pep in their work making toys, and it showed with the toys they were making. As Santa continued to walk around he heard laughter and singing from somewhere. Santa immediately perked up because someone was obviously having fun. Santa followed the sound to see where the joy was coming from. He entered the barn to see a fabulous sight, a group of young reindeer were dancing and singing. It looked like they were being led by a young reindeer with glitter on his nose and a string of lights in his antlers. The young buck’s bells were making the most wonderous noise, and all seemed to be enjoying themselves.
Santa said, “Everyone outside and in the toy shop were so gloomy, what happened in here to make everyone so festive?” All of the reindeer just laughed and pointed to Glitzen. Santa said, “Glitzen, my boy, how are you able to be so cheerful when everyone else is so gloomy?”
Glitzen looked at Santa and said, “Santa, we can’t all be gloom and doom. Someone has to get the Spirit of Christmas in the air. A little glitter, some lights, and bells can make the world a bit merrier again. I just wanted to show everyone that we need a little Christmas right now.” Then, Glitzen began to sing:
Haul out the holly Put up the tree before my spirit falls again Fill up the stocking I may be rushing things, but deck the halls again now.
For we need a little Christmas, right this very minute Candles in the window, carols at the spinet Yes, we need a little Christmas, right this very minute Hasn’t snowed a single flurry, but Santa dear we’re in a hurry.
Santa joined in singing:
I need to climb down the chimney Turn on the brightest string of lights I’ve ever seen Slice up the fruit cake It’s time we’ve hung some tinsel on the evergreen bough.
Before anyone realized what was going on, the cheer seen in the barn had spread throughout the North Pole. Everyone began to sing:
For I’ve grown a little leaner, grown a little colder Grown a little sadder, grown a little older And I need a little angel sitting on my shoulder Need a little Christmas now
For we need a little music, need a little laughter Need a little singing ringing through the rafter And we need a little snappy, happy ever after We need a little Christmas now.
When the song died down, Santa said, “Yes, we do need a little Christmas now. Glitzen thank you for bringing Christmas cheer back to the North Pole. We need to spread this through the whole world. Glitzen, can you do two things for me?”
Glitzen said, “I’ll do anything I can Santa. What do you need me to do?”
“Glitzen, I need you to help get the elves and the other reindeer in the Christmas spirit again,” said Santa. “Then, on Christmas Eve when I go out to deliver presents to all the boys and girls, I need you to spread this Christmas spirit around the world. People may be on lockdown or quarantined. They may be away from their family for the first time, but they need to know that the joy of the Christmas season can still be felt. We can’t let this pandemic get us down. Will you do that for me, Glitzen?”
Glitzen nodded his head, and he and the girls began to go around covering everything with glitter and tinsel. They sang Christmas songs to get everyone back in the mood for a joyous Christmas. All of the young reindeer, including the young bucks who’d made fun of Glitzen, got into the spirit. The elves had their spark back and the toys shone with glee. The packages they wrapped under Glitzen’s direction were some of the most fabulous to ever come from the North Pole.
On Christmas Eve, Glitzen led Santa’s sleigh spreading glitter and joy throughout the world. While the world still woke up to a pandemic on Christmas Day and many were still separated from each other, there was a new cheer in the world, a fabulousness that it thought it had lost. The Christmas lights on the trees seemed to sparkle just a little more brightly that morning. The tinsel seemed to almost glow on the trees. People went to their windows and threw open the sash. They all sang in unison, no matter their language. They sang “Santa Baby,” “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” and “All I Want for Christmas is You.” It was a gay old time and the most fabulous Christmas anyone could imagine.
Santa and all the reindeer congratulated Glitzen on not only being the most fabulous reindeer of all, but for making it the most fabulous Christmas of all.
Merry Christmas, Everyone!
May you all have a fabulous Christmas, too, and if you wake up with a bit of glitter everywhere, then maybe Glitzen has been with Santa to your house this year.
P.S. I know this is a silly story, but I was listening to “Rudolph, the Red Nose Reindeer” on the radio, and I thought of the words, “All of the other reindeer, Used to laugh and call him names, They never let poor Rudolph, Join in any reindeer games.” How many of us growing up as little gay boys had others laugh and call us names? How many of us were never allowed to join others in their games? Rudolph could have been many of us growing up, but instead of having a red shiny nose, ours was a metaphorical glittery nose. We are all fabulous in our own way, and it’s time we recognize just how fabulous Christmas is because of all the gay people out there.
Yesterday was a busy day, and by the time I was able to stop and write my post for today, it was nearly 11 pm, well past my usual bedtime on a work night. I’d planned to write my post earlier in the day because I had finally remembered what I had planned to write for Thursday’s post. However, I was busy yesterday morning at work and couldn’t work on it then, and I took yesterday afternoon off to run some errands. The errands took longer than I had expected and by the time I got home, it was time to cook dinner.
I’d found an interesting recipe for Wintertime Braised Beef Stew that I wanted to try out. It was a unique take on beef stew and I thought I’d try it. I’m always trying to improve on my recipe, but I think I’m going to give up on that quest. My simple beef stew recipe from my mother is still the best. Stew beef, potatoes, carrots, and onions cooked in a rich beef stock is far better than anything else I’ve tried. I know some people add celery, but I use celery salt because I hate cooked celery. Other people add peas at the end, but I’m not a fan of that either.I’ve read a few recipes that use red wine to make the stew richer and more robust in flavor. I tend to think it makes it too robust. The one thing I have found that I just can’t handle is putting tomatoes in a beef stew, like the recipe for the Wintertime Braised Beef Stew called for. I do flour and season the stew beef before browning it, which makes for a thicker broth, and honestly, the simple tried but true recipe is still the best.
Anyway, I’ve had a few ideas for posts that I’ll write for next week. I hope y’all will enjoy them. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. Until then, I hope all of you have a wonderful Friday and a good weekend.
Yesterday afternoon, I was sitting at my desk, and I thought of a great topic to write about today. Then I got distracted, and for the life of me, I can no longer remember what I had wanted to write about. I guess it must not have been such a “great” topic after all. I was the only person at work yesterday afternoon, so I had plenty of time to think considering that I nothing much else to do. I should have written it down as soon as I thought about it so I’d have a reminder, it for whatever reason, I didn’t do that. I often write things down or email a note to myself as a way to remind me of my thoughts. I hate thinking of something and then forgetting it because I didn’t make a note of it.
Back when I was writing my dissertation, I’d lay down to go to sleep and think of the research and reading I’d done that day and some of what I had written, and sometimes in that process, I’d have a brainstorm or I’d think of a particular sentence I’d like to add. The first few times that happened, I’d think to myself that I’ll remember that in the morning. Then, when the morning came, I’d have forgotten all about my thoughts the previous night. From then on, I’d keep my laptop or a notebook beside my bed, so when inspiration struck, I’d immediately write it down. When I’d get up the next morning, there it would be waiting to remind me of what I wanted to incorporate into my dissertation.
Another good reason that I took notes late at night or even when I send emails to myself with my notes is that sometimes I realize the next day that it really wasn’t that great of an idea. Once I’d sleep on a topic or a note, I often rethink what I’d thought the night before. Sometimes those ideas just got discarded, but other times I’d be able to improve upon my earlier brainstorm. Just because you have a “great” idea one minute doesn’t mean that it is actually a great idea a few minutes or hours later. Whatever I decided to do with whatever notations I’d made, was a great experience for editing my work, even before I’d written it.
For my birthday, a friend took me to lunch at a place in Burlington that usually has excellent lobster bisque. I have to admit, yesterday’s bisque was not the best I’ve had, but it was tasty enough. For my entrée, I got their shrimp scampi, or at least that’s what they called it in the menu. Scampi should be a sauce of garlic, olive oil, butter, white wine, a touch of lemon, and parsley often served over linguine. This shrimp scampi was not any of that by any stretch of the imagination, except the overcooked linguine. Their “scampi” sauce was more of a lemon cream sauce with baby spinach and diced tomatoes. I don’t mind a lemon sauce. In fact, I love piccata, chicken or veal, but if you’ve ever made piccata you know that if you use too much lemon and cook it too long, it becomes bitter and overpowering. This “scampi” was bitter and overpowering. At least the shrimp tasted okay. After eating the “shrimp scampi” I turned down dessert. Besides, they didn’t have any kind of cake.
The best thing about the restaurant (besides being there with my friend) was the bartender/host who seated us. He was wearing a pair of khaki pants that left little to the imagination. He definitely had the kind of cake I wanted for my birthday, LOL. It was fun following him to our table. I definitely had some naughty thoughts about that man. He also had short but stylish light brown hair and the most beautiful blue eyes. He kept smiling at me, but I think he was just being friendly, or he could have overheard me tell my friend, “Now, I’d like to have him for my birthday.” I said it after he seated us and walked away but you never know. I’d have been mortified if he had heard me.
I tried to do a little shopping but the stores were so crowded, I just couldn’t handle it. I have never really enjoyed crowds, the only exception is when it’s a crowd of gay men, but even that makes me nervous, especially if I’m by myself. After entering two stores that were so crowded you could barely get around, I gave up and went to Starbucks for my free birthday beverage. This time of year, they always have the caramel brûlée latte, which is my favorite, though I get extra shots of espresso because otherwise it’s too sweet.
I’d considered going out for a birthday dinner, someplace with good cake for dessert. However, the lunch didn’t set well with me, so I had something light at home and had a glass of ginger ale. I have to go back to work today, and honestly I wish I had the rest of the week off, but I have to return at some point.
There is a lot to be thankful for. I have a much more open and honest life in Vermont as an out and proud gay man. I don’t have to constantly hide in the closet like I was forced to do in Alabama. I have some wonderful friends. One such friend is Susan. I don’t know what I’d do without her love and support. She’s been there for me when I need someone the most. I’m also thankful for all my blog friends out there. As long as you keep reading, I plan to keep writing. I’ve made some really wonderful friends through this blog. While I may complain about my job sometimes, I love what I do. I am very thankful for leaving full-time teaching to be a museum professional. I love working in the museum world, and I wish I could have discovered that earlier in my life, but I am thankful I have found it now. I am also thankful for my faithful companion, my beautiful Isabella. She brings me so much joy.
I’m also thankful for the beautiful meal I am preparing today: roast chicken (I prefer chicken to turkey), cornbread dressing, potatoes au gratin, collard greens, and/or butter beans. I know I’ll roast the chicken, make the dressing, and at least one of the vegetables. I haven’t fully decided. I also made a cranberry, apple, and pineapple dessert with a hint of vodka. Yum! I hope it all turns out like I want it to.
What are you thankful for on this Thanksgiving holiday? And what are you planning to eat today?
We always have the option to look at this world as a glass half full or a glass half empty. It’s in my nature to look at the world as a glass half empty, but I try to be more positive and optimistic. We could dwell on a pessimistic view of our lives and the world that surrounds us, or we could look at what surrounds us and be thankful for what we have. Thursday is Thanksgiving in the United States, and this week I want to dwell on what is good in my life.
There are basically four types of people in this world: cat people, dog people, those who like cats and dogs, and those who don’t like pets. I fall squarely in the cat people category. I do not like dogs. Sometimes, I can tolerate them, but they still make me nervous. I have been afraid of dogs most of my life. I was traumatized by one as a child, and I’ve never been able to get over it. I don’t like dogs. I don’t like the way they smell. I hate to hear them bark. I can’t stand for one to lick me or slobber all over me. I absolutely despise when I tell someone I don’t like dogs and have been afraid of them since I was a child and they to respond, “Oh, but you’ll like my dog. He’s so sweet and lovable.” No, I am not going to like your dog. I may tolerate him, but I’ll never be comfortable around him. I just wish people could understand that and not get offended. I had a boss once that found it hilarious that her dozen little dogs would jump all over me, and she was convinced that her dogs were the exception to my feelings about dogs. They were not, and it was absolute torture every time I had to go to her house. So, as the sign below says, “NO DOGS, NO NOT EVEN LITTLE ONES.”
Cats are a different story. I love cats.I don’t think they smell at all, and if you take care of their litter box (or have an automatic one like I do) it won’t smell. The noises cats make are nowhere near as annoying, and a cat’s purr has been found to have a calming effect on humans. Most won’t lick you or slobber on you. Sometimes, they cuddle with you, and sometimes, they just do their own thing. For someone who enjoys their solitude, a cat can be a perfect companion because they often like their solitude as well. Isabella is not one to cuddle, but my previous cat Victoria was. Sometimes, I wish Isabella cuddled more, but cats always have their own personalities, occasionally multiple ones in the course of five minutes. One pet or scratch too many and you’ll know it. For me, that’s all part of their charm, and once you know a cat, then you can see when their mood has changed.
Joe
The Closet Professor 