Category Archives: Nudity

October’s Opal

081110bend October’s Opal by Robert Savino
October is here, once again,
barely transcending the threshold of autumn.
The maple is turning yellow to orange, to red,
soon to be bared by winter.

Ah winter, when blankets of bliss
cover spoon-fit bodies,91178113547390998
flickering sparks to flames. . .
until love of spring gardens
becomes the rapture of summer bloom.

And looking from outside-in,
beyond recognizable beauty,
the ruby of jewels glows bright,
pumping currents of rivers red,
deep into the wells of every extremity.
Our chest fills with laughter.
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When apart, even so brief,
this season stays with you,
whether I am or not
and your voice with me,

through wind’s immutable breath.


Autumn Fires

100 Bonfires always remind me of fall.  The big bonfire before the homecoming game.  Sitting around a bonfire telling stories.  Ghost stories around the campfire.  All these things remind me of autumn.  I just never got the chance to run around them naked, what about you?  Do bonfires remind you of autumn?  Have you ever run around one naked.
 
Autumn Fires
Robert Louis Stevenson (1913)

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  And all up the vale,
From the autumn bonfires
  See the smoke trail!
Pleasant summer over
  And all the summer flowers,
The red fire blazes,
  The gray smoke towers.
Sing a song of seasons!
  Something bright in all!
Flowers in the summer,
   Fires in the fall!
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Hey Guys: An Update

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Thanks for all the well wishes as I have been recovering this week from my surgery.  I am finally truly feeling better.  I had abdominal surgery to fix an umbilical hernia, which if you have ever had abdominal surgery you know that the pain feels like you are constantly being kicked in the balls.  Yesterday was a bit rough because I still had a lot of swelling and therefore could not eat much.  Plus, I found out the pain medicine was giving me terribly headaches, so I quit taking it, as it wasn’t helping a whole lot anyway.  The swelling seems to have gone mostly down and I am at least able to roll over on my side and flex my abdominal muscles again (the last part important for being able to get my rocks off and have a wonderful orgasm after holding it for several days, LOL).  Thanks again for all of your well wishes, I will try to answer some of my comments and emails tonight and tomorrow.


William Blake’s To Autumn

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To Autumn

William Blake (from Poetical Sketches, 1783)

O Autumn, laden with fruit, and stain’d
With the blood of the grape, pass not, but sit
Beneath my shady roof; there thou may’st rest,
And tune thy jolly voice to my fresh pipe,
And all the daughters of the year shall dance!
Sing now the lusty song of fruits and flowers.

“The narrow bud opens her beauties to
autumn4The sun, and love runs in her thrilling veins;
Blossoms hang round the brows of Morning, and
Flourish down the bright cheek of modest Eve,
Till clust’ring Summer breaks forth into singing,
And feather’d clouds strew flowers round her head.

“The spirits of the air live in the smells
Of fruit; and Joy, with pinions light, roves round
The gardens, or sits singing in the trees.”
Thus sang the jolly Autumn as he sat,
Then rose, girded himself, and o’er the bleak
Hills fled from our sight; but left his golden load.


Those Dark Days

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Chances are that if you are reading this blog, then you are part of the GLBT family and chances are that you have experienced these dark days. Those days when you just want to sit down and cry, or when the only thing that you feel like doing is curling up into a ball and staying in bed.  With Thanksgiving this week in America and the Christmas holiday season just around the corner, many of us will be dealing with our families.  I love my family, so don’t get me wrong, but for me and many GLBT people dealing with family and the questions about your personal life can be very depressing.  I know that I have had these feelings depression and not just at the holiday season and statistics show that most GLBT people experience depression at a greater amount than heterosexual people.  Here are a few of those statistics:

* In a study of depression and gay youth, researchers found depression strikes homosexual youth four to five times more severely than other non-gay peers.

* Gay and lesbian youth are 2 to 3 times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual young people.

* Several studies suggest that gay men, lesbians and bisexuals appear to have higher rates of some mental disorders compared with heterosexuals, although not to the level of a serious pathology. Discrimination may help fuel these higher rates.

* Higher rates of major depression, generalized anxiety disorder and substance use or dependence in lesbian and gay youth.

* Higher rates of recurrent major depression among gay men.

* Higher rates of anxiety, mood and substance use disorders, and suicidal thoughts among people ages 15 to 54 with same-sex partners.

* Higher use of mental health services in men and women reporting same-sex partners.

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The following information is from:

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Depression and mental health among GLBT people

Introduction

Everyone gets sad sometimes, and sometimes it feels worse than at other times. Sometimes people feel depressed or sad because something stressful has happened in their lives–like losing a job or the death of a loved one. Even a good thing can make a person feel overwhelmed if it is stressful enough. And sometimes people get depressed for no obvious reason.

Millions of Americans, both gay and straight, transgender and non-transgender, have emotional or psychological problems of some sort during their lives. While we know that homosexuality, bisexuality, and transgender identity are not mental illnesses, the stresses caused by society’s negative messages, condemnation, and violence can sometimes result in depression and other types of emotional difficulties for GLBT persons.

The research on homosexuality is very clear. Homosexuality is neither mental illness nor moral depravity. It is simply the way a minority of our population expresses human love and sexuality. Studies of judgment, stability, reliability, and social and vocational adaptiveness all show that gay men and lesbians function every bit as well as heterosexuals.

— American Psychological Association

What is clinical depression?

Clinical depression is a medical illness that attacks both the mind and the body. It may be far more complex an illness than most people recognize. Depression can cause significant chemical changes to the brain that may make it difficult for many people to overcome it without some time of professional help or treatment.

Depression is not the same as feeling blue or sad–those feelings are a normal part of life. In clinical depression people feel bad for prolonged periods of time–weeks or months. People who are depressed often find it difficult to concentrate. Sometimes they feel like they are on an emotional roller-coaster, sometimes they have trouble getting sad or anxious thoughts out of their minds, and sometimes they just have no energy at all.

Depressed people sometimes have significant weight changes, either up or down. They may have difficulty sleeping, especially in the early morning. Some depressed people sleep more than usual. Sexual interest may decrease.

Untreated, depression can last for months or even years. It may resolve by itself, but it often reoccurs. With treatment, those who suffer from depression often report significant relief within 4-6 weeks.

“Many depressed people feel that they could ‘snap out of it’ if only they could work things out in their head. That’s unrealistic. Depression is an illness. Just as people with AIDS or cancer cannot ‘snap out of’ their illness, people suffering from depression cannot will themselves to recover.”

~ Peter Shalit, MD, PhD

Is clinical depression treatable?

Clinical depression is readily treatable with counseling and medication. Many people suffer needlessly from depression because they don’t seek treatment. They may feel that depression is a personal weakness, or try to cope with their symptoms alone.

If you are feeling depressed, and have been for over a month, you should consider seeking professional help from a gay-positive (or trans-supportive) therapist, doctor, psychiatrist, or other health care provider. There are plenty of mental and other health professionals who will support you and guide you towards being a happy and healthy GLBT person-you deserve nothing less. If you are looking for a gay-supportive counselor, ask friends for referrals or call a local GLBT-friendly mental health agency.

A study performed by the National Institutes of Mental Health showed that after 16 weeks of psychotherapy, 55% of those with mild to moderate depression reported significant improvement. Different people react in different ways to various types of counseling, but cognitive therapy–in which you learn to recognize and replace depressive thinking–can be particularly effective for people experiencing depression.

When there is a chemical component to depression, antidepressant medication can help to correct the chemical imbalance (low levels of brain serotonin and norepinephrine). People with moderate to severe depression are most likely to benefit and improve from the use of medication. Many different types of antidepressants have been developed-if one doesn’t work for you, another one probably will. Some studies have shown that combinations of antidepressant drugs and good psychotherapy may be the best approach.

Depression and suicide

Sometimes people become so depressed that they think about harming or killing themselves. These thoughts and actions can be “passive”–like not wanting to wake up in the morning or wishing to disappear, as well as “active”–like taking pills, cutting oneself or shooting oneself. When suicidal thoughts or acts are present, it’s a good indication that the person may be struggling with a very serious depression.

If you are thinking about hurting yourself or have laid out a suicide plan, please get help immediately. Call a friend, your doctor or your local crisis telephone service. You are not alone and although it may be hard to imagine right now, these feelings will pass and you will be glad you did seek help. If you’re in King County and want to speak with someone right away, call the Crisis Clinic at 206-461-3222 any time of the day or night.

If you have a friend or loved one who is thinking about suicide, talk to them about it openly and help them get some professional help as quickly as possible. Asking about suicide does not make it more likely that a person will harm themselves–often people find it a great relief to finally have someone to talk to.

Tips for handling depression

  • Try to accept your depression as an illness. You cannot will the depression away.
  • Try to do things that you enjoy–visit friends, get a massage, take a class–to get your mind off what may be contributing to the depression and to focus on things that help you feel better.
  • Delay any big decisions or changes that involve work, love or money until you feel better.
  • It’s common to be forgetful when you’re depressed, stressed out or anxious. Take notes and make lists. Your memory will improve when you feel better.
  • Waking through the night is very common. It’s better to get out of bed until you feel sleepy again. Repeated awakening in the early morning without being able to return to sleep easily is a sign that medical evaluation is needed.
  • Mornings are often the worst time. The day usually gets better towards evening.
  • Avoid being home alone for long periods–the depressive thoughts can get worse when no one is around.
  • Get outside at least once a day for a walk. Light to moderate exercise of any kind can be very helpful to your recovery.
  • Don’t try to “medicate” yourself with alcohol, marijuana or other drugs. These drugs may actually make you more depressed than you were to begin with.

What do if someone you love is depressed

It can be difficult to be around a friend who is depressed. You may feel helpless and sometimes angry, particularly if the person is irritable and doesn’t respond when you reach out. Keep reminding yourself that the person is ill, and doesn’t mean to be hurtful or unresponsive.

You can’t relieve clinical depression with love alone any more than you can cure heart disease or diabetes with just love. People who are depressed need professional help, and some require medication.

On the other hand, social support improves treatment results in many serious illnesses including depression. Reach out to your depressed friend so that he or she knows that you care. Call. Send affectionate notes. Invite the person to dinner, movies, ball games, parties, and other events. But keep your expectations low. Even if your friend doesn’t respond, you can be sure that he or she appreciates your attempts.

Who is at risk for clinical depression?

Clinical depression is similar to heart disease and cancer in that everyone is potentially at risk for each. If you have a family history of one of these illnesses, your susceptibility increases. This explains why some people develop a clinical depression only after a large, stressful event, while others develop clinical depression seemingly out of the blue.

Young adults (18-25) are more prone to depression than people in midlife-perhaps because of the particular stressors of separating from one’s family and learning to live on one’s own. Elderly people also have higher rates of depression than people in midlife.

People who abuse alcohol may become depressed–and excessive use of alcohol often indicates that a person is “self-medicating” a depression. But alcohol and related drugs like valium and barbiturates are themselves depressants, and just make problems worse.

Depression screening questionnaires

This screen questionnaire is not designed to provide an actual diagnosis of depression. For that, you will need a complete clinical evaluation by a psychiatrist or other health care professional.

  1. I am unable to do the things I used to do.
  2. I feel hopeless about the future.
  3. I can’t make decisions.
  4. I no longer enjoy the things I used to find fun.
  5. I am losing or gaining weight.
  6. I get tired for no reason.
  7. I am sleeping too much, or too little.
  8. I feel worthless and unhappy.
  9. I become irritable or anxious.
  10. I think about dying or killing myself.

If you answered yes to 5 or more of these questions, and you have felt this way everyday for several weeks, there is a good chance you are suffering from depression and should see a psychiatrist, a therapist, or other health care professional.

If you answered yes to question 10, you should seek help immediately, regardless of your answer to any other questions.

Click here for another online depression screening questionaire.

LGBT Mental Health Resources:

• GLBT National Hotline: 1-888-THE-GLNH (843-4564)
• Rainbow Youth Hotline: 1-877-LGBT-YTH (1-877-542-8984)
• LGBT Suicide Prevention Hotline: www.TheTrevorProject.org or 1-800-850-8078
• NAMI: www.nami.org or 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)
• Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays: www.pflag.org
• Rainbow Heights Club: www.rainbowheights.org
• Association of Gay and Lesbian Psychiatrists: (215) 222-2800 www.aglp.org
• GayHealth.com: www.gayhealth.com
• National Foundation for Depressive Illness: www.depression.org
• Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance: (800) 826-3632 or www.dbsalliance.org
• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: (888) 333-2377 or www.afsp.org


Moment of Zen: Just Relax

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Autumn Poetry

6a00e54f0a235a88340134879471c7970c-800wiAutumn is here and you can certainly feel it. The weather is wonderful here. Highs in the 60s and 70s, with Lows in the 40s at night.  I love fall weather. Hopefully, it will continue to get cooler.
To celebrate the Fall Season, here is William Shakespeare’s “Sonnet 73” to get you in the mood for Fall.
Sonnet 73
by William Shakespeare (1609)
That time of year thou mayst in me behold
When yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hang
Upon those boughs which shake against the cold,
Bare ruined choirs, where late the sweet birds sang.
In me thou see’st the twilight of such day
As after sunset fadeth in the west;
Which by and by black night doth take away,
Death’s second self, that seals up all in rest.
In me thou see’st the glowing of such fire,
That on the ashes of his youth doth lie,
As the deathbed whereon it must expire,
Consumed with that which it was nourished by.
This thou perceiv’st, which makes thy love more strong,
To love that well which thou must leave ere long.

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Moment of Zen: Naked, Beer, Couch…

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Veterans Day

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John McCrae: In Flanders Fields (1915)


image Canadian poet John McCrae was a medical officer in both the Boer War and World War I. A year into the latter war he published in Punch magazine, on December 8, 1915, the sole work by which he would be remembered. This poem commemorates the deaths of thousands of young men who died in Flanders during the grueling battles there. It created a great sensation, and was used widely as a recruiting tool, inspiring other young men to join the Army. Legend has it that he was inspired by seeing the blood-red poppies blooming in the fields where many friends had died. In 1918 McCrae died at the age of 46, in the way most men died during that war, not from a bullet or bomb, but from disease: pneumonia, in his case.


In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on rowimage
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly



Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.



Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.


Veterans Day is an annual United States holiday honoring military veterans. A federal holiday, it is observed on November 11. It is also celebrated as Armistice Day or Remembrance Day in other parts of the world, falling on November 11, the anniversary of the signing of the Armistice that ended World War I. (Major hostilities of World War I were formally ended at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918 with the German signing of the Armistice.)

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Especially, please remember all of the gay and lesbian service men and women who have served and too often died in silence about their sexuality, yet served their country with as much élan as any other soldier.  Hopefully soon, GLBT members of the military can serve openly and we can celebrate their service to the fullest extent of their deserved equality.  We need to rid America of DADT.

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Happy Veterans Day!
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Monday Night Football

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I will readily admit it, my biggest fault is that I love gossip.  I especially love gossip about someone that I don’t like.  I know that it is wrong, but I think that is why I love history so much.  History in reality is just the gossip that survived the test of time.  Two of the best pieces of gossip I have heard in the last week have been about athletes.  One is the Duke Fuck List, which I might do a post on for Wednesday (it sort of depends on my mood).  However, the gossip I want to discuss to day is about the NFL and particularly, Brett Farve—the slimy, drug, alcohol, and sex addicted, son-of-a-bitch who won’t seem to fucking retire.  Yeah, I don’t particularly like him, in fact I much prefer the football pics above.  Those of you who know much about me personally may be a little surprised at this, but all the people I know who have had encounters with this man have nothing good to say about him.
Now it seems that he was harassing a female sidelines reporter for the Jets named Jenn Sterger.  For those who don’t know (or forget, I for one didn’t really know or care before this) who Jenn Sterger is: she is formerly buxom Florida State Cowgirl who gained internet notoriety for being a buxom Florida State fan who parlayed that popularity into a full-time career. She did Maxim shoots. Playboy shoots. She wrote a “Confessions of a Cowgirl” column for Sports Illustrated. Then, in 2008, Ms. Sterger joined the Jets as an in-house sideline reporter. It was during that fateful time that her and Mr. Favre’s paths began to cross. Sort of.

Last winter, close to the Super Bowl, Ms. Sterger and Deadspin were discussing a possible collaboration on the proposed “Deadspin Swimsuit Project,” which turned into a conversation about the whole “athlete dong photo” phenomenon. She claimed that she’s been on the receiving end of several of those types of cell phone interactions by drunk men, some of whom were professional athletes. They later had a phone conversation about who some of the more well-known dong-shot senders were. favre01 One person, she claimed, who was very into cell phone-donging her was none other than Brett Favre. Now, at one point in his career, this news wouldn’t be too surprising. Favre’s time in Green Bay is littered with stories about his boozing and carousing. But gray-haired Favre? Oh yeah, she said. Sterger said that Favre first began to call her early in the season and leave strange, friendly messages on her voicemail. She played me one of these voicemails over the phone. It was Brett turning on the Mississippi simpleton charm on his way to practice giving Jenn a friendly good ol’ boy hello to a pretty lady. It was odd, but nothing incriminating. Then the phone calls from Brett started to turn weird.
Sterger claimed she spurned Favre’s advances because he was married, but also because she was working for the Jets at the time she didn’t think it was the best idea to start a torrid affair with the team’s highest profile player. Plus, if she went forward with how aggressive he was and how skeeved out she was to some of her superiors, she suspected she might lose her job. The interactions were flirty and strange but she didn’t think there wasn’t anything that made her too uncomfortable. But then, one night, Sterger received a picture on her phone which was so shocking that she just tossed it across the room. It was his dick. favre02 Brett Favre’s dick. And it happened multiple times. In fact, Sterger claims that, in one of the photos Favre allegedly sent her, he’s masturbating — while wearing a pair of Crocs. In another photo, Favre is holding his penis while wearing the wristwatch he wore during his first teary-eyed retirement press conference.
There is more to the story as covered by Deadspin, but I think you get the just of the details.  If you would like to see the Deadspin video which has the voicemails and texts, click here (penis photos at 2:08 mark but I also put them above).  If you don’t want to watch the evidence, here is a breakdown of the reasons I believe it is Farve, besides the fact that he is a slimy sonofabitch. Yes, there’s a possibility that the person communicating with Sterger was not actually Brett Favre, but rather someone trying very hard to appear to be him. But let’s look at the evidence: For an individual to put forth the effort to 1.) acquire a cellphone with a Mississippi area code where Farve lives; 2.) take some voice lessons because not only does it sound like Farve, but the person has an authentic South Mississippi accent (a true southern knows his variations in southern accents); and 3.) implicate Jets handlers and perhaps other people, all within a very short period of time and for no discernible reason other than to mess with Sterger, well, that’s some very aggressive role-playing. Sterger believed it to be him. Others believed it to be him. We’ve seen far too many supposedly family-oriented and upstanding professional athletes whose off-field behavior contradicts their well-manicured public persona. If Sterger is right, Brett Favre really is like a kid out there.  He also has a rather smallish dick (technically averaged size, but considering all the stories I had heard about him flashing it around Mississippi while he was in college, you’d think it would be big enough to brag about).
If you don’t know who the hell I have been talking about in this post, here is Brett Farve:
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