For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth and be turned aside to fables.

—2 Timothy 4:3-4

I saw someone post this Bible verse on Facebook. The thing is, I know this person is an ultra-conservative Southern Baptist and Republican. If you have read my Sunday posts, you know that I firmly believe that most people who consider themselves Christian today are anything but Christian. They do not follow the teachings of Jesus. They make up their own doctrine based on picking and choosing what they want the Bible to say. They “turn their ears away from the truth and be turned aside to fables.” I have seen this particular woman make a spectacle in a restaurant forcing everyone sitting with her to hold hands, bow, and have someone say a prayer before anyone can eat. This happens to be one of my pet peeves with pious acting Christians because in Matthew 6:5-7, Jesus says, “And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words.” Jesus then gave us the model prayer, also called the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13):

Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be Your name.
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation,
But deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and
the power and the glory forever.
Amen.

Another person I know on Facebook posted that there was no such thing as a progressive Christian, because the Christian religion never changes, and thus, it cannot progress. They could not be further from the truth. First, with each translation of the Bible, the Christian religion changes to suit the translators’ own beliefs. I tend to use the New King James Version (though it has the same issues as nearly all modern translations) because it is closest to the beautiful language of the King James Version (KJV) with only minor changes to update some of the works, such as “find” for “findeth.” I do not use other versions because they are worse translations than the KJV and purposely chose to place the word homosexual in passages that were never mean to be about homosexuality. The KJV is not without its issues either. It is a highly political translation used to fit the beliefs of King James I of England and the theologians and biblical scholars who used their translation to cement the validity of the Church of England. It was also translated in a way they thought would appease the Puritans who wanted to purify the Church of England of any remaining vestiges of Catholicism. However, they did translate the Bible from its original languages: the New Testament was translated from Greek and the Old Testament from Hebrew and Aramaic. Newer translations are often translated from the texts of various translations, most notably the Revised Standard Version (RSV), not the original languages.

Since it was first published, the RSV has been controversial. The RSV is the authorized revision of the American Standard Version, published in 1901, which was a revision of the KJV, published in 1611. It is this Americanized version of the Bible that introduced the addition of the word “homosexual” for the first time on February 11, 1946, in the RSV. In it, their translation of 1 Corinthians 6:9 (Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind [KJV]), they substitute the word “homosexual” for the Greek words “malakoi” and “arsenokoitai.” Previously, the KJV had translated this to be “abusers of themselves with mankind.” However, earlier translations of the Bible had used various words for pederasty or more directly translated, “boy molester.” The ancient world condoned and encouraged a system whereby young boys (8-12 years old) were coupled by older men. Ancient Greek documents show us how even parents utilized this abusive system to help their sons advance in society. So, for most of history, translations thought these verses were obviously referring the pederasty, not homosexuality! In the Old Testament of the KJV, Leviticus 18:22 is often quoted the most to condemn homosexuality. Whereas in English translations it says, “Man shall not lie with man, for it is an abomination,” the German and other languages say, “Man shall not lie with young boys as he does with a woman, for it is an abomination.” The fact is not only were the translators of the RSV lazy, but they were influenced by politics of the day. The vast majority of pastors in America today have also not done their due diligence on this topic either.

So, when mainline Christians claim that progressive Christians are too liberal, it is because of their own bigotry and laziness that they have that attitude. Intellectual laziness or willful ignorance is most often the cause of bigotry no matter how someone tries to hide it or excuse it. Furthermore, people who condemn progressive Christians do so because what they consider “progressive” Christians are just Christians, who more closely follow the Bible and what it actually says instead of picking and choosing what they want the Bible to say as most mainline Christians do.

Sometimes, I don’t know why I log into Facebook. I do so to keep up with some of my friends from grad school and former coworkers, but I have found myself “unfollowing” more and more people these days. I don’t like to unfriend people, though I have in the past, and I used to just “snooze” them for 30 days, but after snoozing someone for what seems like the fourth or fifth time, I just unfollow so I don’t have to read their hateful posts. These days, I log onto Facebook for information about Star Trek from the groups I belong to, and cat videos. I know it sounds pathetic, but sometimes I am bored at work.

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

—1 Samuel 16:7

I know on this blog, I post pictures of beautiful men. I had trouble trying to find the right one for today’s post. We all have our own preferences for beautiful men. When I was younger, before I realized I was gay, I would look at beautiful men and think, “I want to look like that.” I wanted to have the beauty and body of the men I saw in magazines. That was what I told myself: it was only admiration. And while admiration was certainly a part of that, it was also a feeling of lust, something that many Christians believe is a sin. As I grew older and examined myself, I realized, I did not have the same lust for women that I had for men. In fact, I was not attracted to women, no matter how hard I tried. We all enjoy aesthetic beauty, especially that of men. Does it mean that the person is beautiful on the inside? Does it mean that we focus too much on appearances than a person’s inner beauty? Yes, we probably do. But should we? No, we shouldn’t. However, it is part of human nature. So, I post images of beautiful men because we all like to look at them. We may not all agree on what constitutes beauty, but we can agree that there are many attractive men out there in the world. The question is, are they as attractive on the inside?

We’ve all met a physically attractive person before. Beautiful or handsome, we are stunned by their appearance. Sometimes, however, when we get to know that person, their character or personality makes them less attractive. Perhaps they are prideful or annoying in some way. Maybe they are cruel or insensitive to the feelings and needs of others. Whatever it might be, this person we thought was attractive is now repugnant to us. Character is more important than anything else. A person can have a modicum of talent and still enjoy great success due to their work ethic or other positive traits. It is also possible for the most talented individual to never accomplish anything due to laziness or entitlement. Despite knowing this, we still want our celebrities to be beautiful or handsome. We want good-looking people in ads. As much as it might be changing, we continue to deal with impossible standards of beauty in media. It is human nature, and we might say, to look at the surface first. To “judge a book by its cover,” so to speak. As I said, I am guilty of this.

In the above passage from 1 Samuel 16:7, God has sent the prophet Samuel to Bethlehem, telling him that among the sons of a man named Jesse, God will anoint a new king. In 1 Samuel 16:6, when Samuel sees the first son Eliab, he said, “Surely the Lord’s anointed is before Him!” God replied, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” God judges our hearts, not our physical appearance. It is the inner person that is what is truly beautiful or ugly. Our hearts are capable of so many thoughts and feelings, reflections of the complexities of God. We should not fall into the trap of believing that our looks are to be a source of pride or envy. 

Our true beauty should come from the inside, not from the outward appearance the world often judges us on. In 1 Peter 3:3-4, Peter says, “Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” Peter may be talking to women in this passage, but it is advice for all of us. In Matthew 23:28, Jesus said of the scribes and Pharisees, “Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.” Sadly, we see similar things today with many religious leaders. However, modern religious leaders and politicians not only do they say things that are hypocritical, but also they say things in a way that is very unchristian, yet they wrap in the veil of Christianity.

Physical appearance has its place and is important to God in that it reveals the glory of His creative abilities. So we should appreciate the beauty God has given us as His most complex and amazing creation. In ways we cannot understand, we reflect His own beauty. God places some value on appearances; if He did not, we would all look the same. It is not a wrong thing for us to notice and appreciate physical appearance as well. However, outward appearance should not be our only focus. If the reason we try to be the perfect weight, wear the best clothes, have facial treatments, etc., is to impress other people, then our physical appearance has become a matter of pride. First Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.” While vanity may cause us to alter our outward appearance, our bodies are a temple for God, and we should take care of it.

Nonetheless, we should be humbly aware of our appearance and do so for our health (even mental health of feeling good about ourselves) rather than acting to conform to the world’s standards. Matthew 23:12 says, “And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” James 4:6 says, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Sometimes, we feel shame in the way we look. The author J’son M. Lee wrote, “Shame is the demon that keeps many of us trapped in our pain; healing comes when we gain the courage to confront our demon(s).” One anonymous author wrote, “May we each find in ourselves the courage we forgot we have, to see the beauty we forgot is inside us, while battling the demons we forgot we can slay, on a battlefield we forgot we can win.”

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

—1 Peter 5:7

The Bible gives us some guidance on making decisions, and God provides profound wisdom for making choices in our life. Remember the advice of scripture to rely on the guidance of God when facing big decisions. Proverbs 3:5-6 advises us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Likewise, Philippians 4:6-7 tells us, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

When I pray, I often ask God to guide me on the path that He has chosen for me. I think there are times when I should have listened to what God was trying to tell me, but I failed to do so, and it did not turn out well. Other times, I have felt a great certainty in my decisions, and I believe that God is pointing me in the right direction. I can only trust in God that he will not lead me astray and will help guide me in this life so that I may find my true purpose.

On Friday, I mentioned that I was taking a quick trip down and back from Boston. I did so because I had a job interview, but I wonder if this is the right job for me. While I would love to live in Boston, I am not sure I am ready to move. I have a job with responsibilities I really like doing. I have a doctor who, for the first time in my 45 years, I feel comfortable discussing anything with, and I like him. In fact, I don’t dread having to go see him. I trust him to do what is best for my health. Likewise, I have a neurologist who is working with me to provide the best treatment for my migraines. While I know I could find a migraine specialist in Boston, I feel like my doctor was like finding a golden needle in a haystack. I honestly wonder if I could find gold again.

I like my current job a lot, but there have been issues with who I work with and who I work for. Besides that, Vermont may be a very LGBTQ+-friendly state, but there aren’t a lot of gay men. It seems that lesbians and transgender individuals (and more trans women than trans men) are the majority, and for as LGBTQ+ friendly as Vermont is, there are still a lot of closeted gay men. It makes it difficult to find a long-term romantic partner. It’s hard to meet men here because there are so few.

The Friday interview was just the first interview in the process. I thought it went really well, but one never knows what the other candidates’ resumes look like. The director I talked to said she would finish the first round of interviews, and then she and her senior staff will look over the resumes together before deciding who to bring back for a second round of interviews. It’s still early in the process. I’m also not sure this really is the job for me, the job I’d want to move away from Vermont for. The pay is not as great as I’d live, but it is more than I am making now. However, Boston is more expensive than Vermont, and I’d need that extra salary. I’m just not sure it’s enough. It would be a step up in my career. I would be going from being a curator to being one of the museum’s directors. Plus, I’d be working at not only one of the most historic places in Boston but in the whole United States, and I’d be doing real historical work on the foundation of American democracy.

I’ve applied for other jobs in or near Boston, and this isn’t the first one that I had an interview for. That first interview was for a job that paid significantly more, and I do think I’d be able to live comfortably in Boston for that salary. However, I have not heard back from them since that first interview. So, while I know I am worrying about something that may not ever become a choice, I don’t want the choice to be given to me without having given it due consideration. Whatever I decide, I know I can trust in the Lord to point me in the right direction. 

The hope of the righteous will be gladness, but the expectation of the wicked will perish.

—Proverbs 10:28

 The Book of Job addresses why God permits evil in the world, through the experiences of Job, a wealthy and God-fearing man with a comfortable life and a large family. God asked Satan for his opinion of Job’s piety and decides to take away Job’s wealth, family, and material comforts, following Satan’s accusation that if Job were rendered penniless and without his family, he would turn away from God. The story of Job teaches us that we can have steadfast hope in God no matter what happens to us. In the life of Job, we see the breadth and depth of human suffering. We see suffering in health (Job 2:7), suffering in the loss of property (1:14–17), and suffering in the tragic death of family members (1:18–19). Ultimately, because of Job’s faith his is restored to health, riches and family, and lives to see his children to the fourth generation. Like the parables of Jesus in the New Testament, the story is less about “Did it really happen?” than it is about the message.

The Book of Job shows us that suffering is universal. We all suffer at one time or another, though it differs from circumstance to circumstance. What may cause one person’s suffering may not cause another’s. Then there is what we might call “common suffering.” This is suffering that affects all people without distinction. It is simply the result of living. It includes health problems from colds to cancer. It includes bad weather, earthquakes, and typhoons. It includes financial struggles, and even death itself. Each tragic incident in Job’s life includes an element of this common suffering.

Eliphaz the Temanite, one of the friends or comforters of Job who tries to convince Job that his suffering is because of his sins, asks him in Job 4:6, “Is not your reverence your confidence? And the integrity of your ways your hope?” It made sense to Eliphaz that suffering was the consequence of sin and that, if a person suffered, he was being punished by God. However, Eliphaz was wrong. Job’s life is a clear example of how sometimes the innocent suffer. I cannot answer the question of why God lets us suffer. It is one of the divine mysteries that I cannot explain, but I do know that I, nor anyone else, suffer because of our sins.  The answer may be in Romans 5:3-5 which says, “And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

In this Notes from the Underground, Fr. Donald Cozzens writes, “We don’t suffer for our sins; we suffer from our sins. That’s the message Jesus taught when he told the scandalous story of the prodigal son. We’re loved already, saved already, redeemed already- before we can ever merit God’s love, or be saved by Jesus’ passion, or be redeemed by our entering into the Paschal Mystery.” (Note: The Paschal Mystery is one of the central concepts of Catholic faith relating to the history of salvation.) Some Christians say that God himself directly chastises his followers for their sins, and therefore, we suffer because of our own sin. I was never taught this. I was taught that any punishment would come in the afterlife, though I have always believed that you must be truly evil down to your soul for God to send you to Hell. Job’s friends assume that his suffering is a direct result of disobedience (Job 8:4). Their comfort of Job angered God because suffering is never divine punishment for specific sins. 

If we look at the recent floods in Vermont, we will see that while there is great suffering in the destruction it caused, the state is recovering. People are working hard to restore the areas most affected. Some Christians may claim that Vermont suffered the floods because they are too “woke” as the Republicans might say. However, if you look at the flooding in Vermont, only two people died of it. The message is not that Vermont suffered because of what some perceive as it’s sinful ways because it helps the poor, protects the environment, lifts the downtrodden, i.e., all the things that make a good Christian. The message is that we must stop destroying the earth with pollution. If we don’t staunch the tide of global warming and take care of the environment, then we will all be doomed. Global warming is a consequence of greed and is very real.

Despite its focus on challenges and sufferings, the book of Job speaks a message of great hope to the world. The physician Habib Sadeghi wrote, “Hope believes there are greater forces against you but that there’s a chance you might win out. Hope is wishing. Faith is knowing. The universe is listening.” We live in a world longing for comfort and hope, and such hope is found in faith in God. We are loved faithfully and passionately by God who works all things for our good (Rom. 8:28). James 5:11 tells us “Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord—that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.”

We can give people hope by doing God’s work. Job 5:16 says, “So the poor have hope, and injustice shuts their mouths.” Many of us are beaten down by the injustices of the world, and for some it causes them to shrink back, to “shut their mouths.” Injustice perpetrated by people is meant to silence. However, we are to intercede for the world, both in prayer and in life. Second Corinthians 1:3-4 tells us that Gods is out comfort and we should share that comfort: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” The comfort we are commanded to give must be shown in our actions to others. It allows us to spread hope. 

We must not only have hope ourselves but give that hope to others. However, we cannot do that if we do not have hope ourselves. In The Beatrice Letters, the fictional character Lemony Snicket says, “Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.” I will end with the words of Stephen King, “Remember, Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

—Matthew 11:28-30

Last week was a long week for many in Vermont. Since Monday, people have been working to clean up the damage done by the floods. A lot has been done so far, but there is so much more to do. So today, I am simply going to ask that you pray for those who have suffered because of the widespread flooding in my adopted state.

Also, today’s post is a short one because I had a terrible migraine last night, and I still have a bit of one this morning. I have just not been up to writing a longer Sunday post and am taking a day of rest.

For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

—Galatians 5:13

Churches across America might be singing “God Bless America,” “America the Beautiful,” or “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” today because it’s the Sunday before Independence Day. The songbook from my church did not have the “patriotic songs” section found in the Baptists, Methodist, or Presbyterian hymnals of my youth, so we never sang these songs in my church. We only sang very traditional hymns, like “Rock of Ages,” “Amazing Grace,” etc. Nothing adorned the knotty pine walls of the small church I grew up in. The only decoration in the church was a side table with a large Bible on a lower shelf and a vase of flowers on top. Two very plain simple cane bottomed deacon chairs sat behind the pulpit. It was the only church I knew with such simple décor. The Southern Baptist church where I was forced to attend vacation Bible school every summer was far more elaborate. Behind the pulpit stood the Christian flag and the American flag. The same was true of the Presbyterian church where I had piano recitals and the Pentecostal church my best friend attended. 

Politics or patriotism rarely made an appearance in my church, but it did in many other churches across the country. In the United States, patriotism and religion have been interwoven into American theology. These churches believe in a Christian faithfulness where God desires America to do great, to be great, has ordained America to be at the top, and that America has been baptized by the Church. While this is not something I was taught or ever believed, it’s unrealistic for us not to realize that in the United States, Christianity and patriotism are seemingly inextricably woven together, especially in the Republican Party. As the world changes and equality and acceptance grows, the United States will no longer be able to claim (whether it was ever true or not) that America is a beacon of freedom, “the land of the free and the home of the brave.” If we do not either follow the ethical tenets of most religions, including the teachings of Christ or throw off the chains of the uniquely American version of Christianity, then America will fall further and further behind the quest for human rights for all. We saw that it 2016 when evangelicals backed Donald Trump for president. They abandoned morality for power, and the conservative Supreme Court he created is proving to be a victory for American evangelicals.

Even though the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution says, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,” religion has been intricately laced in with American history. In 1630, the first ships of the Great Puritan Migration sailed to the New World, led by John Winthrop. During the crossing, Winthrop preached a sermon entitled “A Model of Christian Charity.” He told his followers that they had entered a covenant with God according to which he would cause them to prosper if they maintained their commitment to God. In doing so, their new colony would become a “City upon a Hill,” meaning that they would be a model to all the nations of Europe as to what a properly reformed Christian commonwealth should look like. Since then, politicians have used the “city upon a hill” analogy for political purposes to push for American exceptionalism.

“A Model of Christian Charity” serves as an important text in United States history, conveying the optimistic, confident, community-focused mindset in which the New England colonies were founded. Perry Miller, a historian considered one of the founders of American Studies, wrote that the sermon “stands at the beginning of [the] consciousness” of the American mind. Several figures in U.S. politics—beginning as early as John Adams—have referenced this text in public speeches when trying to convey themes of unity and idealism, most often citing the symbol of “a city upon a hill.” In his 1980 Election Eve speech, Ronald Reagan asserted his belief that “Americans…are every bit as committed to that vision of a shining city on a hill, as were those long-ago settlers.” More recently, public figures have utilized the sermon to argue how far the United States has strayed from its values. In his blistering critique of the then-presidential candidate and the future twice impeached and disgraced former president, 2012 Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney posited that “Trump’s personal qualities would mean that America would cease to be a shining city on a hill.” The disgraced former president tried his hardest to destroy the United States, ironically, with the help of American evangelicals.

However, most politicians do not pay attention to the rest of Winthrop’s sermon. They focus on the “city upon a hill,” but not on the rest of the message. Winthrop used logical reasoning combined with a sympathetic nature to make his point to the new Puritan settlers. To remove this work’s central arguments about love and relationships is to lose the sense of the whole completely. The Governor laid out his argument for charity and decent human behavior in the community. While exceptionalism was one of the sermon’s themes, Winthrop explained how God chose the small group of Puritans on the boats to go to America to carry out their mission. He also mentioned how the rest of the world would watch them. This is the part that politicians have always latched onto, but they often ignore the other main points of the sermon. Winthrop believed that charity, giving to others who need help—not only the poor but also the community—would make the new lands the “city upon a hill” in his view of exceptionalism. Winthrop also believed that communalism reflected the Puritan ideals of “love, unity, and charity.” He mentioned that people have different things to offer each other, and this induced a need for each other, helping the community. He also said that different types of people were on the ship during the sermon but had the same goal of serving God. This was also represented by people being different parts of one body. Through his use of language connected to women’s work, such as “knit,” Winthrop suggests the importance of women in holding the community together. It’s amazing how much is forgotten by the politicians who use a small part of the sermon for their purposes, much like how many “Christians” cherry pick the Bible to suit their needs instead of looking at Christ’s central message of love and hope, faith, and charity.

Many patriotic evangelical Christians use the Bible to defend their ideas that God is pro-government (or, more specifically, He favors their preferred brand of government). They often use Matthew 22:21, in which Jesus says, “Render therefore to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.” It’s a radical statement publicly declaring that Caesar and Rome weren’t God. Most Roman emperors advocated the belief that they were gods and should be worshiped. In this passage, Jesus is warning us to avoid such thinking.

Romans 13:1 is also often used by people to defend their political allegiances: “Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God.” But these texts have a significant caveat, where the authors presuppose that this “submitting” is coinciding—and never contradicting—the supreme call to love God and love others. This becomes obvious when looking at other passages that explicitly say so, such as Matthew 22: 36-40:

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

Christians using Romans 13 as a defense to support various political viewpoints at the expense of loving others are also ignoring the words of Peter in Acts 5:29 when he tells the apostles, “We must obey God rather than men” and the teachings of Jesus himself when he proclaimed in Matthew 6:24, “no one can serve two masters.” Separating patriotism and Christianity is difficult for many modern American Christians to comprehend because they often incorporate nationalism and patriotism into much of their religious expression and even their faith. Churches celebrating the Fourth of July by adorning their sanctuaries with American flags and incorporating America and American nationalism into songs of worship would have been alarming and even considered blasphemous for the first followers of Jesus.

The challenge for Christians is to simultaneously honor the virtues of sacrifice, service, and freedom without idolizing American exceptionalism and Christian nationalism, celebrating bravery without romanticizing violence, and realizing that our salvation comes from the sacrifices of Jesus and not the wars of men. For those raised in churches that interwove Christianity with patriotism, it may not seem a big deal that our country’s flag stands alongside a pastor onstage but try to imagine the apostle Paul and the earliest churches pledging their allegiance to Caesar and the conquering legions who were slaughtering anybody who stood in their way. As citizens of the United States, we’re trying to follow Christ within a similar context as the earliest Christians—living within a powerful empire and susceptible to state-sponsored religion, where it’s socially, politically, and economically advantageous to adhere to certain political beliefs and leaders—even to the point of becoming a pseudo-theocracy.

Unfortunately, Christians have been historically gullible to nationalistic “Christianity.” They often treat our faith as a civic religion to establish a voting bloc and create enough influence to legislate laws, gain wealth, and consolidate power rather than sacrificially serve and love others. The American version of Christianity often perverts the life and mission of Jesus because instead of forgiving enemies, the state spends billions of dollars to kill them. Instead of caring for the poor, politicians villainize them. Instead of accepting the foreigner, they ban them. Instead of helping the oppressed, they further alienate them. While it’s clearly possible to be both an American and a Christian, we must realize that the goals of our country’s government and those of Christ are rarely the same and often directly contradict each other, especially under Republican administrations.

Many right-wing politicians and evangelicals Christians are terrified of the phrase “separation of church and state.” The problem with the comingling of church and state is that only one brand of religion gets instituted for all people in the country. In America, it is often the perverted version of American Christianity that tries to legislate our morals and bodies. Suppose American Christianity had latched onto the charity, communalism, and unity in Winthrop’s “A Model of Christian Charity” instead of American exceptionalism. In that case, the link between religion and politics might not be so bad, and that’s why the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution says, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” The Founding Fathers knew that when it came to church and state if you gave an inch, religious leaders would take a mile. There had to be a clear separation of church and state.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of The Lord.   

—Ephesians 6:1-4 

Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. Buy truth, and do not sell it; buy wisdom, instruction, and understanding. The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice.  

—Proverbs 23: 22-25

I know there are at least a few dads out there who read my blog, maybe even two gay dads out there raising sons and/or daughters, and I want to wish you a very Happy Father’s Day.  Just like mothers, fathers can drive us crazy.  Most of us may not have been as close to our fathers as maybe we should have been or should be, but all of us have a father somewhere.  Besides wishing you fathers out there a Happy Father’s Day, I also wanted to tell you about my father.

We are very different in so many ways. He is very outdoorsy: he hunts, fishes, and constantly works outdoors. I was always a bookworm who liked books better than sports. I’ve learned to like the outdoors: I walk nature trails, I like to hike, and I even like to fish occasionally. Whereas my father worked outside all his life, I prefer to work inside, research, writing, teaching, etc. There are a lot of other differences as well. We can generally have a conversation for about 15-20 minutes before we get into some type of argument. My father has never felt I was right about anything. I can be agreeing with him, and he will fuss at me for agreeing with him. No matter what I say, he will say the opposite. One example is that I once made a remark about a house being painted white (it used to be gray). He argued with me that the house was painted gray, just a lighter shade. Everyone else I know says the house is white, but he still says that it is gray. Often he tells me that I am not a very pleasant person to be around. It’s odd because, as far as I know, he’s just about the only person I know who feels that way. It’s that sort of thing that drives me crazy. Needless to say, we barely get along. I love him, but I don’t like him. He can be very cruel and frustrating.

To switch gears a little bit, I want to tell you also how great my father can be without me ever knowing it. This is part of the reason that I forgive so much of the misery he causes me. When my parents found out I was gay, it was a very traumatic experience for all concerned. My mother had suspected for quite a while and was very nosy. She checked my email. She didn’t like some of the emails that she saw. Most of them, if not all, were fairly innocent, but there were some, like an ad from Showtime about “Queer as Folk” and maybe another one from gay.com. I was over at my grandmother’s checking on her when my mother called me and confronted me about it. I was tired of denying it. All of my friends knew, so why shouldn’t she. I knew she wouldn’t like it. She had confronted me several years before about it, and I denied it then. I wasn’t ready, and to make sure that I never was, my mother told me, “If you would rather have a dick up my ass, then be part of this family, then leave. We will have nothing more to do with you.” When this time came around, we got into a huge argument. I yelled, she yelled, and I left. I was still dependent on them for some things, but I could live without them. My mother went to bed and cried for the next two weeks. By the way, this all happened two days before Christmas while I was home on Christmas break. My mother did get up and do the family things the holiday required but was very cold toward me the whole time. When my father got home, he talked to my mother about what was wrong. She told him. She tells him everything. This was one of the times when he sided with me.

He told my mother that I was their child. She could not stop loving me just because she did not agree with my “lifestyle.” He would continue to love me, and she would have to do the same. No matter what his children did, they would still love them (it may have helped that my sister married a complete and total jackass, who doesn’t physically abuse her, but abuses her mentally). Then he came and talked with me. He told me that he didn’t care what I told my mother, but to tell her something or she would die in that bed in there (you don’t know my mother, but she would have). Then he told me what surprised me the most, “I should have taught you how to fight the urges. I am sorry that I failed you.” It is the only time my father ever apologized to me for anything. I never asked about the “urges,” but I am pretty sure I know what he was talking about. I think he knew exactly how I felt, and it may be why he is such a miserable person. Maybe, he had been there himself, but he had chosen a different path. This may be why they still believe it is a choice. But I see the misery in him almost every day. I went to my parents and told them both that I was celibate and would remain that way, that I had never acted on my sexuality (yes, it was a lie, but it was one I think was and still is for the better, even though I hate lying more than anything). They made me promise that I would not tell anyone else in the family, and I have agreed to that. Eventually, I told my niece, who came out as transgender. Our family has become a “Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t discuss” zone. It is not my preference, but it is what I must deal with for the time being. If I ever find a man to live my life with, I will deal with the other consequences then. I don’t think I could hide from my family the love of my life (if he ever comes along). My mother continues to be the queen of denial and believes I will find the right girl and get married someday.

They still consider my being gay a lifestyle choice. I never will. I don’t believe I would have chosen to be gay. I would have chosen to live a more open life, but that is mostly not possible where I lived back then. I have a different job now and live 1200 miles away. I am far happier being open and honest about my sexuality. I know what makes me happy, and after a lot of prayer and meditation, God told me that love is what matters most in this world. I came to understand that if I lived a lie and married a woman, I would make her and my life miserable (somewhat like my father has). If I was going to be alone, then I would be alone. At least I wouldn’t be hurting someone else. I realize that some people had more pressures to get married and have a family and come out later in life. I do not fault them for that. It was a different time and/or different circumstances. But in this day and age, I felt I could not lie to myself or anyone else and spend a large portion of my life as a lie.