Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

—1 Peter 5:7

The Bible gives us some guidance on making decisions, and God provides profound wisdom for making choices in our life. Remember the advice of scripture to rely on the guidance of God when facing big decisions. Proverbs 3:5-6 advises us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Likewise, Philippians 4:6-7 tells us, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

When I pray, I often ask God to guide me on the path that He has chosen for me. I think there are times when I should have listened to what God was trying to tell me, but I failed to do so, and it did not turn out well. Other times, I have felt a great certainty in my decisions, and I believe that God is pointing me in the right direction. I can only trust in God that he will not lead me astray and will help guide me in this life so that I may find my true purpose.

On Friday, I mentioned that I was taking a quick trip down and back from Boston. I did so because I had a job interview, but I wonder if this is the right job for me. While I would love to live in Boston, I am not sure I am ready to move. I have a job with responsibilities I really like doing. I have a doctor who, for the first time in my 45 years, I feel comfortable discussing anything with, and I like him. In fact, I don’t dread having to go see him. I trust him to do what is best for my health. Likewise, I have a neurologist who is working with me to provide the best treatment for my migraines. While I know I could find a migraine specialist in Boston, I feel like my doctor was like finding a golden needle in a haystack. I honestly wonder if I could find gold again.

I like my current job a lot, but there have been issues with who I work with and who I work for. Besides that, Vermont may be a very LGBTQ+-friendly state, but there aren’t a lot of gay men. It seems that lesbians and transgender individuals (and more trans women than trans men) are the majority, and for as LGBTQ+ friendly as Vermont is, there are still a lot of closeted gay men. It makes it difficult to find a long-term romantic partner. It’s hard to meet men here because there are so few.

The Friday interview was just the first interview in the process. I thought it went really well, but one never knows what the other candidates’ resumes look like. The director I talked to said she would finish the first round of interviews, and then she and her senior staff will look over the resumes together before deciding who to bring back for a second round of interviews. It’s still early in the process. I’m also not sure this really is the job for me, the job I’d want to move away from Vermont for. The pay is not as great as I’d live, but it is more than I am making now. However, Boston is more expensive than Vermont, and I’d need that extra salary. I’m just not sure it’s enough. It would be a step up in my career. I would be going from being a curator to being one of the museum’s directors. Plus, I’d be working at not only one of the most historic places in Boston but in the whole United States, and I’d be doing real historical work on the foundation of American democracy.

I’ve applied for other jobs in or near Boston, and this isn’t the first one that I had an interview for. That first interview was for a job that paid significantly more, and I do think I’d be able to live comfortably in Boston for that salary. However, I have not heard back from them since that first interview. So, while I know I am worrying about something that may not ever become a choice, I don’t want the choice to be given to me without having given it due consideration. Whatever I decide, I know I can trust in the Lord to point me in the right direction. 

The hope of the righteous will be gladness, but the expectation of the wicked will perish.

—Proverbs 10:28

 The Book of Job addresses why God permits evil in the world, through the experiences of Job, a wealthy and God-fearing man with a comfortable life and a large family. God asked Satan for his opinion of Job’s piety and decides to take away Job’s wealth, family, and material comforts, following Satan’s accusation that if Job were rendered penniless and without his family, he would turn away from God. The story of Job teaches us that we can have steadfast hope in God no matter what happens to us. In the life of Job, we see the breadth and depth of human suffering. We see suffering in health (Job 2:7), suffering in the loss of property (1:14–17), and suffering in the tragic death of family members (1:18–19). Ultimately, because of Job’s faith his is restored to health, riches and family, and lives to see his children to the fourth generation. Like the parables of Jesus in the New Testament, the story is less about “Did it really happen?” than it is about the message.

The Book of Job shows us that suffering is universal. We all suffer at one time or another, though it differs from circumstance to circumstance. What may cause one person’s suffering may not cause another’s. Then there is what we might call “common suffering.” This is suffering that affects all people without distinction. It is simply the result of living. It includes health problems from colds to cancer. It includes bad weather, earthquakes, and typhoons. It includes financial struggles, and even death itself. Each tragic incident in Job’s life includes an element of this common suffering.

Eliphaz the Temanite, one of the friends or comforters of Job who tries to convince Job that his suffering is because of his sins, asks him in Job 4:6, “Is not your reverence your confidence? And the integrity of your ways your hope?” It made sense to Eliphaz that suffering was the consequence of sin and that, if a person suffered, he was being punished by God. However, Eliphaz was wrong. Job’s life is a clear example of how sometimes the innocent suffer. I cannot answer the question of why God lets us suffer. It is one of the divine mysteries that I cannot explain, but I do know that I, nor anyone else, suffer because of our sins.  The answer may be in Romans 5:3-5 which says, “And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

In this Notes from the Underground, Fr. Donald Cozzens writes, “We don’t suffer for our sins; we suffer from our sins. That’s the message Jesus taught when he told the scandalous story of the prodigal son. We’re loved already, saved already, redeemed already- before we can ever merit God’s love, or be saved by Jesus’ passion, or be redeemed by our entering into the Paschal Mystery.” (Note: The Paschal Mystery is one of the central concepts of Catholic faith relating to the history of salvation.) Some Christians say that God himself directly chastises his followers for their sins, and therefore, we suffer because of our own sin. I was never taught this. I was taught that any punishment would come in the afterlife, though I have always believed that you must be truly evil down to your soul for God to send you to Hell. Job’s friends assume that his suffering is a direct result of disobedience (Job 8:4). Their comfort of Job angered God because suffering is never divine punishment for specific sins. 

If we look at the recent floods in Vermont, we will see that while there is great suffering in the destruction it caused, the state is recovering. People are working hard to restore the areas most affected. Some Christians may claim that Vermont suffered the floods because they are too “woke” as the Republicans might say. However, if you look at the flooding in Vermont, only two people died of it. The message is not that Vermont suffered because of what some perceive as it’s sinful ways because it helps the poor, protects the environment, lifts the downtrodden, i.e., all the things that make a good Christian. The message is that we must stop destroying the earth with pollution. If we don’t staunch the tide of global warming and take care of the environment, then we will all be doomed. Global warming is a consequence of greed and is very real.

Despite its focus on challenges and sufferings, the book of Job speaks a message of great hope to the world. The physician Habib Sadeghi wrote, “Hope believes there are greater forces against you but that there’s a chance you might win out. Hope is wishing. Faith is knowing. The universe is listening.” We live in a world longing for comfort and hope, and such hope is found in faith in God. We are loved faithfully and passionately by God who works all things for our good (Rom. 8:28). James 5:11 tells us “Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord—that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.”

We can give people hope by doing God’s work. Job 5:16 says, “So the poor have hope, and injustice shuts their mouths.” Many of us are beaten down by the injustices of the world, and for some it causes them to shrink back, to “shut their mouths.” Injustice perpetrated by people is meant to silence. However, we are to intercede for the world, both in prayer and in life. Second Corinthians 1:3-4 tells us that Gods is out comfort and we should share that comfort: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” The comfort we are commanded to give must be shown in our actions to others. It allows us to spread hope. 

We must not only have hope ourselves but give that hope to others. However, we cannot do that if we do not have hope ourselves. In The Beatrice Letters, the fictional character Lemony Snicket says, “Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.” I will end with the words of Stephen King, “Remember, Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

—Matthew 11:28-30

Last week was a long week for many in Vermont. Since Monday, people have been working to clean up the damage done by the floods. A lot has been done so far, but there is so much more to do. So today, I am simply going to ask that you pray for those who have suffered because of the widespread flooding in my adopted state.

Also, today’s post is a short one because I had a terrible migraine last night, and I still have a bit of one this morning. I have just not been up to writing a longer Sunday post and am taking a day of rest.

For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

—Galatians 5:13

Churches across America might be singing “God Bless America,” “America the Beautiful,” or “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” today because it’s the Sunday before Independence Day. The songbook from my church did not have the “patriotic songs” section found in the Baptists, Methodist, or Presbyterian hymnals of my youth, so we never sang these songs in my church. We only sang very traditional hymns, like “Rock of Ages,” “Amazing Grace,” etc. Nothing adorned the knotty pine walls of the small church I grew up in. The only decoration in the church was a side table with a large Bible on a lower shelf and a vase of flowers on top. Two very plain simple cane bottomed deacon chairs sat behind the pulpit. It was the only church I knew with such simple décor. The Southern Baptist church where I was forced to attend vacation Bible school every summer was far more elaborate. Behind the pulpit stood the Christian flag and the American flag. The same was true of the Presbyterian church where I had piano recitals and the Pentecostal church my best friend attended. 

Politics or patriotism rarely made an appearance in my church, but it did in many other churches across the country. In the United States, patriotism and religion have been interwoven into American theology. These churches believe in a Christian faithfulness where God desires America to do great, to be great, has ordained America to be at the top, and that America has been baptized by the Church. While this is not something I was taught or ever believed, it’s unrealistic for us not to realize that in the United States, Christianity and patriotism are seemingly inextricably woven together, especially in the Republican Party. As the world changes and equality and acceptance grows, the United States will no longer be able to claim (whether it was ever true or not) that America is a beacon of freedom, “the land of the free and the home of the brave.” If we do not either follow the ethical tenets of most religions, including the teachings of Christ or throw off the chains of the uniquely American version of Christianity, then America will fall further and further behind the quest for human rights for all. We saw that it 2016 when evangelicals backed Donald Trump for president. They abandoned morality for power, and the conservative Supreme Court he created is proving to be a victory for American evangelicals.

Even though the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution says, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,” religion has been intricately laced in with American history. In 1630, the first ships of the Great Puritan Migration sailed to the New World, led by John Winthrop. During the crossing, Winthrop preached a sermon entitled “A Model of Christian Charity.” He told his followers that they had entered a covenant with God according to which he would cause them to prosper if they maintained their commitment to God. In doing so, their new colony would become a “City upon a Hill,” meaning that they would be a model to all the nations of Europe as to what a properly reformed Christian commonwealth should look like. Since then, politicians have used the “city upon a hill” analogy for political purposes to push for American exceptionalism.

“A Model of Christian Charity” serves as an important text in United States history, conveying the optimistic, confident, community-focused mindset in which the New England colonies were founded. Perry Miller, a historian considered one of the founders of American Studies, wrote that the sermon “stands at the beginning of [the] consciousness” of the American mind. Several figures in U.S. politics—beginning as early as John Adams—have referenced this text in public speeches when trying to convey themes of unity and idealism, most often citing the symbol of “a city upon a hill.” In his 1980 Election Eve speech, Ronald Reagan asserted his belief that “Americans…are every bit as committed to that vision of a shining city on a hill, as were those long-ago settlers.” More recently, public figures have utilized the sermon to argue how far the United States has strayed from its values. In his blistering critique of the then-presidential candidate and the future twice impeached and disgraced former president, 2012 Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney posited that “Trump’s personal qualities would mean that America would cease to be a shining city on a hill.” The disgraced former president tried his hardest to destroy the United States, ironically, with the help of American evangelicals.

However, most politicians do not pay attention to the rest of Winthrop’s sermon. They focus on the “city upon a hill,” but not on the rest of the message. Winthrop used logical reasoning combined with a sympathetic nature to make his point to the new Puritan settlers. To remove this work’s central arguments about love and relationships is to lose the sense of the whole completely. The Governor laid out his argument for charity and decent human behavior in the community. While exceptionalism was one of the sermon’s themes, Winthrop explained how God chose the small group of Puritans on the boats to go to America to carry out their mission. He also mentioned how the rest of the world would watch them. This is the part that politicians have always latched onto, but they often ignore the other main points of the sermon. Winthrop believed that charity, giving to others who need help—not only the poor but also the community—would make the new lands the “city upon a hill” in his view of exceptionalism. Winthrop also believed that communalism reflected the Puritan ideals of “love, unity, and charity.” He mentioned that people have different things to offer each other, and this induced a need for each other, helping the community. He also said that different types of people were on the ship during the sermon but had the same goal of serving God. This was also represented by people being different parts of one body. Through his use of language connected to women’s work, such as “knit,” Winthrop suggests the importance of women in holding the community together. It’s amazing how much is forgotten by the politicians who use a small part of the sermon for their purposes, much like how many “Christians” cherry pick the Bible to suit their needs instead of looking at Christ’s central message of love and hope, faith, and charity.

Many patriotic evangelical Christians use the Bible to defend their ideas that God is pro-government (or, more specifically, He favors their preferred brand of government). They often use Matthew 22:21, in which Jesus says, “Render therefore to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.” It’s a radical statement publicly declaring that Caesar and Rome weren’t God. Most Roman emperors advocated the belief that they were gods and should be worshiped. In this passage, Jesus is warning us to avoid such thinking.

Romans 13:1 is also often used by people to defend their political allegiances: “Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God.” But these texts have a significant caveat, where the authors presuppose that this “submitting” is coinciding—and never contradicting—the supreme call to love God and love others. This becomes obvious when looking at other passages that explicitly say so, such as Matthew 22: 36-40:

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

Christians using Romans 13 as a defense to support various political viewpoints at the expense of loving others are also ignoring the words of Peter in Acts 5:29 when he tells the apostles, “We must obey God rather than men” and the teachings of Jesus himself when he proclaimed in Matthew 6:24, “no one can serve two masters.” Separating patriotism and Christianity is difficult for many modern American Christians to comprehend because they often incorporate nationalism and patriotism into much of their religious expression and even their faith. Churches celebrating the Fourth of July by adorning their sanctuaries with American flags and incorporating America and American nationalism into songs of worship would have been alarming and even considered blasphemous for the first followers of Jesus.

The challenge for Christians is to simultaneously honor the virtues of sacrifice, service, and freedom without idolizing American exceptionalism and Christian nationalism, celebrating bravery without romanticizing violence, and realizing that our salvation comes from the sacrifices of Jesus and not the wars of men. For those raised in churches that interwove Christianity with patriotism, it may not seem a big deal that our country’s flag stands alongside a pastor onstage but try to imagine the apostle Paul and the earliest churches pledging their allegiance to Caesar and the conquering legions who were slaughtering anybody who stood in their way. As citizens of the United States, we’re trying to follow Christ within a similar context as the earliest Christians—living within a powerful empire and susceptible to state-sponsored religion, where it’s socially, politically, and economically advantageous to adhere to certain political beliefs and leaders—even to the point of becoming a pseudo-theocracy.

Unfortunately, Christians have been historically gullible to nationalistic “Christianity.” They often treat our faith as a civic religion to establish a voting bloc and create enough influence to legislate laws, gain wealth, and consolidate power rather than sacrificially serve and love others. The American version of Christianity often perverts the life and mission of Jesus because instead of forgiving enemies, the state spends billions of dollars to kill them. Instead of caring for the poor, politicians villainize them. Instead of accepting the foreigner, they ban them. Instead of helping the oppressed, they further alienate them. While it’s clearly possible to be both an American and a Christian, we must realize that the goals of our country’s government and those of Christ are rarely the same and often directly contradict each other, especially under Republican administrations.

Many right-wing politicians and evangelicals Christians are terrified of the phrase “separation of church and state.” The problem with the comingling of church and state is that only one brand of religion gets instituted for all people in the country. In America, it is often the perverted version of American Christianity that tries to legislate our morals and bodies. Suppose American Christianity had latched onto the charity, communalism, and unity in Winthrop’s “A Model of Christian Charity” instead of American exceptionalism. In that case, the link between religion and politics might not be so bad, and that’s why the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution says, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” The Founding Fathers knew that when it came to church and state if you gave an inch, religious leaders would take a mile. There had to be a clear separation of church and state.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of The Lord.   

—Ephesians 6:1-4 

Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. Buy truth, and do not sell it; buy wisdom, instruction, and understanding. The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice.  

—Proverbs 23: 22-25

I know there are at least a few dads out there who read my blog, maybe even two gay dads out there raising sons and/or daughters, and I want to wish you a very Happy Father’s Day.  Just like mothers, fathers can drive us crazy.  Most of us may not have been as close to our fathers as maybe we should have been or should be, but all of us have a father somewhere.  Besides wishing you fathers out there a Happy Father’s Day, I also wanted to tell you about my father.

We are very different in so many ways. He is very outdoorsy: he hunts, fishes, and constantly works outdoors. I was always a bookworm who liked books better than sports. I’ve learned to like the outdoors: I walk nature trails, I like to hike, and I even like to fish occasionally. Whereas my father worked outside all his life, I prefer to work inside, research, writing, teaching, etc. There are a lot of other differences as well. We can generally have a conversation for about 15-20 minutes before we get into some type of argument. My father has never felt I was right about anything. I can be agreeing with him, and he will fuss at me for agreeing with him. No matter what I say, he will say the opposite. One example is that I once made a remark about a house being painted white (it used to be gray). He argued with me that the house was painted gray, just a lighter shade. Everyone else I know says the house is white, but he still says that it is gray. Often he tells me that I am not a very pleasant person to be around. It’s odd because, as far as I know, he’s just about the only person I know who feels that way. It’s that sort of thing that drives me crazy. Needless to say, we barely get along. I love him, but I don’t like him. He can be very cruel and frustrating.

To switch gears a little bit, I want to tell you also how great my father can be without me ever knowing it. This is part of the reason that I forgive so much of the misery he causes me. When my parents found out I was gay, it was a very traumatic experience for all concerned. My mother had suspected for quite a while and was very nosy. She checked my email. She didn’t like some of the emails that she saw. Most of them, if not all, were fairly innocent, but there were some, like an ad from Showtime about “Queer as Folk” and maybe another one from gay.com. I was over at my grandmother’s checking on her when my mother called me and confronted me about it. I was tired of denying it. All of my friends knew, so why shouldn’t she. I knew she wouldn’t like it. She had confronted me several years before about it, and I denied it then. I wasn’t ready, and to make sure that I never was, my mother told me, “If you would rather have a dick up my ass, then be part of this family, then leave. We will have nothing more to do with you.” When this time came around, we got into a huge argument. I yelled, she yelled, and I left. I was still dependent on them for some things, but I could live without them. My mother went to bed and cried for the next two weeks. By the way, this all happened two days before Christmas while I was home on Christmas break. My mother did get up and do the family things the holiday required but was very cold toward me the whole time. When my father got home, he talked to my mother about what was wrong. She told him. She tells him everything. This was one of the times when he sided with me.

He told my mother that I was their child. She could not stop loving me just because she did not agree with my “lifestyle.” He would continue to love me, and she would have to do the same. No matter what his children did, they would still love them (it may have helped that my sister married a complete and total jackass, who doesn’t physically abuse her, but abuses her mentally). Then he came and talked with me. He told me that he didn’t care what I told my mother, but to tell her something or she would die in that bed in there (you don’t know my mother, but she would have). Then he told me what surprised me the most, “I should have taught you how to fight the urges. I am sorry that I failed you.” It is the only time my father ever apologized to me for anything. I never asked about the “urges,” but I am pretty sure I know what he was talking about. I think he knew exactly how I felt, and it may be why he is such a miserable person. Maybe, he had been there himself, but he had chosen a different path. This may be why they still believe it is a choice. But I see the misery in him almost every day. I went to my parents and told them both that I was celibate and would remain that way, that I had never acted on my sexuality (yes, it was a lie, but it was one I think was and still is for the better, even though I hate lying more than anything). They made me promise that I would not tell anyone else in the family, and I have agreed to that. Eventually, I told my niece, who came out as transgender. Our family has become a “Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t discuss” zone. It is not my preference, but it is what I must deal with for the time being. If I ever find a man to live my life with, I will deal with the other consequences then. I don’t think I could hide from my family the love of my life (if he ever comes along). My mother continues to be the queen of denial and believes I will find the right girl and get married someday.

They still consider my being gay a lifestyle choice. I never will. I don’t believe I would have chosen to be gay. I would have chosen to live a more open life, but that is mostly not possible where I lived back then. I have a different job now and live 1200 miles away. I am far happier being open and honest about my sexuality. I know what makes me happy, and after a lot of prayer and meditation, God told me that love is what matters most in this world. I came to understand that if I lived a lie and married a woman, I would make her and my life miserable (somewhat like my father has). If I was going to be alone, then I would be alone. At least I wouldn’t be hurting someone else. I realize that some people had more pressures to get married and have a family and come out later in life. I do not fault them for that. It was a different time and/or different circumstances. But in this day and age, I felt I could not lie to myself or anyone else and spend a large portion of my life as a lie.

Therefore encourage each other and edify one another, just as you also are doing.

—1 Thessalonians 5:11

There is a quote by Dolly Parton that says, “If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.” I think of days when I am feeling depressed or worried, and it’s hard to put a smile on my face. It is times like that when you need someone to remind you there is a reason to smile. Smiles can be infectious. I know if I see someone smile, I smile back. I do the same thing when someone winks at me (I wink back), or if someone yawns around me (it causes me to yawn).

If we think about the Golden Rule, i.e., Luke 6:31, “And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise,” if you want someone to smile at you, shouldn’t you do the same for them. You never know what someone else is going through. They may be in a bad mood one day and make you angry, or they are just a miserable person on a regular basis. We should think about why they are in a bad mood or such a miserable person. Something in their life is not going well, and we just don’t know what it is. Therefore, sometimes all you can do with people like that is to be friendly and smile. It may just be what they need.

Romans 14:19 says, “Therefore, let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may build up another.” We deal with difficult people every day, but if we stoop to their level and are also difficult, then we are not pursuing “the things which make for peace.” Instead, we are just reinforcing their difficult behavior. When I deal with difficult people, and I do nearly every weekday, I smile, I am pleasant, and I don’t let them know how miserable I think they are.

In the song “When You’re Smiling” popularized by Louis Armstrong, Frank Sinatra, and others, it says:

When you’re smilin’, when you’re smilin’
The whole world smiles with you
When you’re laughin’, when you’re laughin’
The sun comes shinin’ through

But when you’re cryin’, you bring on the rain
So stop that cryin’, be happy again
Keep on smilin’, ’cause when you’re smilin’
The whole world smiles with you

When you’re smilin’, when you’re smilin’
The whole world, it smiles with you
When you’re laughin’, oh babe, when you’re laughin’
The sun would-a come shining through

But when you’re cryin’, you bring on the rain
So, stop that sighin’, come on and be happy again
Keep on smilin’, ’cause when you’re smilin’, baby
The whole world smiles with you

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 

—Proverbs 15:1

Like the old saying, “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar,” Proverbs 15:1 tells us that being polite and flattering is more effective than being hostile or demanding. Proverbs 15 consists of thirty-three verses that, in various forms, tell us the difference between a wise man and a foolish man. Proverbs 15:2 says, “The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.” Mark Twain said, “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” In a way, Twain condensed Proverbs 15 into one sentence. 

Often, people will try to do everything independently, but then they are not using all their available resources. We should listen to criticism or praise and learn from it. Proverbs 15:12 says, “A scoffer does not love one who corrects him, nor will he go to the wise.” If you find yourself with a problem you do not know how to fix, seek the answer from someone who does. Proverbs 15:28 says something similar, “The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil,” in other words, “Think before you speak.”

When studying history, we are taught to be objective and to look at all the sources before reaching a conclusion. You may go in with preconceived ideas, but you have to be open to finding evidence that disproves your biased assessment. The same lesson is given in Proverbs 15:22, “Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established.” If you only go on your assumptions, you might find the evidence to back up your claims, but if you look at an issue objectively and study all of the sources, you have a balanced and far more accurate portrayal of an event. 

The other lesson from Proverbs 15 is summed up in Proverbs 15:7, “The lips of the wise disperse knowledge, but the heart of the fool does not do so.” One of the problems with 24-hour news stations is that they follow an old tradition from print newspapers. In the early years of the newly formed United States, the American press grew rapidly during the First Party System (1790s-1810s) when both parties sponsored papers to reach their loyal partisans. Newspapers often told their political affiliation in the paper’s name, such as the Baltimore Republican or the Delta Democrat-Times in Mississippi.

In the same way, news channels have a predetermined perspective they want to portray, and they find the evidence to prove it, even if it skews what was said or written. They no longer spell out what party affiliation they pander to in their name, but we know who’s who anyway. They are often inflexible in their views, and their viewers become the same way. Most of these news channels claim to follow a more balanced version of the truth. They don’t. Proverbs 15:14 warns us, “The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouth of fools feeds on foolishness.” People watch the different news channels to be told what they want to hear instead of what is happening. Some are better than others at leaning more towards the truth, but all of them are flawed because their goal is to get viewers, and they attract viewers by telling them what they want to hear.

The primary purpose of Proverbs 15 is to tell us to “think before we speak,” “seek counsel from wiser people,” and “take criticism well.” These three things are challenging for some people, especially independent and strong-willed people. We all know that one person with no filter, and they speak before they think. We all know the person who forges ahead, trying to prove they know what they are doing when they need to ask for help. And here is one that I am sometimes bad at, we need to listen and learn from criticism, not get angry when someone tries to tell you something is incorrect or poorly worded. An old saying says, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Though there is also the Southern version, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.”

All of us are guilty of not following the advice of Proverbs 15. Sometimes we feel the world is moving too fast to stop and think, ask for help, or listen to advice. So, I challenge you today to take life a little slower. Consider how your words affect others, and seek help when needed.

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

—Proverbs 17:17

Few things in this life are better than true friends. If I were ever to marry, I would want him to be my best friend. There is no greater love. John 15:13 says, “Greater love has no one than this than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” For true friends, we will never forsake them, and we will do anything for them. Proverbs 12:26 tells us, “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.”

Friendship should be the same love we have for Jesus; He is our friend and guide. As one of my favorite hymns says, “What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!” On more than one occasion, I poured out my soul to one of my friends; then, I realized how selfish I was in only talking about myself. My friends have always said, “That’s what friends are for. We listen when you need us.” I have said the same to my friends when they tell me their woes. Jesus is always there to listen to our troubles, and if we are to live a life that imitates Jesus, then we should listen to the good and the bad our friends go through.

Romans 8:38-39 illustrates to us what kind of love and friendship we have with God, “For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” When I think of how God is always there for us, I always think of the poem “Footprints in the Sand,” or sometimes, it’s simply called “Footprints.” I’m sure that most of us know the poem. My grandmother kept this poem on the wall of her bedroom, so it has always had a special place in my heart and makes me think of her. 

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You’d walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why, when I needed
You the most, You would leave me.”

He whispered, “My precious child,
I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you.”

We sometimes forget that God is with us. In our most trying times, he is carrying us. The poem “Footprints,” nobody actually knows who wrote it, was probably inspired by Deuteronomy 1:29-31, “Then I said to you, ‘Do not be terrified, or afraid of them. The Lord your God, who goes before you, He will fight for you, according to all He did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness where you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, in all the way that you went until you came to this place.'”

Our true friends are there for us because of God. I think God brings people into our lives. We may sometimes wonder if God has forsaken us, but He never will. God is there with us, and our true friends will also be there. God works in mysterious ways, and sometimes when we need Him the most, he helps us through our friendships on Earth. A true friendship is eternal, just as our relationship with God is eternal.

*Some of you may notice that the man walking alone on the beach is naked. I don’t usually use images of naked men on my Sunday posts, but I thought this picture was the best one for this post. If we think about it, we are all naked before God. He hears our innermost thoughts and sees everything we do.