Yesterday was a long day, for a number of reasons. There was just a lot to do. I was talking with friend last night and after I mentioned how tired I was, he ordered me to bed. As soon as we quit talking and I got undressed, my head hit the pillow and I was sound asleep. I’m still a bit sleepy this morning.

Also, I got a bit of disappointing news yesterday. Kacey Musgrave and Kip Moore aren’t going to be with Lady Antebellum Saturday but Scotty McCreery an Love and Theft will be with Lady Antebellum. The concert had been moved from a previous date to Saturday and I guess it messed up the schedules of the artists. I really had wanted to see Kacey.

Nothing, not one damn thing seemed to go right today. The most important thing was that I hurt a friend by accident. I was an insensitive ass, and I didn’t even realize it until it was too late. It’s one of my great character flaws. For the past few weeks, I have been pulled in a dozen different directions and trying to juggling so many things at once. And I’m just fucking tired of it. I’m tired of being angry at people for not doing things like they are supposed to (or the way I think hey should be done–I can be a bit of a control freak at times). I’m tired of being angry at the world and accidentally taking it out on others. I’m tired of not being sensitive enough for my friends because I can’t juggle everything at once, when there are certain people who I want to be my sole focus, even if they live so far away. And when one of those people really needed me today, I wasn’t there for him and it tears me up inside.

I think I was too focused on other things that were going wrong with my day, which is not an excuse. I’m trying to teach my classes and create a DVD of the recording of the play we did, but when I tried to purchase the software to make the DVD, they won’t accept my payment. First my bank rejected it thinking it was a fraudulent purchase, and after I got that straightened out, now the software company won’t take a payment from me at all. The thing is that I really liked this software. I have looked at several different programs to use, but all of them are either very difficult for me the figure out, or I’m unable to purchase the software, or they are a crappy software that won’t work with the videos, or it’s one of the numerous other problems I’ve run into trying to make this DVD. (If anyone has a suggestion for a DVD creator, please let me know. I’d greatly appreciate it.)

Then after staying after school late to figure the DVD shit out (after dealing with uncaring students all day), I get home to find out three other bad pieces of news. First, I’d hurt my friend more than I thought, and I can only beg for forgiveness. Second, I was supposed to go to a concert on Saturday, but it’s been cancelled because the large amounts of rain we’ve received recently has flooded the amphitheater. The concert has been postponed until May 3. Not that bad of a problem but the person I was going with will be out of state and can’t go on the rescheduled date. Then I find out that I’m being told since I’m not going to the concert that I have to attend a wedding shower, and my family is mad at me because I said that I would not go. I’ve had so much going on the last few weeks, that if I’m not going to the concert, I refuse to do a damn thing on Saturday.

I apologize for the harsher tone and language of this post, but I’m just so angry and frustrated and tired right now, I can either scream or cry or both. So I needed a ranting post. I feel like such a shitty person right now, and I feel sorry for anyone who gets in my way. I tend to get angry and lash out when I am so frustrated. Therefore, I am going to post this now, get it off my chest, stay in my bedroom, and try to relax. I hope tomorrow is a better day. If I calm down enough to write a post for tomorrow, then I will do so, but one of two things are going to happen, if I don’t wrote a post, I may just post a picture.

I just hope things get better and my friend finds it in his heart to forgive me, not to mention the friends I need to email that I haven’t in the last few weeks because I have been so busy. I also hope that my frustration level decreases. It really needs to, and I just need to calm down and quit being frustrated with myself.

I went to bed early last night, and slept in some today. It’s raining and nasty here today, so I wish I could just stay in bed, but I’ve got a long list of things that need to be done today, so I guess I had better get to them.

Have a wonderful Friday, everyone.

I won’t be going on my cruise. My mother called early this morning to tell me that my aunt passed away last night. It’s more important that I go spend time with my family and help comfort them than trying to go out and have a good time.

At least this way, I can pick up HRH myself from the vet (they plan on letting her come home Monday), and the money I would have spent on the cruise can go to taking care of vet bills.

I had so looked forward to getting away for a little while and putting my trouble behind me, just for a short while. I guess that I was just not meant to go on this cruise.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7

I can’t help but be anxious at the moment, and I fear my prayers alone will not be enough. I am asking for your prayers as well. My aunt who has been in the hospital for weeks with ARDS has been having improvements and setbacks. Her health has been a bit of a roller coaster, and I’m not sure how things are going to end up. My mother and the rest of my aunt’s immediate family are being called in this afternoon at 2:30 to speak with the doctor. We do not know if this is good news, bad news, or no news at all. All we can do is pray and hope that my aunt will either respond to the treatments better or they have a better treatment to offer. I just don’t know, so I need your prayers.

HRH also desperately needs your prayers. I just returned from another vet visit. She has not been able to urinate at all, so I called the vet last night and he said to bring her in first thing this morning. Because she is female it is unlikely that she has blockage which could be fatal (that mostly occurs with males). They were able to get some urine (and sorry if this is TMI), and found no red blood cells, though way too many white blood cells. The infection has not responded to the treatments or antibiotics she has received. Therefore, he feels he needs to be more aggressive and run more tests. The two good things are that there is no visible tumor in the bladder or red blood cells in the urine, which most likely rules out cancer (though not completely because a tumor might be flat and surrounding the bladder). He will give her IV fluids to help flush out her bladder and inject her with antibiotics. Once they can fill the bladder, they will draw urine directly from the bladder to get an us contaminated sample to send off (hopefully to Auburn University, one of the nation’s best veterinarian schools) to be further tested. The vet’s office will be keeping her for these more aggressive treatments probably until Friday.

If I weren’t leaving on my cruise this weekend, I might could rest a little easier, but I hate to be gone a week while my aunt’s condition is still so uncertain and while HRH is so sick. I’m desperately praying for improvements from both so I won’t worry so much when I am gone. I am a worrier, and I can’t help but be anxious. It is taken everything in me not to burst into tears. I nearly did so in front of the vet today (though I did when I got back in my car), and then again when I talked to my mother about my aunt. Therefore, I am praying, and I ask that you pray with me.

In the early 20th century, Florence Nightingale, a pioneer of modern nursing, was a believer in the effects of prayer. She wrote, “Often when people seem unconscious, a word of prayer reaches them.” Though studies have often been inconclusive about the power of prayer (really it’s according to the source that is consulted), I have faith in God at he will guide us through difficult times.

This man may deserve to win “Grandfather Of The Year.”

In this incredible letter, a grandfather passionately addresses his daughter’s decision to kick her gay son out of the house after he decided to come out of the closet. Though we don’t have the full details surrounding the incident, the grandfather tells his daughter that “kicking Chad out of your home simply because he told you he was gay is the real ‘abomination’ here. A parent disowning her child is what goes ‘against nature.'”

As more young people feel comfortable enough to identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT), an increasing amount of extraordinary letters such as these from supportive family members have been appearing on social media.

In wake of his daughter’s apparent disavowal of her gay son, this grandfather seems to be stepping up to the plate when it comes to his care and well-being: “He was born this way and didn’t choose it more than he being left-handed. You, however, have made a choice of being hateful, narrow-minded and backward. So while we are in the business of disowning children, I think I’ll take this moment to say goodbye to you. I now have a fabulous (as the gay {sic] put it) grandson to raise…”

Check out the rest of this beautiful and inspiring letter, which first appeared here at FCKH8.com’s Facebook page, above.