What Will It Profit a Man?

For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?

 Mark 8:36  

In this fraught time in our nation’s life, it is impossible to ignore the unsettling reality: a large portion of American politicians, and many ordinary citizens who call themselves Christians, have thrown their full support behind a man whose words and deeds contradict the teachings of Christ at nearly every turn. They defend cruelty, deceit, and corruption, often excusing it as political necessity. And it is heartbreaking to witness beloved family members — even parents who once taught us values of kindness and humility — swept up in a movement built on pride, division, and hatred.

How can this be? How can those who profess Christ justify following a leader who “calls evil good, and good evil” (Isaiah 5:20), who mocks the poor, exploits fear, and sows hatred for neighbor? Jesus Himself warned us of this kind of moral compromise in Mark 8:36: “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?”

This is a piercing question for our time. It exposes the heart of the problem: many have chosen political power, wealth, or cultural dominance over the integrity of their own souls. They believe that by aligning themselves with worldly success — even if it requires abandoning truth, compassion, and decency — they will come out on top. But Jesus teaches otherwise: such a bargain leads only to ruin.

The Apostle Paul reminds us plainly in 1 Timothy 6:10, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.” While “money” here may mean literal wealth, it also points to the hunger for worldly power and influence. Many today justify their allegiance to a man who elevates himself above others and calls it “winning,” but Jesus warned that “whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted” (Matthew 23:12).

Even more alarming is the distortion of Christianity itself. Some declare that this man is “chosen by God,” despite his public mockery of Christian faith, his encouragement of violence, and his utter disregard for the teachings of Jesus, who preached love, mercy, and peace. Yet Scripture is clear: “God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him” (1 John 4:16). Can one truly abide in Christ while supporting hate, division, cruelty, and lies?

Jesus said plainly: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34–35). Not by tribal loyalty. Not by political identity. By love.

When those who claim to follow Christ align themselves with what is unloving, unjust, or cruel, they reveal that they have forgotten His way. In doing so, they risk their very souls — not in the sense of a simple transactional punishment, but because they are being formed in the image of what they worship. If you worship power, you become hardened. If you worship hatred, you grow bitter. If you excuse lies, you become unable to see truth.

Mark 8:36 compels us to ask: What is worth more — temporary worldly gains, or the health and wholeness of the soul? If we win the world but lose compassion, if we gain influence but forfeit integrity, what have we truly won? Nothing. We have traded away what matters most.

In this moment, each of us must choose — not just once, but daily — whether we will abide in the love of Christ or follow the siren call of power and division. “Choose this day whom you will serve” (Joshua 24:15). Will we cling to Christ, who is Love, who is Truth, who is the Prince of Peace? Or will we give ourselves over to what is false and fleeting?

As you consider the words of Jesus — “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?” — ask yourself: Where in my life am I tempted to trade integrity for comfort, truth for approval, or love for power? Do the leaders and causes I support reflect the heart of Christ — or the ambitions of the world? How can I more fully embody Jesus’ command to love one another, even when it is difficult or unpopular? May we each seek daily to choose love, truth, and the way of Christ, no matter the cost.The soul of the Church in America — and the soul of every individual — is at stake.


Pic of the Day


Moment of Zen: Summer Reading

Summer has always felt like the perfect season to escape into a good book. Back in grad school, I kept a growing stack of books by my bedside all year long—almost always gay fiction, mostly lighthearted romances or mysteries—waiting patiently for summer break when I wasn’t buried in academic reading. There’s something especially satisfying about choosing what you want to read and getting lost in a story just for fun. So I’m curious—what are you reading this summer? Do you pick lighthearted fiction, or dive into something more serious like history, biography, or true crime?


Pic of the Day


Easing Into the Weekend

Ideally, this would be my look today… but since waistbands aggravate my back pain, it’s more like the second pic after the page jump. 😏

It’s been a tough week, and I have to admit I haven’t been able to sit at my desk long enough to pull together the male nude in art post I had planned. Between the limitations of my back and the haze of my current medication, it’s probably for the best—I’m not sure what I might’ve written while loopy on muscle relaxers anyway.

The back spasms seem to be easing up, thankfully, but the pain that shoots down my leg hasn’t let up. Walking remains difficult, and even standing still can feel like a small form of torture. I’ve got to brave the shower this morning—painful as it may be—because I have an errand to run early. After that, I fully intend to do as little as possible. Just rest, relax, and give my body a chance to heal.

Isabella has been mostly patient with me throughout all this. She’s even refrained—mostly—from walking or lying on the lower half of my body, which is a miracle in itself. Twice this week, she let me sleep until 5:00 a.m., and once until 5:30! Every cat I’ve ever had has seemed to sense when something was wrong, mentally or physically, and done their best—within the limits of feline behavior—to make things easier. She’s no exception.

Wishing all of you a restful and restorative weekend. Be kind to yourselves.

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Pic of the Day


Doctors, X-rays, and More Medications, Oh My!

After three weeks of worsening right-sided lower back pain and sciatica, I followed up with my doctor yesterday morning. The pain radiates from my lower back through my glute and spirals down my leg to the top of my foot—sometimes feeling like fire in the lower leg. It’s particularly aggravated when I try to walk upright or wear anything that presses against my waist. Getting dressed is an ordeal, and some days I end up in the loosest, softest clothing possible—more accurately draped than worn—while I try to find a semi-comfortable position on the couch.

We also talked about some of the stranger symptoms I’ve been experiencing—odd sensory disturbances, like feeling a blanket over my legs when nothing is there. My physical exam pointed to probable nerve root involvement—likely L5, though L3 or L4 could also be affected. Thankfully, there were no red flags like muscle weakness or foot drop. The steroid I’ve been taking (dexamethasone) hasn’t helped much, though oxycodone gives me a few hours of temporary relief.

My treatment plan now includes continuing the steroid and anti-inflammatories, switching to Flexeril for muscle relaxation, and a higher dose of oxycodone for pain control. I’m staying on gabapentin and Tylenol as well. X-rays of my lumbar spine have been ordered, since the spine specialist won’t see me without them. We also discussed my upcoming liver MRI at UVM, but unfortunately, it can’t be modified to scan my lower back. The liver MRI is a specialized study to measure scarring and uses different protocols than spinal imaging. Plus, the hospital plans to bill for two separate MRIs—not just one. And since most spine MRIs aren’t ordered until symptoms persist beyond six weeks (I’m currently at week three), we’re holding off on that for now.

All of that was already weighing heavily on me when last night brought something new: a zing of pain so sharp it made me jump. I accidentally touched a spot on the top of my foot, and it felt like an electric shock—like the nerve pain was suddenly shooting outward from my body instead of into it. It was a strange, almost surreal sensation. That’s when the lower half of my leg started aching fiercely, from knee to foot. It felt like the pain was caught in a funnel cloud, swirling away and dragging my nerves with it.

I probably overdid it yesterday—between the doctor’s appointment, the pharmacy, and picking up some orders at Walmart and Kohl’s, I was on my feet more than I’ve been in a while. I thought I was pacing myself, but apparently my body had other plans.

Today I’m trying to rest again. It’s hard not to get discouraged, but at least I know I have a treatment plan in motion and a few more pieces of the puzzle. I just hope tonight brings a better kind of stillness.

Have you ever experienced pain that felt… strange? Not just sharp or dull, but eerie—like your body was telling you something in a language you didn’t understand?

And here is your Isabella Pic of the Week:


Pic of the Day


The Search for Relief

This morning I have a doctor’s appointment to figure out what’s going on with my back. Over the past several days, the pain has become much worse and nearly impossible to ignore.

It started as lower right back pain, but now it spirals downward in a strange, radiating pattern — wrapping around my thigh, then shooting straight down my leg all the way to my foot. Walking is tricky at best. I can take maybe two to four steps upright before the intense pain kicks in, or I can shuffle around stooped over at almost a 90-degree angle, which oddly makes the pain more manageable.

Sitting is out of the question. After just a few minutes in a chair, the pain flares and forces me to stand. The only position that gives me any real relief is lying on my couch with my lower legs slightly elevated. When the pain is at its worst, I’ve found a couple of stretches that help — either pulling my knee up to my chest or resting my ankle and gently stretching my bent leg downward.

Even getting dressed has become a bit of a challenge. Every waistband, seam, and bit of fabric seems to press exactly where it hurts most, making clothes feel more like punishment than comfort. So you can imagine how I’m “dressed” while lying here on the couch, trying to find the most comfortable position — let’s just say modesty has taken a back seat to relief.

I’m hoping the doctor can figure out what’s causing this and how to treat it. At this point, I just want to walk upright again without feeling like someone’s driving a hot poker into my back and leg.

I’ll update you all later when I know more.

Have any of you ever experienced something like this? How did you cope while waiting for answers?

UPDATE: After three weeks of worsening right-sided lower back pain and sciatica, I followed up with my doctor this morning. The pain radiates from my lower back through my glute and spirals down my leg to the top of my foot, sometimes feeling like fire in the lower leg. It gets worse when I try to walk upright or wear anything that puts pressure on my waist. There have also been some odd sensory issues, like feeling a blanket over me when there’s nothing there. My physical exam results point to likely nerve root involvement—probably L5, maybe L3 or L4—but thankfully, no red flags like weakness or foot drop. Dexamethasone (a steroid) hasn’t made much of a difference, but oxycodone gives me a few hours of relief.

The current treatment plan includes continuing with the steroid and anti-inflammatory meds, switching to a new muscle relaxer (Flexeril), and increasing my oxycodone for better pain control. I’m also staying on gabapentin and Tylenol. My doctor has ordered X-rays of my lumbar spine, which are required before the spine specialist will see me. We discussed the possibility of combining that with my upcoming liver MRI at UVM, but unfortunately that’s not possible. The liver MRI is highly specialized to measure the extent of scarring in my liver and uses different specifications than a spinal MRI. On top of that, the hospital intends to bill insurance for two separate MRIs, not one. Most MRIs for back pain aren’t done unless the problem lasts more than six weeks, and I’m currently at week three. So for now, we’re proceeding with the X-ray and spine referral, and I have a work note excusing me through next Monday. If things don’t improve, an MRI and physical therapy may be next.


Pic (Painting) of the Day

“ new selfie painting,” gouache on board
Max (artist)
@matthewcats_art (X) / @matthewcats (Instagram)