May 9, 2015

Moment of Zen: Baseball

By Joe

  I
As a middle schooler, I was realizing my attraction to guys and developing a love of baseball players.  I began to collect baseball cards of the players I particularly found hot.  The card below is the one that began my obsession.

 

Though he’s now overly pumped with steroids, I was in love when I was younger.  I collected all of his cards I could and had posters on my walls.  I think my parents were actually glad I had sports posters on my walls, it seemed more boyish.  Sadly, my Canseco posters were taken down by my mom and disappeared when she found out I was gay.  However, I still have my prized possession from those days: the Jose Canseco Dream Team baseball card.

 

Leave a comment | posted in Moment of Zen, Sports

May 8, 2015

Long Day

By Joe

 As many of you know, I wrote my posts the night ahead and schedule them for 7 am each morning.  If ever they don’t post at 7 am, then something didn’t work the way it was supposed to work.  As I was writing this at 8:15 pm, last night, I just got home from a 12 hour day at work.  Anyone who rethinks teachers are finished at 3 pm everyday are sadly mistaken.  We often bring home work, or have school functions we must attend.  I love about 40 minutes from work, so when we have a function at night, it’s not worth it to drive home, so I spent the time catching up on a few things.

By the time I got home and dealt with my crazy family for a few minutes, I am dead tired, have a headache and am going to bed early.  I’m just ready for Saturday morning because I have a all day long date with my boyfriend.  I can’t wait.  I haven’t gotten to see him since last Sunday, but we will get to spend next week together.

Leave a comment | posted in Education, Health

May 7, 2015

Time Management 

By Joe

 
Sorry y’all, I got so wrapped up in a project for school that when I finished, I realized it was far too late to write the post I had planned.  I also had a headache yesterday which didn’t exactly motivate me to come up with an alternate topic. 

I know exactly what caused yesterday’s headache.  I was outside yesterday with some of my classes, and it was so hot, that I got a tad overheated.  If I ever get too hot, especially when the sun is very bright, I never fail to get a headache.

Leave a comment | posted in Education, Health

May 6, 2015

My Life in a Cartoon Strip

By Joe

  

At least that sums up my life in academia right now.  However, I do ask that you guys pray for me (or send good vibes my way), because I’ve applied to several jobs teaching college for next fall in Iowa, Virginia, and South Carolina.  Hopefully, I’ll get a few more submitted.  So far I haven’t heard from any of the jobs I’ve applied for this year, but I’m still hoping.  I’m not sure my sanity (what very little is left of it) can survive another year of teaching high school.

By the way, just for some eye candy, if you have not seen this hot math professor from England, then it’s time that you did.  He happens to be a model, as well as holds a PhD in mechanical engineering.  Here’s one of his modeling pictures.

  

1 Comment | posted in Education, Funny

May 5, 2015

Good Ole Boys Like Me

By Joe

 

 Good Ole Boys Like Me
Lyrics by Bob McDill
Performed by Don Williams

When I was a kid Uncle Remus he put me to bed
With a picture of Stonewall Jackson above my head
Then Daddy came in to kiss his little man
With gin on his breath and a Bible in his hand
He talked about honor and things I should know
Then he’d stagger a little as he went out the door

Chorus:

I can still hear the soft southern winds in the live oak trees
And those Williams boys they still mean a lot to me
Hank and Tennessee
I guess we’re all gonna be what we’re gonna be
So what do you do with good ole boys like me

When I was in school I ran with a kid down the street
But I watched him burn himself up on Bourbon and speed
But I was smarter than most and I could choose
Learned to talk like the man on the six o’clock news
When I was eighteen Lord I hit the road
But it really doesn’t matter how far I go

YestNothing makes a sound in the night like the wind does
But you ain’t afraid if you’re washed in the blood like I was
The smell of cape jasmine thru the window screen
John R and the Wolfman kept me company
By the light of the radio by my bed
With Thomas Wolfe whispering in my head

When I was in school I ran with a kid down the street
But I watched him burn himself up on Bourbon and speed
But I was smarter than most and I could choose
Learned to talk like the man on the six o’clock news
When I was eighteen Lord I hit the road
But it really doesn’t matter how far I go

Yesterday, Michael mentioned in his comment “On another topic entirely, I was thinking of the Don Williams song from 1980, “Good Ole Boys Like Me” and you came to mind. Are you familiar with it? If not, check it out on Youtube.”  I’m terrible with putting names to songs, so I took Michael’s advice and looked up “Good Ole Boys Like Me” on YouTube.  After listening to the song, it was familiar to me, and I can understand why it would remind Michael of me.  One thing about don Williams is that nearly every song of his reminds me of someone.

Much of it does describe me, but there are a few differences.  Stonewall Jackson did not hang above my head instead it was the painting of a local lake.  Daddy’s breath never smelled like gin (he hates gin), but it did often smell of beer.  It wasn’t the smell of cape jasmine that wafted in the windows, but the sweet smell of honeysuckle.  I remember Wolfman Jack (his heyday, though, was a bit before my time), but what I fell asleep listening to was Oldies 98, and it seems like every night as I was going to bed I heard Elton John singing “Crocodile Rock.”  Oldies 98 played that song all the time.  My best friend growing up didn’t burn herself out on bourbon and speed, but she did on men and sex.  As soon as I was eighteen though, I left for college and for fourteen years, I was free, but now I’m back home in Alabama, so it didn’t matter how far I went.

 The chorus though is the best past and the most like me:

I can still hear the soft southern winds in the live oak trees
And those Williams boys they still mean a lot to me
Hank and Tennessee
I guess we’re all gonna be what we’re gonna be
So what do you do with good ole boys like me

With the exception of “soft southern winds in the live oak trees,” because here we had pecan trees and pines, the chorus could have been written about me.  Hank Williams grew up not far away and was a good friend of my grandmama who used to be his favorite dance partner.  I’ve always loved Tennessee Williams, whose plays always seemed to speak to me in a special way.  As much as I tried not to be gay growing up, “we’re all gonna be what we’re gonna be,” and in my case that would be gay.  “So what do you do with good ole boys like me?”  Well, you need to get to know us and when you do, I think you’ll love us.

And here’s an extra “good ole boy” just for fun and eye candy.  The preppy boys at the top of the post are more like me, but the one below is what we all dream of when we dream of “good ole boys.”
  

1 Comment | posted in Music, Poetry

May 4, 2015

Discrimination Behind a Religious Veil

By Joe

  
In March, Skutt Catholic High School speech coach Matt Eledge led his team to their fourth consecutive state championship. But soon after the state championships, school officials told Eledge his contract would not be renewed for the following school year. The decision came after Eledge informed the school that he and his partner, Elliot, were planning on getting married.

Students at Skutt Catholic High School in Omaha, Nebraska, are speaking out in support of an English teacher and speech team coach.  Students and fellow staffers who have launched a campaign calling for Eledge’s reinstatement have also alleged the school threatened to fire him if he told his students.

KETV reported that during the school’s annual fundraising walk, some students wore T-shirts that presented the Omaha Catholic school with a message and a challenge.  “I support Mr. Eledge,” the shirts read. The Human Rights Campaign logo was on the front, and on the back, the shirts quoted Jesus’ words from John 13:34: “Love one another as I have loved you.”

Skutt Catholic President Jon McMahon defended the decision in a letter to the school community.  “If a staff member cannot commit to Catholic church teachings and doctrines, he or she cannot continue to be on staff at Skutt Catholic,” he wrote.

Eledge, 28, has been a teacher at Skutt Catholic since 2010. He has said that he was fully aware of the risks of working at a Catholic school. But he ended up falling in love with the school — especially the speech team. He helped coach the team to four consecutive state championships, according to KETV.

“For people who don’t know the community, it seems like just another fun club, but for those involved, you develop the most meaningful relationships,” Eledge said. “You’re teaching kids how to believe in themselves, use their voices, be proud of who they are. I developed really great relationships with the kids and their family members.”

Although Eledge was single when he entered the school, he later started dating. When his partner’s mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, the two decided that they wanted to get married and make sure she could be at the ceremony.  Eledge said he took the news to school officials in early April, which is when his boss informed him that his employment contract wouldn’t be renewed.

Same-sex couples aren’t legally allowed to tie the knot in Nebraska. Omaha has an anti-bias ordinance on the books that protects LGBT people from workplace discrimination. But experts told the AP that the school is likely protected by a religious exception.

But the Skutt Catholic students certainly aren’t alone in their support for LGBT rights. Studies show that the majority of American Catholics don’t agree with the church’s official stance on gay marriage. The Public Religion Research Institute found that 61 percent of white Catholics and 60 percent of Hispanic Catholics in America support allowing gay and lesbian couples to tie the knot.  Younger Catholics are especially likely to favor legalizing same-sex marriage. A Pew Research Center study found that three-quarters of Catholics under the age of 30 support same-sex marriage.

Matthew Eledge is the latest teacher to face unemployment because a Catholic school’s administration chose not to renew his contract after officials learned about his engagement to another man.  In Des Moines, Iowa, Tyler McCubbin, a substitute teacher at Dowling Catholic High School, was denied a full-time job when administrators conducted a background check that included a scan of his Facebook page, and learned he was gay and engaged.

I believe it is rarely warranted for a church to claim religious exception, especially a Christian church who claim to follow Jesus’s example of unconditional love and except.  Furthermore, I do not believe that any religious organization should be allowed to discriminate and hide behind he law.  Sadly though, the U.S. Supreme Court set a national precedent in 2012, allowing religious schools to take sexual orientation into account in the hiring and firing of employees.

“They could certainly file a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, but it’s unlikely they’ll prevail in a claim,” said Sarah Warbelow, legal director of the Washington, D.C.-based Human Rights Campaign.  “Religious schools are going to have the ability to hire and fire teachers consistent with the school’s faith views.”  Warbelow added, “When they see a beloved teacher who has done an excellent job, being fired for celebrating a life milestone, it invokes in these students the deepening understanding of an injustice.”

What I find as one of the saddest parts of these stories is that this happened in states with LGBT protections, gay teachers like myself who teach in states where no such protections exist are at the mercy of our employer.  Alabama, being a right-to-work state, doesn’t even have to show cause for firing someone.  We desperately need LGBT protections and religious organizations should not be able to hide behind loopholes and discriminate, especially when they profess to follow Jesus, yet do the opposite of what Jesus would do 

Leave a comment | posted in Education, Religion

May 3, 2015

Christians and Mental Illness 

By Joe

 

 First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time. – 1 Timothy 2:1-6

I read an article the other day about Glenn Beck predicting that a SCOTUS ruling in support of same-sex marriage will lead to a drop of 50 percent in church attendance in the next five years “because the stigma of going to church will be too much.”

Beck, who last month suggested that the outcry following Indiana’s controversial religious freedom law would lead to Christians being put into concentration camp, said:

“Mark my words, if gay marriage goes through the Supreme Court and gay marriage becomes fine and they can put teeth in it so now they can go after churches, like the president’s lawyer says, 50 percent of our churches will fall away.  

“Meaning, within five years, 50 percent of the congregants will fall away from their church because they won’t be able to take the persecution…within five years, 50 percent of the people that you sit next to in church will not be there. And not because [they agree with marriage equality but] because they’ll say, ‘I can’t do that, I’ll lose my job, people are picketing my house, I just can’t do that.’”

The first thing I thought was that this was one of the most ludicrous things I’d ever read. Then I thought that Beck has completely lost his mind.  He is a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, was diagnosed with ADHD, and has described himself as a “borderline schizophrenic.”  After those thoughts and realizing that he really does have problems, I decided it wasn’t a very Christian way for me to think.  That led me to think about what God has to say about the mentally ill.

As I began to read about what Christian authors had to say about mental illness, it became largely discouraging. Many of the articles essentially argued that mental illness was a social construct created by secular doctors and psychiatrists, and therefore, is not biblical. So, when a person is depressed, he is really just experiencing sadness, and to try to treat it medically is to short circuit the power of God. When a person is anxious, she is really just experiencing worry, and to treat it medically is a secular answer to a spiritual problem. You get the idea.  I can understand that the authors were trying to say that  Jesus is sufficient for every facet of our lives. However, I believe that treating mental illness as only (or even primarily) a spiritual problem is both profoundly unbiblical and incredibly hurtful to those who struggle with mental illness.

I would argue that if we truly believe that physical diseases can be treated with medicine, then we must accept mental illness as a biblical category. If we believe that our mind is part of our body, including my brain, then it shouldn’t surprise me when my brain doesn’t work correctly.  Even Jesus recognized that the brain could have problems because he speaks of thinking of a sin as being as bad as committing it, though I believe it is not just the thought but the sincere desire that He was speaking of. I’m not surprised when I get a cold; why should I be surprised if I experience mental illness? To say that depression, anxiety, ADHD, bipolar, and every other disorder, are purely spiritual disorders is to ignore the fact that we are both body and soul.

Mental illness is not something invented by secular psychiatrists. Rather, it is part and parcel with living in fallen, sinful world, a world that is filled with hatred and rejection.

Treating mental illness as purely a spiritual disorder is very hurtful to those who struggle with mental illness because it points them to the wrong solution. Let me explain. For many years I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety. I experience an unwillingness to function at times because of my depression and the clutching sensation in my chest, shortness of breath, adrenaline surges, and a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I have anxiety attacks. On rare occasions, the anxiety is tied to something I’m worried about, but 90% of the time the physical symptoms I experience aren’t at all connected to worry. I’ll be working away on my computer, not thinking about anything, when the feelings of depression or anxiety suddenly descends upon me.

In those moments, I don’t need to be told not to worry. I don’t need to be told to exercise more faith in the promises of God. I don’t need to be told to snap out of it. What I need is encouragement to persevere. I need to be reminded that, even in the midst of suffering, Jesus is near. I need to be reminded that my light and momentary afflictions are producing an eternal weight of glory. I need to be encouraged to press into Jesus.  And… I need to be connected to someone who can help me deal with the physical aspects of depression and anxiety.

Here’s the unfortunate reality: even if my thinking is biblical, faith-filled, and God-honoring, my physical symptoms of anxiety and depression won’t go away. Why? Because most of the time the problem is primarily physical. Something isn’t working correctly in my brain, which in turn causes me to experience the physical symptoms of anxiety.

We must place mental illness in the same category as every other form of illness. When a person experiences chronic migraines or cluster headaches as I do, they most certainly will be tempted to doubt the goodness of God. We can serve them by encouraging them that God is good, and that he cares for them. But we also can serve them by taking them to the best migraine specialists in the country.  We must understand that all things are God’s creation, which includes antidepressants, anti anxiety medication, and pain killers.

If we’re going to effectively care for fellow Christians who struggle with mental illness, we need to recognize that mental illness is a real thing. We aren’t only souls. Rather, we are a complex composition of soul and body. Let’s make sure we address both the soul and the body.

Furthermore, let me also address what Beck actually said, and that is that the acceptance of same sex marriage and homosexuality will cause Christians to fear persecution just shows that Beck knows nothing about Christianity but only wants to spread hatred and fear.  If anything, acceptance by Christians, or at least by the majority of Americans who see no problem with LGBT equality, will strengthen our churches.  The rejecting of people because they are not your ideal of a Christian is the work of Satan and Satan alone.  Jesus turned no one away.  He brought love and acceptance and, if people stand up to the immoral, un-Christian, minority of those who spread hatred in the name of Christianity, then we may finally get back to the Christian church that Jesus established.if churches began acting like a true Christian community based on the teachings of acceptance that Jesus brought us, the. Instead of a drop in church membership, we will see a dramatic rise in church membership and attendance.  The main thing that causes a drop in church attendance is when hate is preached from the pulpit.  Instead we need the welcoming and accepting attitude of Jesus Christ. 

Leave a comment | posted in Religion

May 2, 2015

Moment of Zen: Your Comments 

By Joe

 
Reading your comments yesterday on my post  about my boyfriend were one of the highlights of my week.  The love and support you guys show is very humbling.  Thank you, very much.

Leave a comment | posted in Moment of Zen

May 1, 2015

The Boyfriend 

By Joe

I’ve been asked several times about my boyfriend.  Several people have said that it just came out of the blue, and I just started including him in my posts.  So I thought I’d do a post answering some of your questions, but my boyfriend is a private person, and we are both in the closet, so I don’t want to give away too much.
We met back in January when he sent me a message on OkCupid. It was a nice message and most importantly it was more than just a cursory “Hey, how’s it going?”  We sent a few more messages back and forth and then exchanged contact information with one another.  We began texting back and forth.  I personally hate talking on the phone.  I often can’t hear very well on the phone, and I hate the way my voice sounds over the phone.  So we basically texted back and forth getting to know each other.  Then we decided to meet, and I’ll tell you about that in a minute.

First let me tell you about my wonderful man. He’s a truly brilliant man, and I just love talking to him.  He also seems to enjoy listening to me babble on as well.  I have to say that’s an important thing.  I’ve spent my life with most people telling me I’m boring or over their head or just plain tuning me out.  My family does it and even some of my friends do, so when someone is actually interested in what I have to say, it means a great deal to me.  I’m always amazed that I have anyone who even reads this blog, but many of you keep coming back every day.

Now let me tell you something about myself that you probably don’t know.  In person, I am painfully shy unless I am very comfortable around you and know you well.  I’ve always been that way.  I was extremely nervous the first time we met. The first time we scheduled to meet, I was so nervous that I worked myself into a state of nausea and a severe headache, but a friend calmed me down and the next day we decided to try to meet again.  So we met up and he took me to lunch.  As soon as I got in his car, I knew I’d met someone very special.  I was not shy around him.  I felt at ease, and I began to talk.  I will admit that there was a little bit of hanky-panky on the way to lunch, but I’m not gonna kiss and tell all my secrets (he’s a great kisser, by the way).  After we ate lunch, we decided to go to a few thrift stores.  He loves thrift stores, and I needed some props for our play at school (a play that the kids just wouldn’t get behind, and I ended up canceling).

It was a lovely afternoon that day, and I think we both knew that it wasn’t going to be the last time we got together.  I realized that after we parted that first day how much I had talked, and to be honest, I was kind of embarrassed.  I never tal that much with someone I just met, and I was so afraid that I had monopolized the conversation.  When I told him this, he assured me that he loved every minute of it.  Since then we have gone on one or two dates each week.  He is so sweet, kind, and handsome.  I miss him every moment I’m away from him.

The highlight so far has been our mini-vacation together over spring break.  It’s kind of hard finding places to be intimate because it’s not like I can bring him home and vice versa.  So spending a few days together in a beautiful hotel in the mountains was heaven.  I’ll be house sitting for a week next month, and though we both have to work during the day, we can spend the rest of the time together and fall asleep in each other’s arms at night. In June before his daughter comes to spend the summer with him (he is divorced and has a teenage daughter), we are taking a trip to New Orleans for a few days and then going to spend a few days with a friend of mine.  By the way, the friend is the same one I told you came to visit and we all went out.  She really liked my boyfriend, and since I can’t tell my family about him, she’s the most important one I want to know because she’s like a sister to me.  Other friends that I’ve talked to about my boyfriend have been very encouraging as well.  I’m particularly grateful for the friend that calmed me down before my first date, he’s my greatest confidant.  I can’t wait to be away with him in Louisiana so that we can be out and about as a couple.  Sadly, after that I won’t get to see much of him over the summer, but we’ll still keep in touch.  I’m not letting this man get away.

Leave a comment | posted in Boyfriend

April 30, 2015

Let’s Play a Game

By Joe

  

Do y’all remember the “spot the difference” game that was always in children’s magazines?  I posted the top picture as a Moment of Zen post a couple of weeks ago.  I had no idea until I saw it on Wicked Gay Blog that there was a nearly identical picture but sans underwear.  If there are more in the set, I’d love to see them.

So here is my challenge to all of you: what are the differences in the two pictures?  Study them closely.  I’ll give you two hints: underwear (duh) and he seems to have lost his underwear between drinking the first and second cups of coffee.  Quite honestly, I’m not for sure there are many other differences, but isn’t it fun to stare at these two pictures?

2 Comments | posted in Miscellaneous