I have a big ol’ crush on the guy who works at the local Starbucks. I’m pretty sure that he has no idea and he’s several years younger than me (okay, probably 10 yrs younger, but still of legal age). He’s really cute–with dark hair and eyes, tall and skinny, with a cute little butt that I know would look fabulous naked. And you know those skinny boys always seem to be packing, LOL. He always seems happy to see me when I go in, more so than many people that come into the cafe (This may just be my imagination). The other day, he waved really big and said, “Hey man, how’s it going?” Probably means nothing, he just sees me every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon on my way to work. He is always friendly, and if he is able to do so, always strikes up a conversation, though sadly it is mostly about how beautiful the weather is that day. (People always seem to talk about the weather when they can’t think of anything to say.) I just want to say, “So, what time do you get off work? I think you are really hot and would love to get to know you better.” But, I am generally a shy person and would never do so. He probably isn’t even gay, though he has that southern gay boy sense of fashion. He wears designer accessories with his uniform (Gucci belt, designer shoes, etc.) Maybe he plays for our team, it’s nice to thank so.

By the way, the guy I have a crush on makes the best Vanilla Latte. It’s my drink of choice at Starbucks, and he always seem to make it the best. I will miss him when my job ends in May and I won’t be seeing him twice a week anymore. Oh well, I will enjoy it while it lasts, and continue to flirt twice a week.

Hot Coffee Guy has been my crush for a while.  There are actually two Starbucks guys that I have a crush on, I seem to always find guys that make my coffee to be very sexy.  We all find guys that we see on a regular basis to be attractive, and though not all of them are crushes, some of them are.  I think some flirtation and a bit of crushing on someone is good for the soul, especially if you are single.  The worst though is when they are straight, and as gay men, we all know that we have probably had fascinations/crushes on straight men at one time or another.  In today’s post, I thought I would tell you about some other crushes I have had in the past. Nothing ever happened with any of these guys. They were all straight, much to my dismay.

The first guy I ever really had a crush on was a guy I met in junior high. So I will tell you the story:

When we met, it was the first time I really knew that I was attracted to guys. Someone in my class was calling me a “faggot” or some other derogatory term for sissy or gay, though as I think back now, I doubt they knew what gay was. And to be truthful, I was not the most masculine of guys. I was tall and non-descriptively handsome, with brown hair, brown eyes, and an olive complexion, and I was the smartest person in the class, automatically making me a queer nerd. Anyway, a group of guys was calling me names and bullying me, when I hear a masculine voice tell them to stop. I looked to see a vision of beauty, not by everyone’s standards, but to me, he was a vision of beauty. He was tall, with blond hair, blue eyes, and that pinkish complexion that comes from fair skin guys who don’t tan, but burn in the sunlight. He was also as masculine as a thirteen year old can be. I fell in love, but he didn’t know that and wouldn’t all through school. We became friends, or you might say acquaintances, we didn’t hang out all the time or anything, but he was always friendly to me and took up for me when guys were bullying me. In turn I helped him with schoolwork and whatnot.

As we grew older and made our way out of middle school to high school, he became more built and handsome. He was the star jock at our school, playing football, basketball, baseball, and running track. I couldn’t compete with his athleticism, and never was very good at sports. I refused to play football, but I did play basketball, ran track, and played golf for our school. By our junior year of high school, we were the top guys in our class. I was the smartest; he the best athlete. He was always very popular, and I was mostly just tolerated. He played the sports, and I did all the other extracurricular activities…

I still run into him every now and then. He is beefier than he used to be, but he is still one fine hunk of man. Good Lord, he still makes me weak in the knees.

My second major crush was my roommate in college. He was actually a few years older than me, so he could buy alcohol before I could, and we used to get drunk together a lot. We lived together for four years, and though I tried a few times to hint that I wanted to experiment with him, he never took the bait. His most striking feature he had were his eyes. He had these beautiful clear blue eyes, that could just make you melt. It also didn’t hurt that he was one of the kindest people I have ever known and would give someone the shirt off his back if he thought they needed it. He also had an owl tattoo on his upper arm, probably the first guy I ever knew who had a tattoo. It suited him too. He had a wonderful hairy chest, and I saw him plenty of times just right out of the shower, which always made my day.

My third major crush in life was with a guy I went to grad school with. He was smart and cocky, and a few years younger than me. We became friends right after he started grad school, and for some reason we just seemed to click. I guess opposites attract because, other than studying the same thing in grad school, we were very different. He is very straight (he would go to bed with anyone who had a vagina), has blond hair and blue eyes, and had been in a fraternity. I am gay, have brown hair and brown eyes, and had never been in a fraternity. Like I said, I was a nerd growing up, but I think I have grown out of that, somewhat anyway. The most striking feature about this guy was that he had “equipment.”  He was tall and skinny and a little dorky looking, which made what he had in his pants seem even bigger. To say the least I wanted it bad. He liked to show off what he had, which drove me crazy. He also was one of those guys who had a skinny butt when he had clothes on, but a cute little butt naked. God, I miss this guy. The picture to the side really captures what the guy looked like. The facial expression and attitude of this guy reminds me so much of him.

The above three have not been my only crushes, but each played an important part in my life, whereas some of the other crushes I have had, were just passing fads.  Which crush do you remember the most?  What is the story behind it? How did he impact your life?  I would love to know, but also, I think my readers would love to hear that they are not the only ones with crushes like the ones I mentioned above.

About Joe

I began my life in the South and for five years lived as a closeted teacher, but am now making a new life for myself as an oral historian in New England. I think my life will work out the way it was always meant to be. That doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs; that's all part of life. It means I just have to be patient. I feel like October 7, 2015 is my new birthday. It's a beginning filled with great hope. It's a second chance to live my life…not anyone else's. My profile picture is "David and Me," 2001 painting by artist Steve Walker. It happens to be one of my favorite modern gay art pieces. View all posts by Joe

11 responses to “Crushes

  • Queer Heaven

    Loved your story about the Starbucks guy ! There is oneStarbucks guy here that I would give anything to turn over an do the deed with! I've been seeing him every Sunday when I get my Iced Coffee and the Sunday times for the past 4 yrs. He is sooo cute! I normally would have no problem asking him for sex, except I know he is quite straight. Maybe one of these Sundays he will ask me first!

  • Writer

    OMG, Joe! If your Starbucks crush looks anything like the guy you start this post with then I'd be crushing too. Dark hair and dark eyes are my thing…so much so that my ex's chocolate eyes are something that should be canonized! LOL

  • Coop

    My Starbucks crush was named. Isaiah and he poured THE BEST unsweetened venti Iced Coffee. He doesn't work there anymore. He's part Japanese and (I think part Spanish). GOD he's cute. I first noticed him when I was hung over, wearing clothes from the day before, and reeeeking of beer. Isaiah doesn't work there anymore.

  • Tom

    Joe, you can't let this opportunity pass. Got to find a way. What if this guy is meant to be for you? What if he feels the same way, and he surely can't approach a customer. Next time he talks about the weather, suggest that it is a good day for a walk in the park or something. "Do you get out to the park much?" Give him an opening. He may just step in that door.

  • silvereagle

    Joe…Like you I have had a couple of crushes over the years…and they were primarily waiters in various restaurants…attractive, attentive, well mannered, well dressed, and overall pleasing to the eyes. I still see one of them from time to time (he moves from restaurant to restaurant), and he still treats me in a nice way…the restaurant is the only place I see him, but the thoughts of a more personal relationship still exists~~~at least in my mind.I even tell my husband/boyfriend about him (and others as well) when I see him…We both smile and know that is about as far as it will go…

  • cr3at3d

    Joe, I have a crush on coffee itself. Morning wood is quickly replaced by the desire for that rich smell and taste and if it's served up by a handsome, sexy guy, well that's just like the the whipped cream of the encounter! It all starts the day out right 🙂 Keep flirting. Everyone likes a compliment.

  • Anonymous

    I've been followed my entire adult life by someone who is hot but out of reach. No matter what apartment or house, what city or state, I always end up living next to or across from someone who I find irresistibly handsome. (Current hottie is a 40's dad, athletic, graying hair, great smile, lives next-door.) And I agree with cr3at3d. Don't stop flirting. It makes the little things in life more fun.Dan

  • fan of casey

    Joe: I agree that perhaps you skip past the flirting and offer up something more obvious, what do you have to lose except being embarrassed a little if they decline. I also notice the cute baristas at SB. It must be a hiring requirement.

  • tamayn

    Crushes are what make us realize that the world gets too serious sometimes. The best thing to do is enjoy it. I hate to say it like this, but in getting to know him, you may destroy the illusion. It's like they say; Don't sit too close at the ballet. It ruins the illusion.

  • Mack

    I think I have a crush on the guy in the picture up top. Cute as hell!There's part of me that agrees with Tom that you can't let the opportunity pass, and there's another part of me that agrees with tamayn and thinks crushes are just crushes. Since your time there is limited, why not try and strike up more meaningful conversation in the 5 seconds it takes to get the coffee? See if the gaydar blip gets a little stronger. Maybe casually mention you're going to a concert/party/event, and then say, "You might really like it." I don't know, I'm not one to give advice on pick-ups, but I really want to see you find someone that fulfills you.

  • Eric

    Joe, have you read David Levithan's sweet short story "Starbucks Boy"? It's the perfect reading for next time you run into Mr Vanilla Latte. A good conversation starter too =)

Thank you for commenting. I always want to know what you have to say. However, I have a few rules: 1. Always be kind and considerate to others. 2. Do not degrade other people's way of thinking. 3. I have the right to refuse or remove any comment I deem inappropriate. 4. If you comment on a post that was published over 14 days ago, it will not post immediately. Those comments are set for moderation. If it doesn't break the above rules, it will post.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: