Anticipation

Anticipation

How beautiful the earth is still,

To thee – how full of happiness!

How little fraught with real ill,

Or unreal phantoms of distress!
How spring can bring thee glory, yet,
And summer win thee to forget
December’s sullen time!
Why dost thou hold the treasure fast,
Of youth’s delight, when youth is past,
And thou art near thy prime?

When those who were thy own compeers,

Equals in fortune and in years,

Have seen their morning melt in tears,

To clouded, smileless day;

Blest, had they died untried and young,

Before their hearts went wandering wrong,

Poor slaves, subdued by passions strong,

A weak and helpless prey!

” Because, I hoped while they enjoyed,

And, by fulfilment, hope destroyed;

As children hope, with trustful breast,

I waited bliss – and cherished rest.

A thoughtful spirit taught me, soon,

That we must long till life be done;

That every phase of earthly joy

Must always fade, and always cloy:

This I foresaw – and would not chase

The fleeting treacheries;

But, with firm foot and tranquil face,

Held backward from that tempting race,

Gazed o’er the sands the waves efface,

To the enduring seas – ;

There cast my anchor of desire

Deep in unknown eternity;

Nor ever let my spirit tire,

With looking for what is to be!

It is hope’s spell that glorifies,

Like youth, to my maturer eyes,

All Nature’s million mysteries,

The fearful and the fair –

Hope soothes me in the griefs I know;

She lulls my pain for others’ woe,

And makes me strong to undergo

What I am born to bear.

Glad comforter! will I not brave,

Unawed, the darkness of the grave?

Nay, smile to hear Death’s billows rave –

Sustained, my guide, by thee?

The more unjust seems present fate,

The more my spirit swells elate,

Strong, in thy strength, to anticipate

Rewarding destiny !”

Emily Jane Brontë 

Published in the 1846 collection Poems By Currer, Ellis and Acton Bell under Emily’s nom de plume ‘Ellis Bell’.
The English novelist Emily Brontë (1818-1848) wrote only one novel, “Wuthering Heights.” A unique achievement in its time, this work dramatizes a vision of life controlled by elemental forces which transcend conventional categories of good and evil. 

About Joe

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I began my life in the South and for five years lived as a closeted teacher, but am now making a new life for myself as an oral historian in New England. I think my life will work out the way it was always meant to be. That doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs; that's all part of life. It means I just have to be patient. I feel like October 7, 2015 is my new birthday. It's a beginning filled with great hope. It's a second chance to live my life…not anyone else's. My profile picture is "David and Me," 2001 painting by artist Steve Walker. It happens to be one of my favorite modern gay art pieces. View all posts by Joe

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