To Be, Or Not To Be


To be, or not to be hairy is not the question I was asking yesterday. I was however, trying to make a statement about being happy with the bodies we have and being content with nature. Just because someone, such as JiEL said in the comments, being naturally hairless is “not less manly.” Running my hands over a smooth chest is just as luxurious to me as a hairy one. I remember a particular dancer at a gay bar in Houston that was shaved, but was letting his hair grow to a stubble. I remember being incredibly turned on by that “sandpaper sensation.” The tactile sensation of hairy, hairless, or somewhere in between does not, however, mean that there is not a aesthetic pleasure to seeing a man in all his natural beauty, hairless or not.

Of course, all of this is a matter of personal taste, and when it comes down to it, I completely agree with Damien, who wrote “So I guess I mostly like the person beneath the skin, the skin beneath the hair, the hair beneath the shirt.” I also agree with Bodhisbuddy who said that his tastes have changed. As a preteen through early twenties, I too preferred as little body hair as possible on a man. As I grew older, I began to appreciate well groomed bodies with hair, and now I’m to the point where hairless looks much less appealing. Though my tastes do occasionally change, I rarely look for the very hairy. It just doesn’t appeal to me that much.

I also agree with Damien that Nick Jonas is getting too much attention over these photos. Me personally, I find his ass the most appealing thing about him, then again, I’m an ass man, so that kind of figures I’d find his attractive. It’s a nice round bubble butt.

I also agree that there is a double standard when it comes to male and female celebrities, especially those who were child stars/wholesome Disney personalities. However, and I may be adding to this double standard, but I believe that Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas took two different paths when they decided to break away from their squeaky clean personas. Miley appeared to eschew all the values that she previously seemed to embrace. Nick Jonas may be making racier photos (and not all people, were upset over Miley’s racy behavior) and he may have taken off his purity ring, but he still seems to have kept some core values. “This is a real growth in me and not something [wearing a purity ring] I’m doing anymore. But I’ve got my set of values, things that are important to me now at this point in my life and that’s all that matters,” said Jonas in a recent interview. “I’ve had an incredibly intense journey with faith and religion and my own growth. My belief in God is still very strong and important to me as a person and I think that’s all that should matter,” he continued. “I grew up in a church environment and still have love for the church.”

So i think the photos and the publicity have brought to light a few interesting things about our culture. I do believe that the lack of outcry is a reflection of the sexism still prevalent in our society. As Damien out it “Boys will be boys but girls should be ladies!” Also, the little bit of hair he shows in the mildly revealing photographs has at least raised the question of manscaping or not. I honestly think it makes for some interesting conversations, though not many are talking about it in those terms.

Thank you all for your comments. I don’t often answer comments directly, but know that I read every one of them. Please keep commenting and keep the conversation going.

About Joe

I began my life in the South and for five years lived as a closeted teacher, but am now making a new life for myself as an oral historian in New England. I think my life will work out the way it was always meant to be. That doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs; that's all part of life. It means I just have to be patient. I feel like October 7, 2015 is my new birthday. It's a beginning filled with great hope. It's a second chance to live my life…not anyone else's. My profile picture is "David and Me," 2001 painting by artist Steve Walker. It happens to be one of my favorite modern gay art pieces. View all posts by Joe

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