I woke up yesterday morning with my shoulder and neck very sore like I’d slept on it wrong or something. Usually, it gets better as the day goes on, and it seemed to do just that until last night. About 7:30 last night, the pain got exceedingly worse. I took some Aleve, then a muscle relaxer, and neither helped. I ended up going to bed early with a heating pad. I hope it will be better today and a good night’s sleep will help it.
Monthly Archives: November 2014
Novemebr
November
by William Cullen Bryant
Yet one smile more, departing, distant sun!
One mellow smile through the soft vapory air,
Ere, o’er the frozen earth, the loud winds run,
Or snows are sifted o’er the meadows bare.
One smile on the brown hills and naked trees,
And the dark rocks whose summer wreaths are cast,
And the blue gentian flower, that, in the breeze,
Nods lonely, of her beauteous race the last.
Yet a few sunny days, in which the bee
Shall murmur by the hedge that skirts the way,
The cricket chirp upon the russet lea,
And man delight to linger in thy ray.
Yet one rich smile, and we will try to bear
The piercing winter frost, and winds, and darkened air.
About William Cullen Bryant
William Cullen Bryant’s poetry is affiliated with the Romantics, often reflecting an obsession with nature and a thoughtful desire for silence and solitude. Bryant was born on November 3, 1794. An American nature poet and journalist, Bryant wrote poems, essays, and articles that championed the rights of workers and immigrants. In 1829, Bryant became editor in chief of the New York Evening Post, a position he held until his death in 1878. His influence helped establish important New York civic institutions such as Central Park and the Metropolitan Museum of Art. In 1884, New York City’s Reservoir Square, at the intersection of 42nd Street and Sixth Avenue, was renamed Bryant Park in his honor.
Why I Love Men
I love men. It’s a simple thought, really. And as an average looking, thirty something year old teacher with a few extra pounds, a little less hair, and more and more gray hair all the time who is well equipped with a sweet disposition and a fabulous brain, I can somehow manage to keep certain relationships with men intact.
I think about the men I’ve slept with, the men I want to sleep with, and those I simply admire and adore in a platonic context. So many of those men have a certain effect on me. When I see them, hear them, smell them, or just get a text from them, my heart can skip a beat and a smile comes across my face. It’s a weakness that I have for men who are nice to me.
I love the easy going conversation I can have with them. Often it doesn’t matter what the subject is, but that the conversation flows from one topic to the next, until you have no idea how you got on the subject you’re on an hour or so later. Those conversations can be so amazing and create an energy within me that’s overwhelming but calming at the same time.
I love women as well, but not in a hetero-male perspective. I admire their soft curves, physique, and snarky comebacks. I understand the poems written about them and the paintings that burst with gratitude for their existence. Women are necessary, obviously we wouldn’t be here without them, and while they might cause me to smile, they never cause my heart to skip a beat. Women also can’t hold you and comfort you and make you feel safe the same way a man can.
But I love men. I love their arms, their eyes, and their jawlines. I love the hardness of a man (yes, that kind of hardness too), but mostly the hardness of their bodies. The strength that it conveys.
I love when you get that unexpected glimpse of skin as they raise their hands, bend over, or simply when they move a certain way. I love the way a pair of Wrangler jeans hugs a man’s behind perfectly, or they way he looks when he walks in a pair of boots. I love how a nice pair of slacks perfectly hangs over his butt or gently caresses the bulge up front.
I love their calloused hands, broad shoulders, and how innocent and vulnerable they look while they’re sprawled against the sheets. I love to hear them breath as they sleep and the warmth of their body next to mine. I love the feel of their skin when it’s soft and relaxed which is a perfect contrast to their rough hands.
I love their scruff and how they feel against my neck. Sharp needles that soften; rough textures my skin eventually loosens up to. I love they way his lips feel against mine, the velvety texture of his tongue, the kisses and sucking on my body. I love the roughness of a man when he is so turned on he can’t keep his hands off of me, and I love the tenderness when we simply lay in each other’s arms.
I love seeing them cum. Explicit, but it’s true. Heavy breathing, chest rising, and their shaking thighs. Bright eyes and a wet kiss; it’s like watching a beautiful death, la petite mort as the French say. It’s a beautiful moment, that’s made even better if you get to have his hot spent load spray across your body. I love how just before he has an orgasm his manhood engorges and expands, begins to spasm, and his balls are drawn up. It’s a moment of magic that I think only another man can fully appreciate.
They are gross and intoxicating, beautiful and cautious. Just when I think I have them figured out, something changes. A different ending and a perfect lie. He comes back knocking on your door and asks for another kiss. He calls you back. He does not. He can love you enough to hold you from behind and rest his chin on your shoulder. One day he’s there and the next he’s gone. Maybe he comes back, maybe he doesn’t. Something has changed and unless it’s worth working for and keeping, then the moment is over. I keep hoping that I will find the one man for whom the moment is never over.
He will be he one that I never tire of hearing my name on his lips.
This is an adaptation of a Thought Catalog post called “Why I Love Men” by June Tegon. However, I adapted it to suit me personally using some of his writing but adding my own as well.
Just a Closer Walk with Thee
Just a Closer Walk with Thee
I am weak but Thou art strong;
Jesus, keep me from all wrong;
I’ll be satisfied as long
As I walk, let me walk close to Thee.
Just a closer walk with Thee,
Grant it, Jesus, is my plea,
Daily walking close to Thee,
Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.
Thro’ this world of toil and snares,
If I falter, Lord, who cares?
Who with me my burden shares?
None but Thee, dear Lord, none but Thee.
Just a closer walk with Thee,
Grant it, Jesus, is my plea,
Daily walking close to Thee,
Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.
When my feeble life is o’er,
Time for me will be no more;
Guide me gently, safely o’er
To Thy kingdom shore, to Thy shore.
Just a closer walk with Thee,
Grant it, Jesus, is my plea,
Daily walking close to Thee,
Let it be, dear Lord, let it be.
In this song, we acknowledge our human inability to live righteously, but we also express awareness of the grace and strength that God gives us in our daily walk. Even such an esteemed saint as the apostle Paul acknowledged his need for this grace: “But he [God] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” … For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9a, 10b ESV)
This song is one of my all time favorite hymns. Though I was raised in the church of Christ, my mother was raised a Baptist. She and her sister played the piano and the organ at their church growing up. Mama always loved to sit and play hymns at the piano in our living room. More frequently than any other song, mama would play “Just a Closer Walk with Thee.”
Reflections
First things first, I thought I’d give this photograph a new perspective by turning it on its head. Obviously, the first thing I thought when I saw this picture was that it’s the reflection of a beautiful man. It’s a man with his pants down standing in water with his hands behind his back, and we see him through his reflection rippling in the water. I have always been a sucker for a photograph that gives you just enough to leave you wanting more. This picture does that for me in spades. The water distorts the picture just enough so that you can’t make out perfect details, but there is no doubt this man has a phenomenal body. So that is a largely superficial look at the photograph.
Photography is an art like any other, with the photographer as the artist. How they situate their model or what part of the scene they focus on, can tell different stories. Now to get philosophical…I am assuming that the photographer took this picture with the gay male aesthetic in mind. That being said, I would say that the photographer is attempting to make a statement about how gay men see themselves. As a community, we are far too often hypercritical of one another and that makes us hypercritical of ourselves. Therefore, we often see a distorted picture of ourselves, much like the water distorts the picture of the model. Often our distortions can be harmful to ourselves, which one might say is the reason the picture is taken with the model standing in water.
The two major points of symbolism in this photograph are the water and the reflection. Since water is often a sign of life, many times water represents life. Water can also be put into two categories: fresh water and bad/polluted water. The water in this photograph appears to be fresh water which usually represents good health. Water can also mean purity and cleansing. It also represents thirst, since people drink water to quench their thirst. Furthermore, the reflection in the water calls to mind the symbolism of the mirror. The oracle of Apollo at Delphi demanded of the ancient Greek ‘know thyself,’ and mirrors have often been used as symbols of wisdom and self-knowledge. But Apollo also required ‘nothing in excess,’ and the mirror can just as easily imply vanity, an unhealthy amount of self-regard. The peril of over admiring one’s mirror image is encapsulated in the ancient Greek myth of Narcissus, the beautiful boy who having fallen in love with his reflection in a pool, pined away and was turned into a flower. One way in which an artist can make use of the mirror is to show us something that we would not otherwise be able to see; the reflection of an object or person outside the scope of the painting perhaps. In the case of this photograph, it’s the upper two-thirds of the body. The most distorted part is the face leaving us with anonymity.
Therefore, considering that we are looking through the lens of the gay male aesthetic, I gather a few points about the interpretation of this photograph. I assume that this is a photograph from either the 1970s or 1980s, but I could be wrong. I am going to postulate that the picture reminds me of a thirst for life and that the reflection in the water not only implies a narcissism, even thought the model is looking away trying to hide his narcissistic tendencies, but that the distorted face symbolizes the anonymous sex and hedonistic lifestyle of the pre-AIDS era.
Then again, the photographer may have just known that the model had a large penis, asked him to stand in the water and drop his pants so he could take a picture of his reflection so that the photographer could claim it was art because of the artistic angle and not a pornographic picture of a man with a large flaccid penis. Furthermore, this picture could be part of a larger picture and was merely cropped this way by someone at some point.
I Want To Know
A picture is worth a thousand words, or is it? I want to know if you think this one is.
I saw this picture and was immediately intrigued. I have my theories about why I find it so interesting, but I’m gonna do something a little different with this post. I will post my thoughts on this picture tomorrow, but today I want to know what you think. Do you find this picture interesting? What about its aesthetic do you like? Basically, what I asking my readers is: How do you feel when you see this picture?
I really am interested in what you’d guys think, so please comment. Just tell me what pops in your mind when you see it. I will have have my thoughts about this picture written up before I read comments but I wanted to see what you thought without any input from me. Even if the photograph does nothing for you, you are welcome to tell me that too.
By the way, I have no idea who took the photo nor do I know who the subject is. However, it did come from the blog Homodesiribus.
Grant Gustin As The Flash
The CW has a new superhero drama, The Flash. There are two superheroes that have always fascinated me: Superman and The Flash. More recently, I have a thing for Captain America, but that mainly has to do with Chris Evans, so it’s not a long time obsession. I’m pretty sure that I’ve talked about my superman obsession, though I don’t think it’s really a full on obsession, but I’m sure I’ve never discussed The Flash before. The blog QueerClick (NSFW, it’s mostly porn but with a few interesting non-porn articles here and there) posted one of their QC Open Forums the other day which was provocatively titled “Is The Flash Too Gay For His Own Good?” The main text of the post (which was mostly pictures, like the one above which I swear has a nice outline of Grant Gustin’s privates in it) stated:
If you have seen The Flash you have probably noticed how Grant Gustin’s gay comes shining through. We’re not saying he is gay (we totally are) but there are moments where The Flash just comes off as very gay, loud and proud. Don’t you find odd the lack of chemistry with his leading lady on the show? That’s like awfully suspicious. And there are times when the inflections of his voice or the way he acts sets our gaydar off like a klaxon. Is that because he has trouble with the character or because the melodrama is over the top? Or is it a vestigial trait from when he was on Glee?
There’s no denying that Grant is super charming and his portrayal of Barry Allen as a good-hearted superhero in the learning stages of his career is not grim or tortured, nowadays that is totally refreshing in the genre. One thing that could disprove our theory is that if he were gay, he wouldn’t have choose such awful variation of the suit.
But we can’t help going back and forth with the primary question, is The Flash too gay for his own good?
I left a comment on this (the featured comment for the post “woot woot”) that said, “Grant Gustin makes the perfect Flash. I seriously see no flaw in his portrayal. He’s sweet, kind, dorky, and so damn cute. I think I’m in love.” Honestly, I really do enjoy the show, and I enjoyed The Flash when it was on in the 1990s with John Wesley Shipp, who by the way plays Barry Allen’s father in this incarnation of The Flash.
While some of the other comments tended to be along the lines of mine and a few were just horny male comments like you’d expect on a gay porn blog, many of the comments were angry at QC for publishing such a post that asked of the character “is too gay.” A comment by Tyrone said:
This kind of commentary actually sets our community back. Neil Patrick Harris, Jim Parsons, Matt Bomer, and T.R. Knight are examples of queer performers who have successfully played straight roles (and the list is endless). Actors, by definition, are portraying something or someone they are not. Their sexuality shouldn’t be a factor, and when you are saying it is, you’re effectively saying a gay performer can’t be taken seriously as a leading man or as a main character in a mainstream movie. That’s a problem.
Now here’s my thought on this: if it were a more serious news blog or a non-gay blog doing a post like this, then I’d say he had a right for his indignation, but QC is a gay porn blog. Even when they try to do something serious, it’s always tongue-in-cheek. Rarely do they every have a serious post. The most ridiculous comment in the whole thread was by “batGRRRl4ever” who wrote “I thought better of this site to even ask a question like this.” Really, she thought better of a gay porn blog that is often satirical was better than to “even ask a question like this.”
In my opinion, Gustin plays Barry Allen perfectly. I don’t think it’s “too gay,” and though I thoroughly wish Grant Gustin was gay and they would have some gay characters on the show (Wentworth Miller plays one of the [maybe recurring] villains and there is rumors of an actual gay character), it doesn’t matter one way or the other because I enjoy the show. Furthermore, just because someone acts dorky and awkward doesn’t mean they are gay. Sure in the case of me it does, but it’s also the reason I was unmercifully picked on as a child and still face some discrimination based on how I am perceived without someone knowing the truth. I give QC a pass for asking the question because I know I’ve been having a similar train of thought, but I give them a pass because of the type of blog they are and that’s a blog that actually publishes the dirty thoughts that gay men often have and do so unabashedly.
I only have one real bone to pick with the QC post. I like The Flash’s costume. I love the dark red leather look much more than I ever like the bright red spandex that The Flash has always been seen wearing. I think it’s a good look, and it looks great on a Grant Gustin, and I sure it would look even better crumpled on the floor while he was naked next to me in bed.
In Flanders Field
In Flanders Fields
By John McCrae
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
McCrae’s “In Flanders Fields” remains to this day one of the most memorable war poems ever written. It is a lasting legacy of the terrible battle in the Ypres salient in the spring of 1915. Canadian physician Major John McCrae was inspired to write it on May 3, 1915, after presiding over the funeral of former student, friend, and fellow soldier Alexis Helmer, who died in the Second Battle of Ypres. According to legend, McCrae discarded the poem in a nearby trash can because he was not satisfied with it. A fellow officer retrieved it and sent it to newspapers in England. The Spectator, in London, rejected it, but the London-based magazine Punch published “In Flanders Fields” on December 8, 1915.
McCrae was moved to the medical corps and stationed in Boulogne, France, in June 1915 where he was promoted to Lieutenant-Colonel, and placed in charge of medicine at the Number 3 Canadian General Hospital. He was promoted to the acting rank of Colonel on January 13, 1918, and named Consulting Physician to the British Armies in France. The years of war had worn McCrae down, however. He contracted pneumonia that same day, and later came down with cerebral meningitis. On January 28, 1918, he died at the military hospital in Wimereux and was buried there with full military honors.
I chose this poem today because around the world, today is celebrated as Armistice Day or Remembrance Day and in the United States as Veterans Day. World War I – known at the time as “The Great War” – officially ended when the Treaty of Versailles was signed on June 28, 1919, five years after the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria which had begun the war. The Treaty was signed in the Hall of Mirrors at the Palace of Versailles outside the town of Versailles, France. However, fighting ceased seven months earlier when an armistice, or temporary cessation of hostilities, between the Allied nations and Germany went into effect on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month. For that reason, November 11, 1918, is generally regarded as the end of “the war to end all wars.”
In November 1919, President Wilson proclaimed November 11 as the first commemoration of Armistice Day with the following words: “To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country’s service and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of the nations…”. The original concept for the celebration was for a day observed with parades and public meetings and a brief suspension of business beginning at 11:00 a.m.
A Congressional Act approved May 13, 1938, officially made the 11th of November in each year a legal holiday—a day to be dedicated to the cause of world peace and to be thereafter celebrated and known as “Armistice Day.” Armistice Day was primarily a day set aside to honor veterans of World War I, but in 1954, after World War II had required the greatest mobilization of soldiers, sailors, Marines and airmen in the Nation’s history; after American forces had fought aggression in Korea, the 83rd Congress, at the urging of the veterans service organizations, amended the Act of 1938 by striking out the word “Armistice” and inserting in its place the word “Veterans.” With the approval of this legislation on June 1, 1954, November 11th became a day to honor American veterans of all wars.
Though there has been a few attempts to move the holiday to a Monday or to celebrate it at other times, Veterans Day continues to be observed on November 11, regardless of what day of the week on which it falls. The restoration of the observance of Veterans Day to November 11 not only preserves the historical significance of the date, but helps focus attention on the important purpose of Veterans Day: A celebration to honor America’s veterans for their patriotism, love of country, and willingness to serve and sacrifice for the common good.
Note:
The photograph above is from Kristine Potter’s series of black and white photographs, The Grey Line, a collection of portraits made at The United States Military Academy at West Point. I loved the mist in this picture. To me, it was a perfect symbol for a Veterans Day commemoration.
Most Popular Posts of All Time
I was kind of at a loss for what to write about today (Mondays are often hard to find a topic for), so I turned to my trusty friend Google for help. I simply typed in “ideas for blog posts.” Literally hundreds of ideas popped up on the first page, but many of them were basically the same list of 101 blog post ideas. I’ve had this blog for over four years now and since I post daily, that’s a lot of ideas already used. Many of the suggestions were things I’ve done in the past. One that I haven’t done before is a list of my top posts. So I looked at my all time statistics and these posts are my top posts that have been viewed on my blog.
1. Naked Male Camaraderie
I published this post on Aug 24, 2010, and it has been my most popular post so far with 149,818 page views as of last night. A fellow blogger reported this blog post once and said that it was one of his top blog posts as well. By the way, this post probably has more nudity in one post than all of my other posts combined, but I loved the pictures of YMCAs which showed such casual nudity in the days when it was a men’s only organization. Seeing these pictures, it’s no wonder that the Village People sang a song about it being “fun to stay at the YMCA.”
2. Gays and the Old West
This post was published just over a year later on Aug 25, 2011. With 7,070 page views it is a very distant second to my post on “Naked Male Camaraderie.” However, I have always liked this post. Whenever there is a lack of women, there is often a rise in homosexual behavior, whether that is all male boarding schools, all male colleges, the military, etc. The Old West was no different.
3. Just Because You Come Out…
I have a feeling that this post, published the day before “Naked Male Camaraderie” on Aug 23, 2010, has reached 6,464 page views simply because people click to see “older posts” on my most popular post. However, this post holds a great deal of meaning for me. It was part of a series of posts about coming out. It was largely my personal experience with coming out and this one in particular was a bit melancholy because, even though I have been out for nearly a decade and a half and have been mostly back in the closet for the past five years, I am still a single gay man, who is not very good with relationships.
4. Naked Warriors in History
This post from Aug 13, 2010, which has garnered 5,030 views, is one of those posts that I found fascinating to write. Since I was an undergrad and first studied the Picts of ancient Scotland, I have been fascinated with these warriors who went into battle naked and painted blue.
5. Naked Sleeping and Relationships
This Aug 20th post from this year is a bit of a surprise. In less than three months, it has been viewed 4,708 times. It probably has more to do with the title than anything else.
6. Smart, Studious, Involved
I am almost certain that the reason this post has had 1,589 views since it was posted on Jul 7, 2011, is not because it is about gay guys being better students, but because the pictures I used are of the very hot actor Colton Haynes kissing another guy. Since I love Colton Haynes (and I do think he is gay, even of his publicist wants to hide that), I had to add a number six to this list, when my personal aesthetic would have preferred to keep to the top five posts.
As many of you know, I also have a mirror/back-up blog on WordPress. The same content is published their daily and it links with my Twitter account. It has only been in existance for about a year or so, but it does have all the same posts. Surprisingly, the top five most popular posts on that blog are mostly different.
1. “Nude Equestrianism and Pot” with 7,704 views
2. “Panic in the Locker Room?” with 1,775 views
3. “Two-Spirit, The American Third Sex” with 1,251 views
4. “Naked Male Camaraderie” with 1,201 views
5. “Gay Camping?” with 1,185 views
Part of the difference here as opposed to my blog’s Blogger version is usually this blog gets link to in different ways. Often the page views for Blogger comes from Google keyword searches, whereas many of my WordPress page views come from either Facebook, Reddit, or other discussion boards.



















