Disappointment

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I have always said that my church, and my preacher in particular, stayed out of the politics of the world and focused on the love of Christians and how to be a better person, especially in the eyes of God. With the recent SCOTUS decision in Obergefell v. Hodges, I feared that this situation would change, but I had hopes that my preacher would follow the congregations wishes that we do not discuss politics at church. When it was not mentioned the Sunday after the decision, I hoped that I was correct, but it just took him a bit longer to come up with a “proper” response. He claimed at the beginning of his sermon that he was going to be more positive than most Christian commentators. Yet, he used the same old tripe and hypocritical inaccuracies that so many have used in the past.

I will discuss these points in another post, but I will give a summary of what he said. He claimed that God has always remained the same and has never wavered in his commandments. He used the Leviticus, Romans, and Corinthians verses often used by those condemning gay people, even though they take them out of context. And one thing that he did that I found particularly loathsome was that while he always uses the King James Version of the Bible in every sermon I’ve ever heard him preach, he used a modern translation that uses the word homosexuality incorrectly. The Bible would have never used the word homosexuality because it wasn’t a word until the 19th century, nor would it have been used because there wasn’t an ancient concept of homosexuality.

I shouldn’t have been surprised by his belief on homosexuality, but he has never mentioned it in the pulpit. I have always felt that it is a political question of those who fear their own loss of their version of moral superiority, but it is not a biblical interpretation of morality. When you must pick and choose verses of the Bible and translations and ignore others that don’t suit your argument, then you are not following the will of God. I have rarely ever left church angry; I usually leave with a sense of peace. However, yesterday, I left church furious, and I felt betrayed.

It seems that far too often people that I have put my faith in have turned untrustworthy. For example, I believed in what my former headmaster had as plans for the school. When others disagreed, I kept my belief that he was making the school a better place. When he said that academics would always come before athletics, I believed him. Then I was fired and replaced with a coach who did not have the credentials I had for teaching history. Now , my minister has caused me to lose my respect of him. When many people spread rumors and insinuations about his fidelity in his marriage and his business ethics, I had always taken up for him, and I never believed the allegations. I still don’t, but I always said that no matter what people believed about him, he has been there for my family and is a truly excellent preacher. He teaches about how to be better people, and he’s always used the Bible to back his beliefs without having to resort to word trickery. Now I have lost my faith and respect for him. I felt like both of these men betrayed me.

I shouldn’t have been as upset as I was, I should have known it was coming, but when it did, it angered me. I always thought better of my preacher than that. I guess I put too much faith in people. Even more of an incentive to get out of this place, but I fear people who disappoint others is everywhere you go.

About Joe

I began my life in the South and for five years lived as a closeted teacher, but am now making a new life for myself as an oral historian in New England. I think my life will work out the way it was always meant to be. That doesn't mean there won't be ups and downs; that's all part of life. It means I just have to be patient. I feel like October 7, 2015 is my new birthday. It's a beginning filled with great hope. It's a second chance to live my life…not anyone else's. My profile picture is "David and Me," 2001 painting by artist Steve Walker. It happens to be one of my favorite modern gay art pieces. View all posts by Joe

4 responses to “Disappointment

  • jacki perrette

    😥 So sorry. They betrayed your trust in them. It is a rejection of who you are. I hope it can be a little comforting to think that they are products of their own cultures. They showed that they were not able to rise above their roots. But things *are* changing…not in a practical way for you for now, but some day.

    Sending positive thoughts for a successful job search and a religious community in harmony with all people.

  • jacki perrette

    I replied again – or tried – from this end it went nowhere. Hopefully, you won’t have 5 or 6 repeated same messages in an inbox somewhere. 😉

    I said that I like to drop by and see how you’re doing and think of you as a friend I haven’t met.

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