Category Archives: Nudity

Moments of Zen: Reading

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BOOK  (1)

BOOK  (2)

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Hyacinth: Lover of the God Apollo

Hyacinth-Death-Jean Broc2 Hyacinth, the young son of the King of Sparta, beautiful like the very gods of Mount Olympus, was beloved of Apollo, shooter of arrows. The god often came down to the shores of the Eurotas River, leaving his shrine in Delphi unattended, to spend time with his young friend and delight in boyish pleasures. Tired of his music and his long bow, Apollo found relief in rustic pastimes. He would take Hyacinth hunting through the woods and glades on the mountain sides, or they would practice gymnastics, a skill which Hyacinth then taught to his friends, and for which later the Spartans would become renowned. The simple life awoke Apollo’s appetites, and made the curly-haired boy seem more charming than ever. Apollo gave him all his love, forgetting he was a mere mortal.
6a00e54f0a235a88340133f4d6193c970b-800wi Once, in the heat of a summer afternoon, the lovers stripped naked, sleeked themselves with olive oil, and tried their hand at discus throw, each vying to outdo the other. The bronze discus flew higher and higher. Finally, the powerful god gathered all his strength, and spun and wheeled and let fly the shiny disk which rose swift as a bird, cutting the clouds in two. Then, glittering like a star, it began to tumble down.
Hyacinth ran to meet it. He was hurrying to take his turn, to prove to Apollo that he, though young, was no less able than the god at this sport. The discus landed, but having fallen from such a great height it bounced and violently struck Hyacinth in the head. He let out a groan and crumpled to the ground. The blood spurted thickly from his wound, coloring crimson the black hair of the handsome youth.
antiquitys Horrified, Apollo raced over. He bent over his friend, raised him up, rested the boy’s head on his knees, trying desperately to staunch the blood flowing from the wound. But it was all in vain. Hyacinth grew paler and paler. His eyes, always so clear, lost their gleam and his head rolled to one side, just like a flower of the field wilting under the pitiless rays of the noonday sun. Heartbroken, Apollo cried out: “Death has taken you in his claws, beloved friend! Woe, for by my own hand you have died. And yet its crime was meeting yours at play. Was that a crime? Or was my love to blame – the guilt that follows love that loves too much? Oh, if only I could pay for my deed by joining you in your journey to the cheerless realms of the dead. Oh, why am I cursed to live forever? Why can’t I follow you?”
PITS-082310-005Apollo held his dying friend close to his breast, and his tears fell in a stream onto the boy’s bloody hair. Hyacinth died, and his soul flew to the kingdom of Hades. The god bent close to the dead boy’s ear, and softly whispered: “In my heart you will live forever, beautiful Hyacinth. May your memory live always among men as well.” And lo, at a word from Apollo, a fragrant red flower rose from Hyacinth’s blood. We call it hyacinth, and on its petals you can still read the letters “Ay,” the sigh of pain that rose from Apollo’s breast.
And the memory of Hyacinth lived on among the gentlemen of Sparta, who gave honors to their son, and celebrated him for three days in mid-summer at the Hyakinthaea festival. The first day they would mourn his death, and the last two they would celebrate his resurrection.

image The Death of Hyacinth by Giovanni Battista Tiepolo in 1752 – Oil on Canvas. It is in the Thyssen-Bornemisza Collection, Madrid.

October Is GLBT History Month

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How It Works
GLBT History Month celebrates the achievements of 31 gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender Icons.
Beginning October 1, 2010, a new GLBT Icon is featured each day with a video, bio, bibliography, downloadable images and other resources on the Equality Forum Website.  Each Thursday of this month, I will feature the 7 GLBT Icons featured that week.

Visit the Equality Forum Web site.

Celebrate the 5th Anniversary: 155 Icons!
1. Eric Alva
image Eric Alva, 37, a native of San Antonio, was sworn into the U.S. Marine Corps when he was 19 years old after attending community college. He graduated from Southwest High School in 1989.
Alva served in the Marine Corps for 13 years, and was a member of the 3rd Battalion of the 7th Marines. At the age of 22, he was deployed to Somalia for Operation Restore Hope. Over the years he was stationed from California to Japan. He was deployed to the Middle East in January of 2003.
On March, 21, 2003, the start of Operation Iraqi Freedom; Marine Staff Sgt. Alva was traveling in Iraq in a convoy to Basra with his battalion – where he was in charge of 11 Marines – when he stepped on a landmine, breaking his right arm and damaging his leg so badly that it needed to be amputated. Alva was awarded a Purple Heart and received a medical discharge from the military.
Alva, the first American wounded in the war in Iraq, has been on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” and various TV news shows and has appeared in People magazine and major newspapers.
Alva, is an avid scuba diver and likes to ski as well. Alva graduated from college in May of 2008, with a Bachelor of Social Work degree. Currently, he is studying for a master’s degree in social work in San Antonio, where he lives with his partner, Darrell, to continue, he says, to work for social justice.
2. George Washington Carver
image Carver was born a slave in Diamond Grove, Missouri. Nevertheless, he managed to acquire some elementary education and went on to study at the Iowa State Agricultural College from which he graduated in 1892. He taught at Iowa until 1896, when he returned to the South to become director of the department of agricultural research at the Tuskegee Institute, Alabama. There he stayed despite lucrative offers to work for such magnates as Henry Ford and Thomas Edison.
His main achievement was to introduce new crops into the agricultural system of the South, in particular arguing for large-scale plantings of peanuts and sweet potatoes. He saw that such new crops were vital if only to replenish the soil, which had become impoverished by the regular growth of cotton and tobacco.
But he did much more than introduce new crops for he tried to show that they could be used to develop many new products. He showed that peanuts contained several different kinds of oil. So successful was he in this that by the 1930s the South was producing 60 million dollars worth of oil a year. Peanut butter was another of his innovations. In all he is reported to have developed over 300 new products from peanuts and over 100 from sweet potatoes.
Little information has survived about Carver’s romantic life, but he has come to be an icon of the gay community. Such a fact is testified to by his inclusion in the encyclopedia glbtq: An Encyclopedia of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Culture and books such as Out in All Directions: The Almanac of Gay and Lesbian America. Carver never married or expressed interest in dating women, and rumors circulated about his sexuality at Tuskegee Institute while he was an employee. In particular, his enjoyment of giving “therapeutic” peanut oil massages to and engaging in horseplay with handsome men was seen as unusual. Late in his career, Carver established a life and research partnership with another male scientist—Austin W. Curtis, Jr.. The two men kept details of their lives discreet, and as such historians know little about how these men understood their relationship. Nonetheless, the fact that Carver willed his assets to this man (consisting of royalties from an authorized biography by Rackham Holt) testifies to the importance of each other in their lives. After the death of his research partner in 1943, Curtis was fired from Tuskegee Institute. He left Alabama and resettled in Detroit, where he used the knowledge of peanuts he had gained from Carver to manufacture and sell peanut-based personal care products.
On his grave was written, He could have added fortune to fame, but caring for neither, he found happiness and honor in being helpful to the world.
3. George Eastman
image Born in Waterville, New York, Eastman moved with his family to Rochester. His father died when George was 7. Eastman dropped out of school at age 14, and took a job with an insurance company to support his mother and two sisters, one of whom was severely disabled.
Eastman began working in banking, but it was his passion for photography that made him a household name. His ingenuity and marketing savvy transformed photography from a pricey hobby to an affordable, popular pastime.
In the business world, Eastman was a leader. His company was among the first to offer its employees retirement and insurance benefits, as well as profit sharing.
Eastman is nearly as famous for his philanthropy. In addition to contributing millions to the University of Rochester, M.I.T. and the Tuskegee Institute, he established and supported the Eastman School of Music, one of the nation’s preeminent music institutions.
Despite his achievements in the world of photography, few pictures of Eastman exist. He was a shy, unassuming man who steered clear of publicity.
In 1946, Eastman’s home became the George Eastman International Museum, housing the world’s leading collections of photography and film.
In the final years of his life, Eastman suffered from severe pain caused by a degenerative disorder of the spine. At age 77, depressed over his inability to lead an active life, Eastman killed himself with a gunshot to the heart. His suicide note read, “To my friends. My work is done, why wait?”
While George Eastman’s sexuality is still often debated, his contributions to the world of photography, his philanthropy and his generous spirit have all undoubtedly earned him a special place in history.
While some maintain Eastman was simply a life-long bachelor and others argue that his epic private correspondence, amounting to over 700 letters, reveal his same-sex feelings, Eastman, regardless, remains a remarkable character worthy of study.
4. Sharon Farmer
image Sharon Farmer was a White House photographer during both terms of the Clinton presidency.  She was the first woman and African American to direct the office charged with chronicling nearly every second – from the mundane to the monumental – of the nation’s highest office.
Born in Washington, D.C. in 1951, Farmer was interested in photography from a young age.  She discovered the power of the medium looking at pictures in her family’s encyclopedia.   Farmer attended Ohio State University, intending to study bassoon.  She quickly switched her major to photography and honed her skills on the staff of the yearbook.
The Associated Press hired Farmer for a photojournalism internship during her senior year.  After graduation, she returned to her hometown of Washington, D.C., where she was a freelancer and photographer for album covers.
In 1993, she was hired as a White House photographer, a fast-paced job in which she used approximately 3,000 rolls of film per year and traveled the globe on a moment’s notice.  In 1999, she was promoted to Director of White House Photography.
During her stint at the White House, Farmer captured many prominent events, including the handshake between Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin and Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat and the swearing in of Nelson Mandela as the president of South Africa.  
Farmer also chronicled many campaigns, from local to national races.  In 2004, she served as the head photographer for Senator John Kerry’s presidential campaign.
In addition to being featured in individual shows and group exhibitions nationwide, Farmer has lectured for National Geographic and the Smithsonian Institution and taught at American University.  She resides in Washington, D.C. 
5. Leslie Feinberg
image Leslie Feinberg is a leading transgender activist, speaker and writer. Feinberg is a national leader in the Workers World Party and a managing editor of Workers World newspaper.
Feinberg was born in Kansas City, Missouri, into a working-class family. In the 1960’s, she came of age in the gay bars of Buffalo, New York.
Now a surgically female-to-male transgender, Feinberg is an outspoken opponent of traditional Western concepts about how a “real man” or “real woman” should look and act. Feinberg supports the use of gender-neutral pronouns such as “ze” instead of he or she, and “hir” instead of him or her.
Feinberg is well-known for forging a strong bond between the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities, and other oppressed minorities. “Everyone who is under the gun of reaction and economic violence is a potential ally,” Feinberg says.
“Stone Butch Blues” (1993), Feinberg’s widely acclaimed first book, is a semi-autobiographical novel about a lesbian questioning her gender identity. It received an American Literary Association Award for Gay and Lesbian Literature and the Lambda Small Press Literary Award.
“Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Ru Paul” (1996), Feinberg’s first nonfiction work, examines the structures of societies that welcome or are threatened by gender variance. The book was selected as one of The Publishing Triangle’s “100 Best Lesbian and Gay Nonfiction Books.”
“Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink or Blue” (1998), another nonfiction work, documents Feinberg’s near-death experience after being denied medical treatment for a heart problem. The doctor, after discovering his patient was transgender, turned hir away.
“Drag King Dreams” (2006), Feinberg’s second novel, picks up where “Stone Butch Blues” left off, chronicling the issues of transgender life today.
In 2008, after Feinberg became disabled from a degenerative disease, the author began telling hir stories through photography. Feinberg was named one of the “15 Most Influential” in the battle for gay and lesbian rights by Curve Magazine. The celebrated author has delivered speeches at colleges, universities, conferences and Pride festivals across the country.
Feinberg is married to poet and activist Minnie Bruce Pratt. 
6. Tom Ford
image Tom Ford is a prominent creative entrepreneur whose accomplishments—first in the fashion world and later in the film industry—have earned him worldwide acclaim.
Born in Austin, Texas, Ford grew up in Santa Fe, New Mexico. At 17, he moved to New York to study art history at New York University, but was smitten with fashion and design. He graduated with a degree in architecture from what is now Parsons The New School for Design.
His first foray into fashion was in Paris, where he interned for Chloe. He worked for American designer Cathy Hardwick next, before moving on to Perry Ellis.
Ford moved to Milan in 1990, where he served as Gucci’s head women’s designer. Two years later, he was named design director. In 1994, he became creative director of Gucci’s Italian label. Ford is credited with turning around the historic fashion house in his short time at the company. In 2000, he was granted new responsibilities at sister label Yves Saint Laurent, where he served as the creative director for YSL Rive Gauche and YSL Beaute.
In 2005, Ford left Gucci and formed his own fashion brand, TOM FORD. Two years later, his flagship store opened in New York. By the summer of 2010, TOM FORD had opened 20 more stores worldwide. In addition to his remarkable financial success, Ford has won many prestigious awards, including five from the Council of Fashion Designers of America.
Ford’s lifetime ambition, however, was to make a film. He says, “I guess I’m just one of these people who when I decide I’m going to do something, I just do it.” In 2009, he wrote, produced, financed and directed “A Single Man,” an adaptation of Christopher Isherwood’s 1964 novel. The movie centers on a gay man’s mourning over his partner’s tragic death. The film premiered at the Venice Film Festival and was nominated for numerous awards, including a Best Actor Academy Award nomination for Colin Firth.
Ford lives with his partner of more than 20 years, journalist Richard Buckley, in their London, Santa Fe and Los Angeles homes.
7. E. Lynn Harris
image E. Lynn Harris is one of the nation’s most popular authors. Considered a literary pioneer, Harris introduced millions of readers to characters rarely seen in literature—black gay men who are affluent, complex and sometimes troubled. With 10 consecutive New York Times best sellers, he remains one of the most successful African-American novelists.
Harris was born Everette Lynn Jeter in Flint, Michigan, to unmarried parents. At age 3, Everette moved with his mother to Little Rock, Arkansas. Everette’s surname was changed to Harris after his mother married Ben Harris. When Everette was 13, his mother divorced his stepfather, who had abused the boy for years.
Harris attended the University of Arkansas. In 1977, he graduated cum laude with a Bachelor of Arts in Journalism. Harris was the school’s first black cheerleader.
After graduation, Harris worked as a sales executive for IBM, eventually settling in Atlanta. He remained in the closet for many years, which led to depression, heavy drinking and a suicide attempt in 1990. Writing helped him find the will to live.
His first novel, “Invisible Life” (1991), was self-published and quickly rose to the top of the Blackboard Bestseller List of African-American titles. Harris sold the books door-to-door from the trunk of his car to local beauty salons and bookstores. After the success of his first book, Doubleday signed Harris and became his long-term publishing company.
” ‘Invisible Life’ had to be the first book out of me,” Harris said. “It helped me deal with my own sexuality.”
Harris wrote more than a dozen novels and paved the way for the next generation of African-American novelists. His books are accessible to the masses and appeal to a diverse audience. Harris always made time for his fans, whom he said changed his life. He would answer up to 200 e-mails from readers every day.
Harris received numerous awards. His honors include three Blackboard Novel of the Year Awards, the James Baldwin Award for Literacy Excellence and three nominations for NAACP Image Awards.
Harris died from heart disease. “People loved him,” said Tina McElroy Ansa, a fellow author and friend. “A spirit of joy followed him through his life.”

And as a bonus, here is a lovely add for Tom Ford from his Spring/Summer collection in 2008:
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Sorry about the naked women, but the cock at the top of the picture is quite lovely.

Sorry, but I haven’t had time to do a Friday post this week, so I decided to use my CAM post from yesterday.  Please forgive me guys.


Moment of Zen

BOTD-092510-006 I don’t normally post pictures like this on this blog.  I generally reserve them for my other blog, but sometimes we all need a moment of Zen, or in this case a moment of beauty.  Isn’t he beautiful?  Just take a moment to appreciate his beauty.


African circumcision

 

Circumcision is practiced by almost all groups in West Africa. In the countries of sub-Saharan Africa, it usually coexists with excision except in the matriarchal societies forming a band across southern Africa between Angola and Mozambique. These societies practice neither circumcision nor excision. Further south, in the southernmost region of the African continent, circumcision practices are explained partly by the migration of patriarchal Bantu societies from equatorial regions.

African circumcision is performed on older children and involves a relatively stereotyped ritual consisting of the following elements in succession:

•    seclusion of the initiate, isolation from women and “unclean” children;

image •    ablation of the prepuce, closely linked to the notion of blood sacrifice;

image •    tests of collective or individual endurance after the circumcision;

image•    wearing of special costumes;

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•    and sometimes the adoption of a new name marking the child’s true birth.

YouTube has an interesting documentary about African circumcision called “To Become A Man – South Africa”:

Male circumcision is one of the world’s oldest surgical practices; carvings depicting circumcisions have been found in ancient Egyptian temples dating as far back as 2300 BC.

In recent months, the issue of male circumcision and its links to the transmission of HIV has hit the headlines and sparked debates across the world. Trials in Kenya, Uganda and South Africa have now all shown that male circumcision significantly reduces a man’s risk of acquiring HIV.

According to a new study, circumcised men are more resistant to STDs, with the process lowering one’s chances of herpes infection by 28%, HPV infection by 35% and HIV infection by 60%. The study took place in Uganda, where the population is battling an AIDS epidemic, but circumcision advocates say the same benefits apply to Western men, and claim that the controversial procedure should be recommended for infants here.

Also, see:

Male circumcision and HIV: a web special series

A Nudist Religion?

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Occasionally, the Professor learns something new. I had heard of Jains, and have even taught about them, but the other night, I learned something new about the Jains.
Jainism: Reverence for All Living Things
Jainism was founded by Nataputra Vardhamana, known as Mahavira, “Great Hero,” who became an ascetic, who promoted pacifism and vegetarianism.   His followers believe that all living things have an eternal spirit and must be treated with reverence. The central ideas of their faith is Ahisma—nonviolence to all living things, Moksha—liberation from the cycle of death and reincarnation, and The Three Jewels—right knowledge, right faith, and right conduct.  There are five basic ethical principles (vows) prescribed. The degree to which these principles must be practiced is different for renunciant and householder. Thus:

1. Non-violence (Ahimsa) – to cause no harm to living beings.
2. Truth (Satya) – to always speak the truth in a harmless manner.
3. Non-stealing (Asteya) – to not take anything that is not willingly given.
4. Celibacy (Brahmacarya) – to not indulge in sensual pleasures.
5. Non-possession (Aparigraha) – to detach from people, places, and material things.

Jains mostly became scholars and merchants, but farmers, who periodically had to kill plants and animals, could not fully commit to Jainism, though some followed its tenements.  Jains are known to walk with a broom before them, sweeping away all living things, so as not to harm them.
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Jain saints

Among Jains , there are two main sects- Shwethambara and Digambara. Shwethabars worship idols in pre-sainthood form while digambars worship god in the sainthood form.Nude saints are found in digambar jains community only.

 

Symbol of Great Sacrifice

Sainthood itself, according to principles, is a symbol of sacrifice. Jaina saints follow strict principles.In digambar community, saints are of three categories.

image 1. KSHULLAKA
2.AILLAKA, and
3. NIRGRANTHA

Kshullakas wear a saffron dhothi and a saffron cloth is put across their bust. Aillaks wear only a piece in the waist just cover their penis, and nirgranthas are fully nude. This is always followed irrespective of seasonal changes. Female saints (nuns) are allowed only for the first stage and they are called Aryikas. Other two stages are not allowed for them.
Principles followed by jaina nude saints are the following:

image 1. They will not take a bath or brush their teeth. They only wash their hands and feet and face after going for excretion. They just rub their teeth with their finger after eating food. But they are not permitted to use brush and bathe , as we do. The reason is that, by that action, microbes and other small organisms on our body may die. And , a nirgrantha is to see that no creature dies by his behavior.
2. They take food only once a day. imageThat too is a strict practice. They can not use dishes or dining table . They stand , stretch out their palms, and somebody puts food into their open palms. They test by perusing cleanly and, after confirming that no germ, nor any other dust is there in it, they eat it. If any such thing is found, they leave it there  and no food will be taken by them till next day.
3. If they hear any cry of an animal or of a person in distress etc., while taking food , they give up their food.
4. The food they take is simple and tasteless. They take rice, chapa made of wheat, some curry image(without salt), coconut water. The food is just to get minimum strength required to maintain life activities.
5. They often take ‘hunger vow’-i.e., no food for the day. Sometimes, this hunger vow continues for up to eight days. The great nude saint of twentieth century, Acharya Shantisagarji Maharaj, had a total period of twenty-six years of hunger in his life span of seventy years.
6. They should not use vehicles for movement. They have to travel by walking only. And they walk faster than us! As they are not supposed to use vehicles, they cannot be seen in foreign countries. They are seen only in India.
image7. They do not use beds, sleeping bags, or bed sheets and rugs. They sleep on wooden planks or wooden cots, just with a mat on  it. In sleep also they do not change their side, with the idea that some germ moving there might be get killed.
8. They do not speak at night.
9. They are not expected to involve themselves in any worldly matters.
image10. Needless to say- they keep away from sex, not only physically, but also mentally.
11. They keep only the following items with them -a pincha (a  bundle of naturally fallen peacock feathers to brush away the dust while sitting), a kamandala (a wooden vessel to clean themselves after going for excretion), and shastras (religious books). They do not keep money or any valuable things.
image12. They are not supposed to get angry- even to someone who who is angry with them.
13. They don’t even drink water after their regular food, i.e. once a day.
14. They remove their hairs on their face and head only with their hands/ They wont use tools for that.

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Being Put Back in the Closet

The Closet Guy

With all of my recent posts about coming out of the closet, you might wonder, why this blog is called The Closet Professor. It is simply because for years, I was out and proud. Circumstances, however, have changed, and this post is meant to explain that. I make every effort to be as honest as possible with you guys, and I am not in the business of misleading you. I felt that this post is particularly significant (maybe only for me, but there are others out there who can relate to my situation.

This is a post that I have been trying to compose for a few weeks now. It is certainly not an easy topic for me, but in the interest of being honest (as I 4595475100_48ece8d5e8_b strive to be as far as I can and keep my anonymity with you guys), I felt the need to tell this story and explain where I am currently in my life. After 8 years of being out and proud, with the attitude of “fuck ‘em” if they can’t accept that I am gay, I returned home to live with my parents for a year. My graduate funding had run out, the academic job market was in shambles, and I had a choice to make. I could either continue to work in the part time job I had, and get another job, leaving me little time to finish my dissertation, or I could move home with my parents, save some money, try to finish my dissertation, and hope to find a job the next year. If I was going to finish graduate school, my choice was clear. I had to move home.

Moving home was a very difficult decision because my parents had never come to accept my homosexuality. This was not likely to change, it was an unspoken agreement that I would end my gay “lifestyle,” and basically any social life that I had as long as I was living with them. Everything I did image would be watched and questioned by them. I would be living in a very rural area (the nearest town was an hour away). As tough of a decision as this was, I decided I could take anything for a year. It would only be a year. So, I began my year of solitude with my parents, with only short excursions to visit a friend of mine a few states away, where I could be as gay as I wanted to be, while they were hoping that I was moving away from a gay “lifestyle” and closer to a heterosexual relationship with the female friend that I was going to visit. In other words, my friend was my beard.

As I said, I thought I could take anything for a year. However, things did not go as planned, as they so rarely do. My dissertation did not progress as it image should have. There were problems with my dissertation committee. I had to restart with a new adviser. The job market did not improve, even with the President, economists, and all the other talking heads out there, proclaimed that the Great Recession was ending and the economy was improving. Higher education is the first hit by economic downfall, and the very last to recover. Politicians think that tuition can take up all of the slack of decreased budgets, but if no one can afford tuition as it is, how are they going to pay higher tuition? So I had to once again look for alternatives. I found a part-time teaching job at a local college. It got me out of the house, back to the classroom that I loved, and I had wonderful students. The adjunct class and a prescription for Prozac, markedly improved my mood. I decided to make the best of a bad situation.

I could not teach in public schools because none of my degrees were in education, so without returning to school for another masters degree or at least taking further education classes, image I could not get certified to teach in public schools. So my options began to be thus: find a job in a small private school, move to live with my friend a few states away and get any job I could find, find a position within my field but not in teaching, or remain with my parents if none of these options worked out. Moving with my friend was not a very good option. I love her, but living with her would have driven me crazy. She was fun to visit, but not to live with. I really did not want to remain under the watchful eye and scrutiny of my parents. So those two options were mostly out the window. Finding a job marginally related to my field was also not a viable option because there were not jobs to be had because of the economy. So I began, reluctantly, to look into teaching at a private school.

Most of these school are small conservative schools, with a Christian oriented curriculum, and a morality clause in their contracts. If I was hired by one of these school, discretion would be absolutely necessary. image By the way, these school rarely paid very much, about half of what I would have made at a full time position at a college. So I apply, and with my credentials, I get hired. At least, I am in a classroom again. I love teaching,and it is my passion. I just prefer to teach adults not teenagers. AD/HD and ADD is an epidemic in America. Those who teach and can deal with the stress that kids deal out to us everyday, are saints (I’m not referring to myself here, because they really try my patience most days). I tried to look on the bright side of things (as I always try to do. I strive to be an optimist.)

Then, just as I think things are going well, I have moved into my new house. I have a job, one doing what I love to do. Then I am informed, on the Friday before school starts, that my feminine behavior has been a subject of discussion. We were on another subject, dealing somewhat with the idea of me being liberal minded, when he says, “But this brings up another topic. We have at least two boys here with feminine tendencies. And since you do as image well, several of the boys are going to try you. One came up to me last night and made a comment about it. I told him that he can’t be gay and be a Christian and teach here.” I began to fume. I didn’t show it. I just responded that I can handle these kids. They will learn that they can’t push me around or show me any disrespect. I won’t allow that kind of mess and I don’t have the time or the patience to deal with this type of foolishness.

What I really wanted to say was this: “First of all, I can handle my own. I am more of a man than most of the men and boys at this school will ever be. I can also shoot a rifle better and more accurately than any one of them, they can just try me. It is none of your goddamn business what I do in my personal life, as long as I appear to be an upstanding citizen and I don’t flaunt my “feminine tendencies.” Moreover, I am in no way feminine. My voice may not be the deepest, but once any of these students make me mad, I will turn into their worst nightmare, not a drama queen.”

lonely_closet_m65_b1_f6 So, as it stands, I am back in the closet. I have to finish graduate school, make myself more viable to faculty positions in higher education, and move the hell away from this hell hole. The three P’s will get me through this time in my life: Pray, Positive thinking, and Prozac (not to mention “M” for masturbation, “D” for discretion, “F” for fantasies, and “B” for all my blog buddies out there who help me stay connected to my true self—you guys make the closet not such a lonely place. THANK YOU!!! I LOVE ALL OF YOU GUYS!).

Thank you all for reading. Your comments, suggestions, and snide remarks are always welcomed. For now this will end my “Coming Out” post (I may have one more in me though), since technically I am no longer out in my public life at home. I will gladly answer most any questions you may have, and will do my best to fulfill any requests for future posts on this blog. If there is any advice I can give or information I can provide, I am more than willing to do my best.

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For a follow-up to this post, please see: It’s Not All Bad…


Naked Male Camaraderie

_0piggybackfightAfter my rant yesterday about finding the right man, I thought I would lighten things up before I got to my next post which for me is a bit of a downer. So let’s talk about naked men…
BOTD-081310-002 For the past three decades, America seems to be getting more prudish than ever where nudity is concerned. Take the Janet Jackson episode during the Super Bowl a few years ago. Has America always been this prudish? In television and movies, yes, but in everyday life, I don’t believe the evidence supports it. John Quincy Adams used to get up two hours before sunrise to go skinny dipping in the Potomac River, and he was not even the only president to enjoy skinny dipping. Rumor has it that Harry Truman enjoyed swimming au naturel, and that Billy Graham went skinny dipping with Lyndon Johnson.
vintage_Harvard_rowing_crew_naked_5_13_09_wcmUntil the last three decades, American high school boys took showers after PE classes. Nudity in gyms showers was quite normal. Guys didn’t do the towel dance. If you were in the steam room or sauna, you went naked. You took your shower in the open, but now most guys wear towels in the steam room and sauna, and shower in private stalls.
Columbus,OhioYMCA1930s What’s so odd is that 40 years ago, nude swimming was the norm. It’s what was acceptable. Below, you can see that they even used to shower in groups before they jumped in the pool.
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A paradigm shift has happened and I’m curious as to why? I really can’t help but wonder — of all the factors that have gone into this shift. The YMCAs used to enforce nude swimming and many, like the one below, even gyms right above or next to the pool. Between laps, guys would just head over and lift weights — yes, completely nude.
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From the 1890s to the 1930s, men who swam at the YMCA did so in the nude, apparently wool swimsuits (the fashion of the time) clogged up the pool filters. An excerpt from the history of the Seattle YMCA gives a reason for the change:
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An early casualty of gender equity was males-only nude swimming in the downtown pool. Men and boys had been accustomed to swimming au naturel at the YMCA, not only in Seattle but in Ys everywhere, since the 1890s. The practice may have evolved from problems created by the long, wool swimming suits then in fashion, which apparently shed so much they gummed up the pool filters. Later, nude swimming was justified on the grounds of hygiene. A handbook in use at the Seattle Y in the 1920s required that “A good soap bath must be taken before entering the swimming pool” in the same paragraph that specified “The wearing of swimming suits or supporters will not be allowed except by permission from the director.”

ghp-442807-ymca-pool-1YMCA2 Is gender equality the only reason for the change in nudity in all-male arenas? I doubt it. Women are still not allowed in boys locker rooms. Public baths have largely closed because of the AIDS scare, but also because of a crack down on “morality.” Could the movie Caligula be made today? It is doubtful. One of the major changes has to do with the Reagan presidency. Many Republicans venerate him because of his ushering in of patriotism (which had declined since the l_400_323_723b4073-feb0-4d8b-af3e-067fcff6b715Vietnam War), deregulation, and the Christian Right. Did the resurgence of prudish behavior begin with the Reagan administration, or did it begin before then? The Puritans supplied us with a large number of our founding fathers. Yet, as prudish and “pure” as the Puritans were, they still had more illegitimate births per capita than any other group in American history. Why? Because most of them lived on the frontier, and they could not wait to have sex until after the next time that a minister would travel through to marry them. Puritan ministers were not a populous group, so communities shared ministers, only getting a minister every few months. The same is true of the rural South during colonial times, when Anglican priests were few and far between.
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The ultimate question is, with the resurging popularity of porn and the internet, why is America so prudish?

More after the JUMP.

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Just Because You Come Out…

stevon_somanyboys.net_ Just because you come out, doesn’t mean that everything will be perfect.  Maybe you came out because you finally found the right man.  Maybe you came out because you were pushed out of the closet.  Maybe you came out because you were finally ready to be yourself.  Whatever the reason, when you come out the journey is just beginning.  One of my readers asked me to discuss my relationships since I came out.  If you want to read the explicit sexy stuff, click on hook-ups and it will take you to all (well most, there are a few stories left to tell) of the salacious details of my sex life.  The truth (and I am ashamed to admit this) is that I have never been in a gay relationship.  The most I have ever dated a guy was two dates (he was into younger guys and I was almost his age, so it just didn’t work out).  I also don’t think a fuck buddy counts as a relationship.

Though I have not really ever been in a gay relationship, I do understand the other side of the fence where women are concerned.  I did have relationships with women, some of them even involved sex, but most were not really enjoyable experiences.  I always had a different girlfriend in high school and a rather long relationship in college, but none of them ever went anywhere beyond making out and sometimes sex.  I just never felt the same attraction for women as I did men, and finally after the last relationship with a women (the one in college), I chose not to pursue women anymore until I fully understood my own emotional state.  It took several years for me to come to terms with being gay, but finally through much prayer and meditation, I came to terms with it myself. 

I have always had a knack for understanding women, I just never found sex with them or being attracted to them as exciting the sex and attraction I have with men.  Yet, I find it very hard to understand men.  Sometimes, I just don’t get them.  For straight men, I am often not “straight-acting enough.”  They sometimes find me feminine.  I do not have a low voice.  I can fake a low voice but it strains my throat so much until I just refuse to do it.  I am also not the most macho guy.  I love reading, musicals, a great love story, old movies, science fiction, etc, but most action movies do nothing for me unless the actor in it is really hot (take the movies Clash of the Titans, for example, or James Bond).  I love to watch sports, especially college sports, and I am gearing up for college football to start soon, but I am not one for all the statistics and stuff.  I can get into the teams I root for, and the rest, I could really care less about. Most straight guys think I dress too nicely.  I wear dress pants and a dress shirt to work everyday.  I refuse to wear short sleeve dress shirts, and I always try to have on a nice pair of shoes.  For straight men, I am overdressed and therefore must be gay because they see me as a snazzy dresser.

And as far as gay men go, I am generally not “gay enough.”  I don’t soak up the latest celebrity gossip. You know, who’s in rehab now, who had the latest facelift, what is the latest and greatest pop diva song, etc.  I do love to watch Project Runway, the Food Network, etc, and give me a good gay movie any day.  I do like club music occasionally, but I am much more of an alternative rock kind of guy.  Give me Cake, REM, Pearl Jam, Linkin Park, Coldplay, Puddle of Mudd, or Smashing Pumpkins any day as opposed to Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Madonna, or Christina Aguilera (though I did like Genie in a Bottle, because I do like to be rubbed the right way, LOL).  I’m not saying that I hate pop music, sometimes I do love to sing along to some of it, especially Maroon 5.   In addition to not liking the “right” kind of music, I also don’t spend enough on clothes to be completely fashionable.  I don’t soak up every issue of US Weekly or People Magazine.  I don’t keep up with the latest fad in fashion, mainly because I think so much of it either looks trashy or is ugly and is a fad that I hope goes away very soon.  Give me a nice dress shirt and a pair of slacks that accentuates my ass, or give me a pair of jeans and a polo shirt.  And if I am being lazy that day, I will wear a pair of cargo shorts, a t-shirt, a baseball hat, and a pair of flip-flops because I just didn’t feel like washing my damn hair or shaving that day.  So sue me.

What the hell.  I think I am just normal.  I am me.    I don’t have a deep masculine voice, I do have a few extra pounds (only a few), I’m intelligent, and I have chest hairs.  Why can’t I find someone to accept that?  The point of this post is that I have been out for nearly 10 years.  I don’t live in an area where there are a lot of gay people, but I had to go where my career took me (more on that in the next post).  Surely, there is someone out there who wants a normal guy (with a nice thick cock, btw), who happens to be attracted to men, loves having sex with men, can suck a mean cock, and is 100 percent, no doubt about it, GAY!!!!

Surely, someone out there has an answer to this.


Is There Any Sport More Homoerotic Than Rugby?

My roommate in college used to play rugby.  It is a rough and tumble sport with men in short shorts and “rugby” shirts.  After the games, the guys would generally get drunk and/or high, which eventually led to them getting naked at various points.  Every time my roommate told me about the traditions that were associated with rugby, they tended to included nudity.  I hope I get the terminology right here, if not, let me know.  I am doing this by memory.  There seemed to be a lot of hazing of new team members.  First of all, when a player scored his first try, he would strip naked, right there and then and run around the field.  Another tradition was the elephant walk, to show team unity.  As I understood it, all the guys would be naked and reach through the guy in front’s leg to grab their dick and then walk around the room.  Do any of you have any stories of sports hazing?

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So to go along with this post, I thought I would give a little history of rugby for those who might not be as familiar with the sport.  William Webb Ellis is credited with inventing rugby in 1823 by picking up the ball while playing football at Rugby School and running with it. The claim is disputed but there is little doubt that rugby developed at public schools out of a large-scale, few-rules, mauling scrum game. Definition of the code began in 1863 when the Football Association was formed and outlawed handling and hacking. Richmond, Blackheath, and some London clubs stayed with the handling code and in 1871 the Rugby Football Union was formed. As in soccer, the balance moved in favor of northern clubs and there were accusations of professionalism. In 1895 St Helens, Wigan, and a number of northern clubs formed a breakaway union, which became the Rugby Football League in 1922. The number of players was reduced from fifteen to thirteen and scrums restricted to produce a fast handling game.

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The two codes, amateur and professional, treated each other with disdain for many years. But the advent of television after the Second World War led to a gradual thaw. Rugby union introduced a league system, with promotion and relegation, expenses became ever more substantial, and the ban on players returning after playing rugby league was lifted in 1995. Full professionalism followed, together with substantial restructuring of competitions.