Tag Archives: Gay

The Masks We Wear

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Yesterday, I wrote about how certain people in the gay community have strict types, how they automatically reject those who don’t fit their type, and how ageism, sexism, and racism have become a part of the gay community. I find it ridiculous how as a community we reject those who don’t conform to our expectations, and this goes beyond just the gay community but to humanity as a whole. I also mentioned the “bromo” type. Coop wrote this in his comment, and I wanted to share it with those of you who might not have read the comments:

There are a lot of talking heads out in the gay community who like to chide gay men for acting too straight or (allegedly) trying to downplay the fact that they are gay by saying that they are straight acting. My first thought when I read the word “bromo” in this post was that somewhere some know-it-all will have a problem with that designation/group/ whatever you want to call it.

The thing is that we all have our prejudices, no matter how hard we work against them. I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. When we chide each other for being too “straight-acting” or too “flamboyant,” we cheapen ourselves as a community. Those of us who are closeted know that we must appear straight or the rumors that you’re gay fly around like a bat out of hell. I have several close friends here and away from here who know I am gay. I even have many who suspect that I am gay, but never say so. I have different ways of acting around different people. I keep up appearances, which is part of the deception of being in the closet. I don’t like it, but it’s reality.

The point I’m trying to make is that we are all unique. Some of us are naturally flamboyant, while others may be more “straight acting” or just a “good ol’ boy” or however you want to put it. I dare not say normal because what’s normal for me is not necessarily normal for you. With that said, we all have it in us to show different personalities to different people. For all things there is a time and place. Sometimes, I can be flamboyant when I want to be, and sometimes I’m not and do my best to blend into my surroundings. It’s according to the situation. I think all gay men have it in them to be flamboyant. Sometimes it just comes out in us. I have to catch myself to keep from calling everyone “honey” or saying something is “fabulous.” I often say instead that something is “fantastic” but that can sound just as flamboyant as fabulous at times.

Anyone who says they are completely straight-acting is being ridiculous. There is nothing straight-acting about giving a blowjob unless you’re a woman. Therefore, I understand the gay pundits who rail against those who call themselves straight-acting, but I also understand why someone can describe themselves as straight-acting. No matter how much we hate labels, they are often useful.

So no matter what mask you wear, I urge you and myself to be ourselves more. We can still wear the masks that hide our sexuality, but if we hide who we truly are then we lose ourselves.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!


More Ignorance

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Yesterday was the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington, so I felt that the above image was perfect to go along with the news story in this post.

A North Carolina-based mother is facing misdemeanor child abuse charges after she allegedly instructed her 12-year-old son to “beat the gay away” from his older brother, 15.

As local news outlet WECT TV6 reports, Whiteville police were summoned to the home of Mary Gowans on Aug. 24. When they arrived, there were “several people yelling and screaming,” according to a police report cited in the report.

Gowans is alleged to have made her 15-year-old son strip down to his underpants while instructing his younger brother to strike him repeatedly with a belt, according to WITN. Gowans, however, denies those charges, even though she told reporters that her younger son did hit his older sibling, but that the older had hit the younger one first.

Gowans also told reporters that she believes her older son is gay “in some way,” and that he has been visiting an older gay man who she heard had molested him. She said she tried to contact authorities with regard to the alleged sexual abuse, but nothing has yet been done.

Last year, a pastor in Fayetteville, N.C. sparked controversy after he urged his congregation to attack their children if they appear to be exhibiting behavior outside of gender norms, Good as You’s Jeremy Hooper first reported.

Sean Harris, senior pastor of Fayetteville’s Berean Baptist Church, later said he “would never ever advocate” hitting a child, but nonetheless defended his belief in the need to reinforce traditional gender roles in children.


Wentworth Miller Comes Out

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Though rumors of him being gay were rampant when he was on Fox’s Prison Break, Wentworth Miller never responded to the rumors. Now, he has revealed that he’s gay in a letter to the Russia’s St. Petersburg International Film Festival declining their invitation to attend.

Wentworth’s letter, which is posted on GLAAD’s website, thanks festival organizers for an invitation but states that “as a gay man, I must decline. I am deeply troubled by the current attitude toward and treatment of gay men and women by the Russian government.”

“Wentworth’s bold show of support sends a powerful message to LGBT Russians, who are facing extreme violence and persecution: you are not alone,” said a statement from GLAAD representative Wilson Cruz, who is also an actor (My So-Called Life).

Miller’s announcement comes amid international condemnation of tough laws targeting homosexuals that the Russian government has passed in recent months. The new laws include fines for individuals accused of spreading “propaganda of nontraditional sexual relations” to minors, and penalizes those who express pro-gay views online or in the news media. Gay pride rallies are banned as well, as is the adoption of Russian-born children by same-sex couples.

Here’s a bonus picture of this sexy man:

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