Yesterday, I wrote about how certain people in the gay community have strict types, how they automatically reject those who don’t fit their type, and how ageism, sexism, and racism have become a part of the gay community. I find it ridiculous how as a community we reject those who don’t conform to our expectations, and this goes beyond just the gay community but to humanity as a whole. I also mentioned the “bromo” type. Coop wrote this in his comment, and I wanted to share it with those of you who might not have read the comments:
There are a lot of talking heads out in the gay community who like to chide gay men for acting too straight or (allegedly) trying to downplay the fact that they are gay by saying that they are straight acting. My first thought when I read the word “bromo” in this post was that somewhere some know-it-all will have a problem with that designation/group/ whatever you want to call it.
The thing is that we all have our prejudices, no matter how hard we work against them. I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. When we chide each other for being too “straight-acting” or too “flamboyant,” we cheapen ourselves as a community. Those of us who are closeted know that we must appear straight or the rumors that you’re gay fly around like a bat out of hell. I have several close friends here and away from here who know I am gay. I even have many who suspect that I am gay, but never say so. I have different ways of acting around different people. I keep up appearances, which is part of the deception of being in the closet. I don’t like it, but it’s reality.
The point I’m trying to make is that we are all unique. Some of us are naturally flamboyant, while others may be more “straight acting” or just a “good ol’ boy” or however you want to put it. I dare not say normal because what’s normal for me is not necessarily normal for you. With that said, we all have it in us to show different personalities to different people. For all things there is a time and place. Sometimes, I can be flamboyant when I want to be, and sometimes I’m not and do my best to blend into my surroundings. It’s according to the situation. I think all gay men have it in them to be flamboyant. Sometimes it just comes out in us. I have to catch myself to keep from calling everyone “honey” or saying something is “fabulous.” I often say instead that something is “fantastic” but that can sound just as flamboyant as fabulous at times.
Anyone who says they are completely straight-acting is being ridiculous. There is nothing straight-acting about giving a blowjob unless you’re a woman. Therefore, I understand the gay pundits who rail against those who call themselves straight-acting, but I also understand why someone can describe themselves as straight-acting. No matter how much we hate labels, they are often useful.
So no matter what mask you wear, I urge you and myself to be ourselves more. We can still wear the masks that hide our sexuality, but if we hide who we truly are then we lose ourselves.
2 Comments | tags: Ageism, Closeted, Gay, Gay Lesbian and Bisexual, Gay Men, Halloween, LGBT community, Masks, Racism, Sexism, Straight-acting | posted in Discussion, Miscellaneous
I came across a new blog yesterday, Chill Gay Dude. The blogger is named Travis. He’s a pretty typical 18 year old guy, but he’s gay and nobody knows it. He started his blog to get some stuff off his chest, as most of us do, and share this part of my life, anonymously. It’s a new blog, but if you read through his posts, I think, like me, you will be reminded of those early years of life in the closet, when your horny, perving on your guy friends, and scared to death that someone might find out.
Leave a comment | tags: Gay Lesbian and Bisexual, Travis, Zen | posted in Moment of Zen
Despite the ever-present challenges lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) students face at school, a new study finds that gay teachers are actually less likely to challenge bullying in the classroom than their straight counterparts out of fear for their own jobs.
As TES Magazine reports, the study comprised interviews with more than 350 teachers and school principals over how they deal with anti-gay incidents at school. The bulk of the interviewees who identified as LGBT said that not only did they not feel safe coming out at school, but they had rarely intervened when they witnessed homophobic remarks being made.
Over one-third of the teachers interviewed for the survey said they were worried their jobs would be at risk if they came out to their colleagues, while 62 percent were worried about losing their jobs if they came out to their students, according to the report.
As a gay teacher myself, I understand how other LGBT teachers might feel. Whereas, some teachers might not stand up to homophobic incidents, I do not allow any bullying or any disparaging remarks in my presence. I attempt to teach my students the golden rule. Though I might fear that it might out me to my students or that my students might perceive me as gay because of it, I don’t worry too much. Parents and students alike know that I am the one liberal teacher at the school, and so they think it is just one of my liberal diatribes when I challenge bullying in the classroom. I also tend to give them a mini sermon on the golden rule in the process.
That being said, it does not mean that my job would not be in jeopardy if my sexuality did come out. I have allies on the school board, so I might not lose my job, but it is also quite likely that I would. We can hope that one day, the sexuality of teachers will not be an issue. Currently, it is a very real threat. News of the TES Magazine report follows the case of Carla Hale, a longtime teacher at Ohio’s Bishop Watterson High School who was reportedly fired after her partner’s name, Julie, was listed among the survivors in a public obituary for Hale’s mother. In February, Purcell Marian High School Assistant Principal Mike Moroski was fired by the Archdiocese of Cincinnati after endorsing gay marriage in a personal blog post, while in 2012, music teacher Al Fischer was dismissed from his job at St. Ann Catholic School in north St. Louis County, Mo., after archdiocese officials learned he was planning on marrying his longtime partner.
Leave a comment | tags: Bishop Watterson High School, Gay Lesbian and Bisexual, Homophobia, LGBT, LGBT Teachers, Mike Moroski, Student, Teacher, TES Magazine | posted in Education