I’m doing my best to be as prepared as possible for this phone interview. I’ve read articles sent to me by a friend about how best to handle a phone interview, and I will definitely be putting them into practice. Furthermore, this job uses a skill (oral history) that while practiced in a different capacity is one that I was well trained for in graduate school. I did my graduate studies at a university that was one of the pioneers in oral history. Not everyone is good at conducting interviews, but I found I had a special talent for it. Largely because people love to talk to me. I know how to ask the right questions, and I know how to get the information I need, sometimes without even conveying that. In a way, it’s very similar to leading a class discussion. You have to ask open ended questions and let the students talk. Let that discussion lead to another question, all the while keeping the person answering the questions focussed on what I need/want to know.

I haven’t had many opportunities to conduct oral histories in recent years and some of the technology has changed, so I looked into the modern equipment used in the digital age. I found out what some of the equipment that they use is and emailed a former professor and asked his advice, since the oral history center that he is now in charge of uses the same equipment. I’ve read over techniques and manuals to refresh my memory about the best strategies and practices of conducting oral histories.

I’ve also researched the institution where the job is, the people who work in this particular museum (LinkedIn is a wonderful tool), and I have researched the surrounding area. I want to know as much as I possibly can about this job, and he environment there. Of course there is still more reading and research to do today, and rest assured, I will have cheat sheets and notes in front of me when they call. I am determined to make sure that the four people interviewing me know exactly why I am the perfect candidate for this job.

By the way, I know I have been more personal in my posts lately than I ever have in this blog. I hope that this is ok with my readers. I’ve just been so focussed lately that I’ve felt the need to share what I am going through, so I would love your feedback on the direction that I have taken the blog in the last few weeks. When I find interesting books or history or news items, I will definitely be posting about them, but I hope it’s ok that I’ve just been more focussed on me lately.

  
I didn’t feel like writing anything today.  Maybe this afternoon or tomorrow, I’ll put an update.  Waking up because of an excruciating headache at 5 am doesn’t help much either, and I’d just told someone the other day that with my new headache treatment regimen, I had not been being woken by headaches.

I had my interview yesterday. It’s an entry level position but everyone has to start somewhere. I know she believed I was over-qualified, but the interview went exceptionally well. She was very nice, and I’m pretty sure she thought the same of me. I know I would enjoy working with her though I know that being director at this place is not her primary job. Her main position is as the outreach director for a large civil rights organization/legal institution that built and administers this museum.* overall, I think the interview went really well, and I was told that I would hear from them very soon. I just hope it pays somewhere near what I was making as a teacher (don’t forget I was paid very poorly as a private school teacher, roughly 50% of the salary of a public school teacher). Whether I get this job or not, I believe in what my current supervisor at my volunteer job told me to pray for: “God please let me be offered the job that is right for me. I get confused when there are choices.” I never did do well on multiple choice tests.

One of the things that really intrigued me about this interview was that she wanted to discuss my experience with conducting oral histories. I was glad she did that for two reasons. One, it showed that the oral history experience I have is something that stand out on my resume. This is important because I recently applied for a job that would primarily deal with oral histories. It’s a job that I’d really like to have in a part of the country that id love to live in. The other thing is that, whether I get this job or not, it gave me some great experience and practice discussing my background in oral history. As RB commented on Monday’s post, “Every time you interview it’s good practice and you usually learn something. The more you interview, the better you become at it. So not a waste of time.”

In other developments, I was contacted by the the Campaign for Southern Equality because I had signed a petition earlier this year about marriage equality in Alabama. Fourteen of Alabama’s sixty-seven counties are not issuing marriage licenses to anyone because “they feel issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples violates their religious beliefs.” My address made it appear that I lived in one of those counties, though I actually live a few miles from the county line in the neighboring county.** I explained this to her and gave her some insight into the county. Anyway, she now want to discuss things over the phone with me tomorrow. I’m not sure how much help I can be, but I am happy to be able to offer some assistance. Sadly, if they want to call to ask me for a donation, they are out of luck until I find a good paying job.
*To give just a hint at what organization I applied to work with, it just lost one of their founders over the weekend. His death was a great loss to civil rights movements.

**In my part of rural Alabama, the two nearest town refused to serve the rural mail routes where I live (this was many years before I was born), even though one of those routes ends two houses down from me. So another rural post office offered mail service but it was located in another county. At the time they only had one rural route all in the county where the post office existed. They expanded to have a second rural route in the neighboring county to give people that did not have rural mail access, mail service. Thus before they named our roads and gave us street numbers to simplify the rural 911 service, my address began with Route 2, Box ###. My great-grandmother is actually the one that convinced this small rural post office to bring mail service to our area.

  
Sometimes, there just isn’t much to say. Today is one of those days. Part of the reason is because I had a headache all day yesterday, and it just hurt to think. As I said in my post Saturday, I did not get the job that I’d gone in for a second interview for on Friday. It was not particularly a job I wanted, but it would have been a job that would have paid benefits. Turns out that one of the positions I’d interviewed for the week before had actually been hired before interviews were conducted. I’m pretty sure that’s how Friday’s interview was also. The whole process was for show, and it pisses me off that my time was wasted. Sadly, that’s how some things work. So I’m even more thankful that I didn’t get the job after the massive four hours wasted of my time on Friday. Yes, I did say four hours for this second “interview.” It’s a long story and one that pisses me off too much to retell.

I’d much prefer the job I am interviewing for tomorrow though. I have no idea what it pays, though because it is full-time with a fairly significant organization, I am assuming that it will have benefits. I do know what it will have to pay for me to be able to accept the job, but I will have to wait and see how the interview goes. The job would basically be to do what I’m currently doing in my volunteer job, but I’d be getting paid for it.

Here’s a quote that a friend of mine sent me. It’s one I’m trying to remember:

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney

So that’s about it for now.

I think job interviews are one of the torture devices of life, but it’s something we all have to go through. I guess if you are just independently wealthy, start your own business, or go into the family business, then you don’t, but that’s not the majority of us. Too bad I don’t have telepathic powers. Then I could read their minds and know exactly what to say and do. Or better yet they should just naturally see my awesomeness. Oh well, my charm and intelligence will just have to shine through.

Sorry for the short post but I needed to get to bed early.

One of the strange things about depression is that you can have a very down day where nothing really makes you happy, though the love and support of friends can greatly improve your mood; then there are days when you are very happy and things seem to just go right. Yesterday was one of those latter days. First of all, I found one of the rarest of gems: a job where I not only fit the minimum qualifications but also the preferred qualifications. The job is in a very liberal part of the country and is at an august institution of higher learning, but not one so prestigious that they would not look at someone like me who went to state colleges. Anyway, it would be a job that I think I would really enjoy.

Second, I have another interview with a local museum set for Tuesday afternoon. I’m not sure what they plan to pay, but I know what I am willing to accept for pay, especially if given an offer by the school board for my second interview with them on Friday. It’s also a job that I am much more qualified for, even if it’s a minor position at the museum, it would mean real full-time experience in a museum setting. So things are looking up, which is nice for a change.

Now this time next week, all the possibilities could turn to disappointment, but for now I’m holding out hope, something that I have been fighting to keep for the past few weeks. So even though Tuesday was doom and gloom, with the help of friends who lifted my spirits and some positive responses from job applications, I’m feeling better.

Also, since I was in a good mood, I cooked a pretty fantastic supper. I cooked a peppercorn marinated pork tenderloin wrapped in bacon. Forty-five minutes at 425 degrees and it came out perfectly. I also made Brussels sprouts and julianned potatoes. And while some may turn up your nose at Brussels sprouts, you’ve never had mine. I took frozen Brussels sprouts and added butter, the drippings from the tenderloin, a heaping tablespoon of light Alfredo sauce, and cracked black pepper, which I then brought to a boil over medium heat for just a few minutes. The usual bitterness that is associated with Brussels sprouts was no longer their with this method, and they were simply delicious. Of course, one can never go wrong with julianned potatoes. Cheese and potatoes, what’s not to like. So supper was delicious. Cooking a great meal always makes me feel better.

Yesterday was one of those blue mood days. It usually happens when I get a rejection letter. One of the community college jobs cancelled their job search because of funding. From my experience, that’s not unusual with colleges. While that was in no part my fault, it still depressed me. That isn’t the only thing that got me down though, but the other thing should have made me happy. The job that I went on an interview for last week called, and they want me to come in for a second interview. Which that is great, but it’s for the lesser paying of the two jobs they interviewed me for. This position actually pays less than my previous teaching position. On the plus side, it would have benefits unlike my previous position.

To make my mood worse, my old school starts back today. I hate that I am unemployed, but also I’m glad I’m not going back to that school. It still depressing that I’m not there, but I got severely burned out on teaching because of that place. The apathy of the students and parents was just soul draining. It did teach me a very valuable lesson: I do not want to teach middle school or high school again. I will go back to working in schools if I get this job that I have an interview for, but I won’t stop looking for something that will make me happy.

Of the dozen or so jobs that I have had in my lifetime, only three have made me very happy. I loved working at a bookstore when I was in college, sadly though brick and mortar book stores are becoming something of the past. I also loved teaching college. A lot of that may have been where I was teaching but I loved my students and they loved me, sadly that was only part time, and I was a casualty of budget cuts. The other job that I have loved is my current job as a volunteer. I love telling people about the museum and meeting so many wonderful people. Which is why, even if I have to settle for a job I might not particularly want, I am still going to pursue the museum studies certificate this fall (It runs from September 21-November 30, which will make a nice birthday present for me when I finish), and I will continue pursuing a job at a museum or historical site.

While it was a blue day yesterday, it did start out well with a nice conversation about poetry with a friend of mine, though I think she’s decided I’m a bit loquacious at times, and I had another good conversation with a friend of mine in the early afternoon. Then last night I had four different conversation with my boyfriend and three other friends of mine: two on the phone, two online (Kik and Twitter). So I’ve had the love and support of some wonderful friends, but anyone who has battled depression knows that no matter how good things can be, sometimes you have those days where it is very hard to see it. Yesterday was one of those days.

Here’s what my schedule has been like the last two weeks and what it will be like for the rest of this week:

• July 22: volunteered at the museum
• July 23: sat with my granny to give my mother a break
• July 24: sat with my granny again to give my mother a break (this was a two night trip)
• July 25: helped my dad get the house where I grew up ready to sell
• July 26: had a terrible headache nearly all day
• July 27: volunteered at the museum
• July 28: worked on job applications from the moment I woke up until I went to bed
• July 27: volunteered at the museum
• July 28: worked on job applications from the moment I woke up until I went to bed
• July 29: worked on job applications from the moment I woke up until I went to bed
• July 30: worked on job applications from the moment I woke up until I went to bed
• July 31: sat with my granny to give my mother a break
• August 1: helped my dad get the house where I grew up ready to sell; attended a birthday party for a friend of the family
• August 2: went to church in the morning; slept all afternoon since I’d worked most of the day then got home late from the party
• August 3: worked on job applications in the morning; volunteering at the museum in the afternoon
• August 4: worked on job applications from the moment I woke up until I went to bed
• August 5: ??? (See below)
• August 6: volunteer at the museum and go by and check on my granny who has now moved into an assisted living home
• August 7: lunch with a former colleague and job interview later that afternoon
• August 8: a day and night with my boyfriend, I’ve missed him while he’s been away and can’t wait to see him

To say that I have been busy would be an understatement. So, what is on my agenda today, you know, where I had the question marks? I have two choices: 1) spend the day in the pool for some much needed relaxation or 2) work on my novel. The good thing about those two choices is that both are fun and something I really want to do; the better thing about those two choices is that I can do both. I think I will do both as long as it doesn’t unexpectedly rain. Yesterday it was 100 degrees in this part of Alabama, the pool will feel great, and then I can write. I’ll let you know how it goes.

By the way, did you notice that I have a job interview on Friday. It’s not a job that I’m very excited about, but it (should) pay well, include benefits, and would give me money to live one while I keep looking for a job that I will find more rewarding. It is a job that a neighbor of mine recommended me for at the local board of education where she works. The job will basically be lots of paperwork and mentoring people while they get their GED and helping them decide what to do next. If nothing else, it should get me good karma points. My neighbor seems to think I have a good chance at the job, and she’ll be meeting with the woman interviewing me on Thursday for something else but plans to further “talk me up” for the job. Wish me luck. I’m just praying that God points me in the right direction.

For the first time in nearly a week, I was home and able to work on job applications. For nearly fourteen straight hours, I worked on retooling my résumé and CV to best showcase my skills and crafting different cover letters for each different job. It’s a much longer process than most people realize.

The academic jobs are the easiest because the CV and basic cover letter remain the same with a few changes here and there, but the kicker is the electronic submission of applications. Nearly all colleges use the same system, and those who don’t still ask for the same information, but none of the systems talk to each other. They should have one place to enter the job application information, but no, it has to be made more difficult so with each application you have to enter the same information over and over again. The thing is, all of that information is already on my CV. One college was actually smart and had you uploaded your CV first, and the program culled it for information and filled in the blanks. Then it allowed you to edit it or add anything that was missing. Sadly, it was the exception to the rule. Most require you to type in all the information over again.

Then there are the non-academic jobs. Because the jobs at museums, archives, and historical societies are so different, the cover letters have to be almost completely different. I may be going about this all wrong, but I’ve read all the articles I can stand to read on how to create a better résumé, how to tailor your CV, and how to write a cover letter that will grab a potential employers attention and showcase all the skills I have and how they are relavent to the position. Oh and don’t forget the longer the CV the better, but a résumé shouldn’t be no more than three pages max, and of course, the cover letter needs to be one page (It can be two but no one’s gonna read it if they think it’s too long). All the rules just makes you want to scream. If someone has any advice on how to make this process less painful, I’m all ears.

Anyway, I have tomorrow mostly at home too, so I’ll be continuing to keep churning out applications. I work all day and at the end of the day, it still seems like not much has been accomplished. But I will keep plugging away at it, until I’ve applied for all the jobs for which I’m qualified. Some of these jobs would put me in some pretty cool places: Richmond, Charleston, Austin, St. Louis, Nashville, Atlanta, Houston, etc. and y’all already know I’m ready for a move.

Today was the absolutely worst day ever
And don’t try to convince me that
There’s something good in every day
Because, when you take a closer look,
This world is a pretty evil place.
Even if
Some goodness does shine through once in a while
Satisfaction and happiness don’t last.
And it’s not true that
It’s all in the mind and heart
Because
True happiness can be obtained
Only if ones surroundings are good
It’s not true that good exists
I’m sure you can agree that
The reality
Creates
My attitude
It’s all beyond my control
And you’ll never in a million years hear me say that
Today was a good day

Now read from bottom to top.

Optimism versus pessimism, it’s all about perspective, but science has proven that optimism has real benefits to our lives. “Think happy thoughts” is common wisdom that many people rely on for getting through feelings of depression, and painful or difficult situations. Often, people try to be happy when they’re not; hoping that they will become the happy person they’re impersonating.

Much of our behavior depends on our attitudes. If our attitudes are negative, we can expect to be vulnerable to addictions and depression, and the resulting lack of focus and concentration may degrade every area of your life. A positive attitude can be developed by monitoring and disciplining your thoughts on a moment-by-moment basis.

If you are like me, however, this is hard. Yesterday, was actually a bad day for me. My cluster headache shave come back, and I’ve only had brief moments without pain for the past week or so. Furthermore, I’m frustrated with my job hunt. I’m worried about what I will do when the money runs out. To say the least, I’m scared, very scared. I’m also depressed because it looks increasingly like I will end up with a job that once again will it put my education to full use and might not even need me to use it at all. I worked too hard to let it go to waste.

So yesterday I was feeling very depressed. Even on antidepressants, there are days like yesterday. So when my mother called asking me to do something else that would keep me away from putting out more job applications, I got angry, and we had a fight. I always end up being the one to apologize because as many of us know, mothers are very good at guilting their children. I admit that I was unfair to my mother. She has a lot on her mind right now.

She’s getting her mother ready to move into an assisted living home, and she’s packing up the house I grew up in because they are finally selling it (they built their other house several years ago as a vacation home but decided to move their full-time). She also suffers from fibromyalgia. So I know she’s under a lot of stress, and she’s on constant pain. But am I just selfish because I want her to remember that I am unemployed and looking for a job and I need time to be able to look for that job? Maybe I am, but I already feel like I’m being pulled in a dozen directions when there are other family members who could help, but because I am unemployed and childless, I am the one expected to do it all.

Also, I have a problem with saying no. I hate to disappoint, and I often care too much what others think of me. So on most days I “put on a happy face” and “think happy thoughts” even though I feel like I’m dying inside. I tried very hard to keep a positive outlook on things, but right now, it’s looking very bleak.

A friend sent me the words above, and at first, I thought, “Well, they kind of summed up my day.” But hen I got to the end and red it from the bottom to the top. The words were the same but the message was the complete opposite. So, I am going to try to put on a happy face. I do have wonderful friends who help me when I’m down. But while I keep a happy face to the public, no one really knows (except those who are reading this), that I sometimes cry myself to sleep at night because I scared of what the future holds. Yet, I keep praying and hoping at hat God will help alleviate those fears and things will be for the better when all the dust settles and I find a job.