Category Archives: Discussion

December 20, 2013

The Dynasty Should Be Over

By Joe

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I will admit that I have watched Duck Dynasty on occasion, I’ve even heard Jase Robertson speak in person. The show can be somewhat humorous, just to watch the stupidity of rednecks, but it’s a lie that purports to be real. It only takes a few shows to just see how fake this family is. I have friends who live in Louisiana, and just like in Alabama where this is not always the case, there is a vast amount of ignorance in the state. My friends are all academics, with fairly liberal views, but no matter where you go in America today, ignorance abounds. Phil Robertson is just the latest example of this ignorance, but I have a particular bone to pick with him. He is giving my religion a bad name.

You see, Phil is a minister with the churches of Christ and should know better than to misquote the Bible. By the way, I had already been peeved with the Robertson family for putting on a Christmas pageant at their church. No good member of the church of Christ is going to celebrate Christmas within the church because the birth of Christ is something that we believe should be celebrated year round; however, for sheer monetary gain, the Robertson family flaunted a Christmas Pageant at their church on their “Duck Dynasty: Robertson Family Christmas.” The episode itself was so far removed from what Christmas should be about that it sickened me. The church of Christ does not frown upon its members for celebrating Christmas, but we don’t celebrate the holiday as an official church activity. My own church had a Christmas party but it was hosted by one of our members who invited us all to her house for dinner, but was not sponsored by the church.

The thing is, in the church of Christ we do not add to or take away from the New Testament. Yet, Phil did just that in his comments to GQ Magazine. In his shocking interview with GQ’s Drew Magary, Phil Robertson — the 67-year-old patriarch of the Duck Commander kingdom that earned his Louisiana family a fortune and a hit A&E series — opened up about “modern immorality” and the gay community. In the interview, he stated:

It seems like, to me, a vagina — as a man — would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.

Everything is blurred on what’s right and what’s wrong. Sin becomes fine. Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men. Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers — they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.

The emphasized part of the above quote is a misquoted and mistranslated version of 1 Corinthians 6:9-10. The King James Version (which is one of the most accurate English translations) reads:

9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate (malokois), nor abusers of themselves with mankind (arsenokoitai)
10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

The English Standard Version, which is probably the mistranslation that Phil was quoting from, reads:

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

Phil takes an incorrect view of the Bible with this passage. In the King James Version, I have put in parentheses the two original words that have caused the most controversy. There have been 44 different interpretations in English of the word malokois. Most common through history have been weaklings, effeminates, or homosexual. I believe all of these are incorrect interpretations of the word. Greek scholars say that in first century the Greek word malaokois probably meant “effeminate call boys.” The New Revised Standard Version says “male prostitutes.” Some biblical scholars have argued that the term is used for the word catamite, which is a fairly consistent interpretation by most Biblical scholars. A catamite was a young hairless boy used for sexual pleasure by older men. This derives from the more Ancient Greek practice of pederasty (remember that Corinth is in the Greek Peloponnesus). The practice that Paul is condemning is and always has been that of pedophilia, not homosexuality.

As for arsenokoitai, Greek scholars don’t know exactly what it means — and the fact that we don’t know is a big part of this tragic debate. Some scholars believe Paul was coining a name to refer to the customers of “the effeminate call boys.” We might call them “dirty old men.” Others translate the word as “sodomites,” but never explain what that means. In 1958, for the first time in history, a person translating that mysterious Greek word into English decided it meant homosexuals, even though there is, in fact, no such word in Greek or Hebrew. But that translator made the decision for all of us that placed the word homosexual in the English-language Bible for the very first time.

The fact is, there is no clear evidence that homosexual orientation or that the love between two men or two women is a sin. The Bible is completely silent on the issue of homosexual orientation. And no wonder. Homosexual orientation wasn’t even known as a term until the 19th century.

Phil Robertson claims that he studies his Bible and carries it with him always, yet he can’t even correctly quote the Bible. He continues to use a bad translation of the Bible in order to spew his vile comments to the world. The biggest problem with Phill Robertson is that he is a hypocrite. Robertson was once a substance abuser, but in the 1970s he turned his life over to Jesus, according to the Christian publication, The Southeast Outlook. He has since been a devout Christian and strives to be a scholar of the Bible. Like most people who come to Christianity later in life, Phil has become over zealous in his beliefs in order to atone for past sins. Instead of being a loving Christian man, who shows his generosity, he uses his fame and his Bible to browbeat his brand of Christianity onto those who disagree with him.

A representative from A&E released the following statement from Phil Roberston in response to the controversy:

I myself am a product of the 60s; I centered my life around sex, drugs and rock and roll until I hit rock bottom and accepted Jesus as my Savior. My mission today is to go forth and tell people about why I follow Christ and also what the bible teaches, and part of that teaching is that women and men are meant to be together. However, I would never treat anyone with disrespect just because they are different from me. We are all created by the Almighty and like Him, I love all of humanity. We would all be better off if we loved God and loved each other.

To be fair, I completely agree with the last three sentences of Phil’s statement; however, how much of it is true considering the statements he made in GQ and statements he’s made in past sermons and speeches. This isn’t the first time that Phil has spoken about against homosexuality, but this was the most public of his statements.

GLAAD spokesperson Wilson Cruz said it best when he released the following statement:

Phil and his family claim to be Christian, but Phil’s lies about an entire community fly in the face of what true Christians believe. He clearly knows nothing about gay people or the majority of Louisianans –- and Americans — who support legal recognition for loving and committed gay and lesbian couples. Phil’s decision to push vile and extreme stereotypes is a stain on A&E and his sponsors who now need to reexamine their ties to someone with such public disdain for LGBT people and families.

In the backlash to Phil’s statements, A&E suspended Phil Robertson “indefinitely” from the reality series due to his comments about the LGBT community. How much will A&E stand by their suspension, especially with the rest of the Robertson clan standing firmly behind their patriarch? There is just too much money at stake for both A&E and the Robertsons. “Duck Dynasty” is on hiatus until Jan. 15, and a network spokesman said Thursday that nine of next season’s 10 episodes have already been filmed. That means Robertson likely isn’t needed in front of the camera before next March, by which time this whole crisis may have blown over. And blow over it will, eventually, says veteran Hollywood crisis publicist Howard Bragman, who added that Robertson will likely return to the show as well, perhaps after making a heartfelt apology.

8 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , | posted in Church of Christ, Discussion, Religion

December 19, 2013

Affordable Care Act

By Joe

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Let me just start this post with a simple statement: I AM PISSED OFF! Two things have made me incredibly mad in the past few days. The first thing was that on Monday, I helped a lady register with healthcare.gov (in Alabama, we have to use the government’s website because our governor would not allow the state’s insurance commission to activate the website they had been designing which would have made it easier to sign up for insurance). And the second is Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson’s ignorant and unchristian comments in GQ magazines about homosexuality. The former is the subject of today’s post. I will deal with Mr. Robertson when my blood stops boiling, and I can write rationally on the subject.

Last week, I signed up for health insurance through healthcare.gov. I have not had health insurance in a year because my insurance company nearly doubled my premiums last year, and I could no longer afford it. I work for a small private school, which offers no benefits and a meager salary, so I had no choice but to let my insurance lapse. With the tax credit that I am qualified for, my insurance premium was cut in half by signing up through healthcare.gov. I also have to tell you that I am constantly surrounded by Republicans who hate anything associated with President Obama. I have heard many nasty and untrue remarks about the Affordable Care Act such as:

“The blacks are all for Obamacare because it’s something free from Obama.”

“All Obamacare will do is raise our premiums.”

“The insurance companies are raising rates because they are forced to by the government.”

“I don’t like the government telling me what I have to do.”

The list of remarks go on and on. I have consistently said that it would save most of us money. When the government shutdown occurred, I did a massive amount of research on the affordable Care Act, so that I could explain it to my students and answer their questions about the government shutdown. When the website officially opened, I did try to go ahead and sign up; however, there were numerous glitches. Obama told Americans that it would be fixed by November 30, so I waited. All websites and software have problems when initially launched, that’s why updates are created. If you have an Apple or Microsoft product, you will constantly have updates to be downloaded and installed. If you run a blog, there will be issues from time to time. It’s the nature of technology; none of it is perfect.

When I did go to healthcare.gov to sign up, it was incredibly easy. A few clicks and 30 minutes later I had the same insurance (actually slightly better) than I had before, and with the same company at nearly half he price I had been paying. I could have taken a cheaper plan, but the deductible was so high that it was not worth having the insurance. Since I know a fair number of people who are nearly completely computer illiterate, I have helped two other people navigate the website. Mainly because they have no idea even how to use a mouse. I read each question and typed in the answers for them. For both of them, the registration process was easy.

What makes me angry though is that one of them is an older black lady who works at the school. A gentle and kind-hearted woman who has very little education because the segregated school systems of her youth in Alabama failed her. She works very hard to support herself and her daughter with no government assistance of any kind and an even more meager salary than I have. One of the provisions that many people have complained about with the Affordable Care Act is that the poor, those that make under about $17,000 a year will get free health insurance through Medicaid. They complain that everyone who has insurance will be paying for them to have insurance. This has been a particular point for Alabama Republicans who want to get rid of all entitlement programs that assist the poor, especially entitlement programs that assist the poverty stricken African-American population of Alabama.

The woman I was helping register was far below the $17,000 mark and should have qualified for Medicaid through the Affordable Care Act. However, there was a problem. Alabama’s Governor Robert Bentley (who’s a doctor by the way, albeit a dermatologist) refused to expand Medicaid in Alabama. Therefore, if this poor woman wants insurance, she will be forced to pay nearly four times what I will be paying for a monthly premium. It angers me to no end that people will complain about who’s getting what for free, yet they have no idea what they are talking about. This woman works very hard for little pay to take care of a bunch of spoiled rotten little white kids (and thankfully their appreciative teachers) to be told sorry, we won’t help you because we are afraid you might get something that we don’t or that we might have to pay for you to have a little better quality to your life. In America, we far too often don’t care about the poor.

Her saving grace, though, is two-fold. One, because Alabama refused to expand Medicaid, she is exempt from having to meet the insurance requirement of the Affordable Care Act, meaning she won’t have to pay the penalty (or tax, as the U.S. Supreme Court declared it) for not having insurance. Two, we are fortunate in this part of Alabama to have a healthcare company that caters to the uninsured and under-insured, so she can still see these doctors for treatment. Truthfully, they have some of the best healthcare professionals in the area. I even use their clinics because of the superior health and dental care they provide. They have wonderful social workers who work with people to get them the medical attention that they are unable to provide, and they work tirelessly to gain grants for community health to keep the cost of healthcare to a minimum at their clinics, they are not perfect in many ways, they have some major problems with their administration; however, it does not affect the quality of healthcare provided.

By the way, while we are discussing the Affordable Care Act, I saw this on the blog Queer Landia about healthcare for America’s LGBT:

Out2Enroll is a coalition of organizations who want to help lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people stay healthy by making sure that one of the major benefits of the Affordable Care Act — access to affordable, comprehensive health insurance coverage — reaches LGBT communities. Get Enrolled is a holiday parody, produced by our friends at Full Frontal Freedom, which aims to bring awareness to the final week of health marketplace enrollment. For more information, go to http://www.out2enroll.org.

So I encourage you, if you have not done so and don’t have health insurance, go sign up at healthcare.gov. It’s not as bad as everyone has reported. I have been through the process three times with myself and two others, and it is a very smooth process. I know that some of my readers are not Obama supporters; however, I do not believe that the Affordable Care Act is the end of the world. It is not what I would have done to fix America’s healthcare problems, but it’s what Congress passed. I would have preferred that the government take on the rising cost of healthcare in other ways, particularly by not allowing doctors to charge patients without insurance more than the insurance companies pay for those who have insurance.

That is all. That is my rant for today. Be prepared for another one tomorrow. I promise though that I will more than make up for my two days of rants with my Moment of Zen on Saturday.

5 Comments | posted in Discussion, Politics

December 5, 2013

TMI: KISS THE COOK!

By Joe

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I don’t do these TMI posts from Sean at Just A Jeep Guy every week, but on occasion, I see a topic that I can’t resist. Since I love to cook, this one was a no brainer. I had to answer the question. I hope you enjoy my answers.

1. How good of a cook are you?

I’m actually a really good cook. I’ve experimented a lot with different spices and how they taste, so I can usually eat something once and then recreate it. I can also cook a wide variety of food, such as Southern comfort foods, Italian cuisine, Creole and Cajun, Mexican, and various other types of dishes. I’ve never had anyone taste my food that didn’t love it, even when it’s something they don’t normally like. As my aunt usually asks, “Did you doctor it?” My answer is always yes. I’m going to make sure it tastes good before I serve it.

2. Who taught you how to cook?

My grandmama taught me the most about cooking, and my mama helped out a lot as well. They both taught me how to cook good southern food. I learned to cook everything else I cook from watching the Food Network and experimenting with their recipes.

3. Who does the cooking in your home?

I do all of the cooking in my home. Usually, at least once a week or so, I also cook for my neighbors.

4. Do you cook more or eat out more?

I do more cooking than eating out. I enjoy eating out, but I love in a rural area, so eating out is not convenient. I cook what we have at home mostly. This also allows me to regulate the calorie and carb content of my cooking. I almost always make one meat, two vegetables and a bread. The only exception is when I make soups or stews then I only add a bread to that.

5. Are you more of a cook or dessert maker?

I am more of a cook. My mother and I together can make wonderful desserts, but alone, I’m not so good at it. I do make fabulous cookies, though. It’s the one sweet that my mother taught me well enough that I can make cookies and brownies on my own. We used to make a lot of cookies at Christmas time. In fact, we still do, just not together. And I almost forgot, I make a wonderful peach cobbler, but I love to adapt it and use plums instead, which is beyond delicious.

6. What was your worst/funniest cooking moment?

My worst moment is any time I try to fry chicken. My mama can fry a chicken better than anyone I’ve ever known, but I’ve never had her gift, and good fried chicken is a gift.

I don’t know if I’ve ever had a funniest cooking moment. Although I recently made a fake coconut cake for a friend: styrofoam for the cake, rolled-out clay for the icing, and fake snow for the coconut. It looks beautiful and delicious, but you wouldn’t want to eat it.

7. What’s your best dish?

My best dish is Scallopini al Vino, which is veal in a white wine sauce. Pair that with risotto, bacon-wrapped asparagus, some linguini, and a good loaf of Italian or French bread, and along with a good pinot grigio, you have a delicious feast. (The dessert will be in the bedroom.)

I do my best cooking with Italian food, but if you prefer Southern comfort food, I can make a delicious meal by frying some pork chops, cooking collard greens and pink-eyed purple hull peas, with some fried hot water cornbread, that as they say in the South “Will make you slap yo mama!”

8. Is revenge a dish best served cold?

I don’t think revenge is a good dish at all. It’s best if you forgive and forget. Why dwell on something when you should jut move on. It’s best just to let anyone you’d want to take revenge on to just go their merry way, and let that be that.

9. Is the best way to a man’s heart truly through his stomach?

Absolutely! Let me cook for a man with a good appetite, and I’m pretty sure I can have him not only for the rest of the night (I make fabulous French toast for breakfast), but for the rest of his life as well. People have always told me that I’d make a wonderful husband, I just haven’t been given the chance to prove it. One day, I will though, and I have no doubt that my cooking skills will close the deal.

BONUS
Have you made whoopee in the kitchen? Which foods have you used to spice up your love life?

Nope, I’ve never made whoopee in the kitchen, but it is a fantasy of mine. I’ve never used food to spice up my love life, mainly because it’s nearly non-existent. However,that is something I would do if I had the chance. I will say though that Charles Anthony’s Restaurant at “The Pub” in Montgomery, Alabama, has a creme brûlée for dessert is truly an orgasmic experience. I’m serious, take one bite and your dick gets rock hard, eat all of it, and you’ve had an orgasm in your pants. If you are able to resist the orgasm, then you will be so horny by the time you get home, that your significant other won’t know what hit him.

4 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , | posted in Discussion, Food, Miscellaneous

November 29, 2013

Black Friday

By Joe

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Did anyone go to the Black Friday sales? Did you find any great bargains? If not, what are you doing today?

I did not go shopping. Black Friday is always just too crazy. I’m still at my parents’ house. My sister’s family could not make it to our Thanksgiving because she went with her husband to his family’s Thanksgiving. Since my sister was unable to make it yesterday, they are coming today to have lunch. I was ordered to stay because my five-year-old niece has insisted on throwing me a birthday party. So we will eat Thanksgiving leftovers for lunch, and then have cake and ice cream as a family celebration. You see, living in Alabama, a celebration could not take place on Saturday. This Saturday is one of the most important days for any Alabamian. It’s the day of the Alabama vs. Auburn football game. For many Alabamians, this is more important than the Super Bowl. Honestly, I really don’t care who wins this year. Auburn is #4 and Alabama is #1 in the polls. Whichever wins will go to the SEC Championship game. If it is Alabama, it will be almost assuredly another step toward another National Championship; however, if Auburn wins, it is a possibility that they could jump to #2 in the polls and be poised for a National Championship. Either way, a school from the state of Alabama is likely to be in the National Championship game for a fifth straight year. Anyway, in Alabama, you can’t plan anything before or during the game. Plans after the game are likely to be determined by whether or not you’re celebrating your teams victory or mourning its loss.

With rivalry weekend in full swing, what football teams will you be pulling for?

I won’t care either way about Alabama or Auburn. I am most loyal to the football team at my graduate school. Saturday is our last chance of the season to win our first game in two years. Our storied football program has suffered mightily these last two years. I refuse to give up hope on my beloved, but downtrodden, team. SMTTP!

7 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , | posted in Discussion, Miscellaneous, Sports

November 22, 2013

Castaways

By Joe

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Just sit right back
And you’ll hear a tale
A tale of a fateful trip,
That started from this tropic port,
Aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailin’ man,
The Skipper brave and sure,
Five passengers set sail that day,
For a three hour tour,
A three hour tour.

We all know this song. It’s the theme song for Gilligan’s Island. I loved this show as a kid, and I always wondered what it would be like to be stranded on that island. I think we all wish at one time or another that we could disappear to an “uncharted desert isle.” If you knew you’d be stranded on an island and could have six people with you and one item, who and what would you choose?

Number one on my list would be my “guardian accountant.” That may sound odd, but he’s also one of my best friends, and I love him dearly. He is intelligent, caring, and would make a wonderful leader, and any group would need him. Not only that, he’s lived his whole life on a tropical island, so he’d be a perfect choice.

I would also choose my best friend. She’s very resourceful, and I couldn’t do without her. That also means, I’d have to choose her husband, but he’s ex-military, so I think he’d be a good choice too. It helps that I get along well with him also. I have to say, I didn’t think she could do it, but she found herself a wonderful man.

I’d also take our art teacher at school. That might sound like an odd choice too, but she’d make everything look nice. I’m not for sure she’d survive unless we figured out how to make beer, but she’d be worth having there for entertainment value if nothing else. She’s also a very resourceful woman, so she’d be very useful. It would be up to her, if she decided to bring her husband, but it wouldn’t be the worst thing if she did. At least he has a fabulous butt to look at.

If my art teacher friend decided not to bring her husband, I would definitely bring the lady who runs the lunchroom at school. Not only is a she a master with food, and between the two of us, we’d all be well fed, she has a green thumb that would be most resourceful. Besides, she has a great wit that would keep everyone entertained, and I’m sure she’d love to escape to a tropical island.

Last but not least, I’d bring along a certain 22 year-old. I’m sure he’d be resourceful too, but I’d just prefer to frolic naked with him and have amazing sex all the time. He’s sweet, beautiful, and intelligent. What more could you ask for? Also, he makes me smile, and never fails to put me in a good mood.

Now I’d also love to bring along some of my followers, especially a Boy Scout leader who I know would be prepared for anything.

For the last thing, that one item I’d bring. I guess it’s not necessarily an item, but it is something that I couldn’t do without. I’d have to bring HRH along. She’d be lost without me, and I’d be lost without her.

So, if you knew you’d be stranded on an island and could have six people with you and one item, who and what would you choose?

2 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , , | posted in Discussion, Miscellaneous

November 21, 2013

What Is It?

By Joe

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I have two question for you guys. What is it about a man that always turns you on? Makes you weak in he knees? This is not necessarily a question about sex, but about that one thing that never fails for you to think or say aloud, “Ugh, damn!”

For me, that one thing is when a man smells good. Smells have always evoked a strong emotional response with me. I love the smell of a man when he is freshly showered, or when he has on the perfect cologne. I’m not speaking of a funky smell or anything, but sometimes it is just the smell of man that can drive me crazy.

I asked a friend of mine what was his major turn on, and he said that it was the feel of a man’s body. I have to agree with him on this. Just think about when I guy walks up behind you and his hard chest meets your back. I know that my knees turn to jelly when a guy does this.

Also, what is the first thing about a guy that you notice? If I’m facing a guy, my eyes generally go to his eyes, but if his back is to me, I’m going to check out his butt first. My friend mentioned that one of the first thing he notices about a guy is if he has sexy kissable lips. He really enjoys kissing, so his eyes always goes to a guys lips.

So I want to know from you guys (and gals, for those who read this): What is the one thing about a man that never fails to turn you on? Also, what is the first thing you notice about a guy?

Leave a comment   |  tags: , , , , , | posted in Discussion

October 31, 2013

The Masks We Wear

By Joe

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Yesterday, I wrote about how certain people in the gay community have strict types, how they automatically reject those who don’t fit their type, and how ageism, sexism, and racism have become a part of the gay community. I find it ridiculous how as a community we reject those who don’t conform to our expectations, and this goes beyond just the gay community but to humanity as a whole. I also mentioned the “bromo” type. Coop wrote this in his comment, and I wanted to share it with those of you who might not have read the comments:

There are a lot of talking heads out in the gay community who like to chide gay men for acting too straight or (allegedly) trying to downplay the fact that they are gay by saying that they are straight acting. My first thought when I read the word “bromo” in this post was that somewhere some know-it-all will have a problem with that designation/group/ whatever you want to call it.

The thing is that we all have our prejudices, no matter how hard we work against them. I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. When we chide each other for being too “straight-acting” or too “flamboyant,” we cheapen ourselves as a community. Those of us who are closeted know that we must appear straight or the rumors that you’re gay fly around like a bat out of hell. I have several close friends here and away from here who know I am gay. I even have many who suspect that I am gay, but never say so. I have different ways of acting around different people. I keep up appearances, which is part of the deception of being in the closet. I don’t like it, but it’s reality.

The point I’m trying to make is that we are all unique. Some of us are naturally flamboyant, while others may be more “straight acting” or just a “good ol’ boy” or however you want to put it. I dare not say normal because what’s normal for me is not necessarily normal for you. With that said, we all have it in us to show different personalities to different people. For all things there is a time and place. Sometimes, I can be flamboyant when I want to be, and sometimes I’m not and do my best to blend into my surroundings. It’s according to the situation. I think all gay men have it in them to be flamboyant. Sometimes it just comes out in us. I have to catch myself to keep from calling everyone “honey” or saying something is “fabulous.” I often say instead that something is “fantastic” but that can sound just as flamboyant as fabulous at times.

Anyone who says they are completely straight-acting is being ridiculous. There is nothing straight-acting about giving a blowjob unless you’re a woman. Therefore, I understand the gay pundits who rail against those who call themselves straight-acting, but I also understand why someone can describe themselves as straight-acting. No matter how much we hate labels, they are often useful.

So no matter what mask you wear, I urge you and myself to be ourselves more. We can still wear the masks that hide our sexuality, but if we hide who we truly are then we lose ourselves.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

2 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , , | posted in Discussion, Miscellaneous

October 25, 2013

Arguing with Henry Longfellow

By Joe

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The title of this post is one of the best euphemisms for masturbation that I have ever seen. I knew this would have to be a quickie because I left my computer at school by accident, so I’m typing this post on my iPhone. By the way, iPhones are great for porn, LOL. You can lay in bed, watch a video while holding the iPhone in one hand, and using the other to “argue with Henry Longfellow.” I hope that all of my readers have enjoyed my week-long series of posts about masturbation.

So considering the title of this post: What is your favorite euphemism for masturbation?

1 Comment   |  tags: , , , , , , | posted in Discussion, Miscellaneous

October 24, 2013

The Pros and the Cons of Porn

By Joe

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I’ll admit I’ve indulged in porn (magazines/videos/Internet) ever since I reached puberty and discovered where Dad hid his stash. I’d sneak a look at my father’s magazines and VCR tapes (which sadly enough, were all straight porn). Then again, what would you really expect from your Dad? It was watching that first porn that I discovered how to masturbate, and when I came, it freaked me out. I had not idea what had happened, but I knew I liked it. I remember my penis seeming to be puffy afterwards. Do you remember your first experience masturbating?

This post is not about my first time masturbating, but about the pros and cons of pornography. I began to think more about this as I have written this week’s posts, but especially because of Adon’s comment on my Sunday post:

I hear a lot from many sources of what a “problem” porn is. Is it a problem? Personally I see no harm in it except the guilt and shame that many people of faith connect to it.

So I decide to write about my experience with porn and a bit about its pros and cons. I’d check out the guys in magazines and videos and imagine what it’d be like for me to be with these guys. More importantly, what it would be like to snuggle up next to them at the end of the day, to fall gently off to sleep with my arms wrapped around one or resting safely and peacefully in the guy’s own arms. I’ve always wanted a strong man to wrap me up in his arms and make me the comfort that comes with that. Such was my “release from my real life”; one that just didn’t fit in with the dreams and hopes I had for myself. It was the only thing I felt I could do to create some version of the future I wanted; it wasn’t real but it was at least more in line with what I was feeling as a post-pubescent teenager and later on, as a young man, even though I did not yet understand that I was gay.

I grew up in a small rural town. I didn’t know any gay people, and nothing was ever said nicely about the ones they mentioned. It was a scary feeling. I remember looking at International Male and Undergear catalogs, not to mention the underwear section of the Sears Wishbook, my true wish had nothing to do with all of the other goodies in the catalog. When my mother questioned me, three or four times between ages 18 and 22, I denied that I was gay. Finally, when I was about 23, she confronted me about it again, and I admitted to her that I was gay. The aftermath was not pretty, but again, I’m off subject.

With regards to porn, I began my journey along that road somewhere along about 12-to-14 years of age. It was likely to have been when my testosterone kicked in and I began masturbating every chance I got. I couldn’t steal my dad’s porn, but I do remember having the movie “Bachelor Party” on VHS and really enjoying the scenes when the women went to see the male strippers.

But, what effect did watching porn have on me, as a teen and as an adult? For instance, I sometimes wonder if there’s an upside to looking at or watching porn and likewise, I wonder if there’s a downside (a real danger to indulging in the practice). For me it was a question of getting caught and feeling guilt of a religious nature. It isn’t about going to Heaven or Hell, yet more of was certain bad things that were happening in my life were because I indulged in porn. Was God punishing me? Through a lot of prayer and meditation, the same technique I used to come to terms with my homosexuality, I came to the decision to believe what my preacher had always preached: God does not punish us for sins in this life, but in the next. Read my post from Sunday to understand my full stance on the issue of the porn and sin.

I can say that when I first began looking at porn it was all about escaping the “traditional” reality that was expected of me in the face of the very “non-traditional” existence I believed/believe I was meant to live. Though I also understood that porn was a fantasy. Men that good-looking and well-endowed rarely existed in the real world. The real question, I suppose is just how much are someone chooses to FOCUS on pornography? Are those fantasies (while indulging in porn) preventing you from keeping your feet firmly planted in the real world? Are you spending so much time “living a fantasy life, through porn” that your own REAL life is passing by, unnoticed and unappreciated?

So I turned to porn when I became horny, or sometimes stressed, and I would watch a video or look at pictures, masturbate and then I felt better. However, it never ruled my life. I never allowed it to do so.

Most of us know that porn is a cheap imitation of the real thing. Real sex can be wonderful, and is most of the time, though sex is not always good. Sometimes we need the fantasy of porn, where the sex always looks perfect. The reality of porn is that the actors work very hard (no pun intended) and have long days. Porn actors constantly discuss in interviews that it is never as easy as it looks. However, some do porn because they want to give others pleasure; most do porn for the money. We usually don’t know what particularly the need the money for: college, a car, debts, drugs, etc. I tend to dislike the studios who are known to prey on drug addicts. When there is a vinous drug abuse, it’s a major turn off to me.

So what effect does watching porn have on your life?

Porn is a controversial subject. Some people feel that pornography damages society or is unhealthy, others believe it may actually be beneficial. Many studies have been done on the effects of porn, for example, whether it causes increased violence against women (it doesn’t) or leads to unrealistic expectations (it can in certain people). This is a discussion about the ways porn is good or bad, and the situations in which it can be beneficial or harmful.

The easy access afforded by the massive boom in online porn led many of us to our first experiences with it at a young and curious age. It showed us what a naked body looks like up close and what sex actually is. It introduced us to a world of sex acts, kinks, and fetishes, some of it beyond our imaginations. As we moved beyond curiosity, it provided us a tool to help with arousal and masturbation. Visual stimulation can be very sexually arousing of itself, and it saves you from having to do the fantasizing on your own.

For the majority of people, there is nothing wrong with porn. With experience, most of us learn that sex isn’t always or even usually like it’s portrayed in porn. Every naked body looks different, we don’t all react and respond in the same ways, we choose which sexual acts we enjoy taking part in, and we learn that each interaction and partner differs from the last.

It is important to realize that porn is not reality. It uses actors and it follows a script. Yes, some porn is more realistic than others, and amateur porn or videos shot by good quality production companies can seem very realistic, but most pornography depicts something very different from the sex you would have with a partner. If most of your exposure to sexuality has been from from the scenes you’ve seen in porn, it may be a letdown when you finally get a chance to have sex with someone if you’ve let that shape your expectations.

For this reason, experts in the field are stressing how important it is for parents to talk to their kids about porn, especially if they know their child is watching it. There is a drive for it to be part of high school sex-education curriculum, but anti-porn activists are fighting to prevent this from being discussed in classrooms. As long as we understand the realities of porn, I don’t see a problem with it as long as it has it’s proper place in our sexual explorations.

Some people, especially those with a history of problems with addiction, can become addicted to porn. If your porn watching negatively affects your life, you may have a problem. If you cancel or miss plans with others, fall behind in work because of porn, or anything else like that, it’s a problem. If your porn habit prevents you from being sexually intimate with your partner, that’s a problem too.

Masturbation, with or without porn, is a normal and healthy activity even when you’re in a relationship, but if you’d rather watch porn than be sexual with a partner, you should evaluate the situation. Have you lost your attraction for your partner, or do you have a pornography addiction problem?

If the porn you watch makes you uncomfortable (due to its subject matter) or if it’s leading you to act differently with your partner(s), it may be a good idea to switch up the porn you’re watching or even take a short break from porn altogether.

Porn should be a positive and healthy experience that provides an escape from reality, gets you aroused and ready for sexual stimulation, and can give you ideas to incorporate into your personal sex life. If you remember that it isn’t reality and that your partner still likes you, there should be no negative effects of watching porn.

 

PS.  THE GUY IN THE PHOTO LOOKS AMAZINGLY LIKE THE GUY I HAD A CRUSH ON IN HIGH SCHOOL WHO WAS MY MOST OFTEN MASTURBATORY FANTASY IN MY TEEN YEARS.

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October 9, 2013

Nipples

By Joe

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This is a totally off the wall post, but I have that prerogative on occasion. I have a thing for nipple piercings on men. It’s the only piercing I ever thought I might get, though I doubt I will ever get the nerve to do so. I think the first time I ever got turned on to a nipple piercing was a scene on a TV show. (I don’t remember what show it was but I vaguely remember it being on the Sci-Fi Channel. It was several years ago before they changed to the SyFy Channel.) One of the characters in the show, not even a main character, was making out with a girl and she sucked on his nipple piercing taking it into her mouth and pulling on his nipple. I remember thinking how incredibly sexy that looked and how incredible it must have felt. It turned me on enough that I do remember that I watched the whole series (even though I can’t remember what it was) because this was the first scene on the premiere episode.

With that being said, this is more of a mental turn on. I’ve never been with a guy who had a nipple piercing. I do find them incredibly sexy though, especially on a well-defined chest. Nice pectoral muscles on a guy, gets me every time. They don’t have to be super defined either, but just slightly defined. It’s just one of those things that drives me wild, and I just felt like sharing that bit of information, even if it might be TMI.

So tell me, is there something that totally turns you on and you can’t explain why? What drives you wild?

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